


Don't Be Afraid To Dream

by pherryt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (First ever SPN Fic and First ever long fic), Actor Castiel, Artist Dean, Bar Fight, Blind!Dean, Dean and Cas meet at a convention, Destiel - Freeform, F/F, Fluff and Angst, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Knitting, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Mostly Fluff, Strong Language, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Temporary Blindness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 61
Words: 72,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5230421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean bribes Jo into going to his first convention with him so he can see his favorite actor, Castiel Novak, in person. He didn't expect to meet him face to face, and he certainly didn't expect anything that happened afterwards, the good OR the bad.</p><p>(Oh look at this, I still suck at summaries...)</p><p>P.S. Quick Pencil Sketches are being added to both new and old chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Angel Looking Over Your Shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, I wondered, what was the point of AU's....and now I'm writing one. The idea took hold and I have to get it down. I know 90 % of the story, but I don't know yet, quite how long it will be, or how it will end. I love what I've written so far though.
> 
> Um, so General Audiences cause yes, we have Dean and Cas getting together (and others) but nothing graphic (I'm absolutely sure I wouldn't be comfortable even trying to write something graphic like that).
> 
> I did put the violence warning though because there is one scene I'm planning for that will have some, though I don't know yet how well it'll be written or how exactly graphic it will be - but just in case.
> 
> Um...Might have to update my tags as I go along, not sure what all characters will ACTUALLY make a physical appearance. Yet. Also, I'm not entirely sure what tags to put on these stories. I feel like some tags give away whats going to happen.

It was only the morning of the second day of the convention, and Dean had already lost Jo. The two of them had come together after Dean had convinced (he hadn't begged. Dean Winchester didn't _beg_. Bribe maybe, but beg never!) her to come with him.  It was his first con and he hadn't any clue what to expect, so he hadn't wanted to go alone.   
  
But here he was...alone. No Jo in sight. He sighed and looked around, hitching his backpack up over his shoulder after it started to slide down. He spied an empty space on one of the few cushioned benches over by one of the main panel halls and aimed for it.   
  
Reaching it just in time, Dean claimed a spot and dropped his backpack on the floor between his feet, pulling his phone out of his jacket. Still no messages from Jo other than the one he'd received last night:

_::Don't wait up for me::_    
  
He frowned at it, wondering if he should be worried. Sure, Jo could take care of herself, but...if something _had_ happened, Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen would _kill_ him. He hit reply and started typing, forgoing proper spelling and punctuation to get his message out faster. Plus, it always annoyed Jo which was definitely an added bonus. He grinned, sure he'd come up with a sure fire way to make sure she'd answer this time.   
  
_::Jo where r u? If u dont answer, im assuming the worst & calling the cops::_  
  
Pulling out his mp3 player, he put on his headphones and made sure his phone was set on vibrate before he pulled a sketchbook out of his backpack and set to work on the portrait he'd been working on since the panel yesterday. He'd attended the one with his favorite actors promoting their newest movie and it'd been a high energy, very entertaining panel. He had snapped a photo with his phone and now he was using it as a reference.   
  
Soon, he was in the zone. People came and went beside him, folks passed down the hallway on either side of him. Sometimes the crowd around him was vast and he'd look at the schedule he'd saved to his phone out of curiosity to see what had just let out. He had another panel he wanted to see at 2, but until then, no plans. It was an hour later that he finally got a message back from Jo.   
  
_::Jerk, don't worry about me, I'm alive. Wanna meet up for lunch?::_    
  
After startling violently – and almost losing his phone - when his phone started to vibrate on his thigh, he placed the pencil in his mouth and grabbed the phone up with both hands to answer.   
  
_::U been hanging out with my bro again?::_  
  
_::Screw you, Dean. Lunch, Yes or No?::_  
  
_::Hell yes! Im STARVING::_  
  
_::You're always hungry. Meet you in the lobby at noon?::_  
  
_::Got it::_ he typed back slowly, grinning around his pencil. He was sure he could convince her to go to that diner a few blocks over that they'd passed on their way in. He'd googled the name and it bragged that they had the best burgers ever. He'd be the judge of that!   
  
He placed the phone back on his thigh, bringing the photo back up so he could continue...then froze. He slowly tilted his head back in answer to a prickling feeling between his shoulder blades, pencil still hanging out in his mouth. His eyes met the brightest blue eyes he'd ever seen, as he looked at the face that was upside down in his vision and he blinked, shocked.   


  
  


  
Was that...Castiel Novak? His _favorite_ movie actor? Staring at him? Standing behind the bench seat and what was he...looking over his shoulder at ...Dean blinked again as he realized and jerked his head back down and slammed his sketchbook shut, than jumping up and whirling to face him while his phone clattered to the ground.   
  
"Dude! Personal space!" He managed to get out, breathlessly and trying not to blush, but sure he'd failed. Castiel Novak squinted his eyes at Dean, looked down at the bench between them, than back up and tilted his head in confusion.   
  
"This was not sufficient space?" he asked, in that deep, gravelly voice Dean Winchester did _not_ swoon over. No way! He kept a grip on himself as he continued to stare at the, apparently, oblivious actor.   
  
A shorter, blonde haired man came up behind Castiel and slapped an arm over his shoulders and leaned around his body to grin at Dean.   
  
"We've been trying to teach this bonehead about personal space since we were kids. My baby bro just doesn't seem to catch on so...no offense meant, okay man?"   
  
Dean's eyes widened even further, if that was possible, and his mouth dropped in disbelief. He attempted to speak and had to clear his throat before he could succeed.   
  
"You...you two are _brothers_?" He asked incredulously. He saw Castiel's eyes roll up to the ceiling in exasperation before he closed them.   
  
"Good job, Gabe...way to keep a secret."   
  
"Awww...come on man. It's just you that thinks it should be kept secret. And anyway, I'm sure this Adonis here won't tell anyone...right?"   
  
Dean didn't even need to look around him before he answered. "Sure thing, man, I won't tell a soul but uh...I can't promise for any of the yahoos around us currently uploading their phone vids to youtube..."  Gabe's eyes widened as he took in their surroundings, then looked back at his brother, letting his arm slip off his back.   
  
"Uh, right...so...I got a panel to...uh...think I'm gonna be late so I'm...just...gonna go...before Cassie here kills me."   
  
Before Dean could blink, Gabe had disappeared. Castiel opened his eyes and twisted to look behind himself for a second, until Dean spoke and brought his attention back to the front.   
  
"Wow...Gabriel sure is...something...else, I guess? Dude, was he _afraid_ of you?" Dean stared at Castiel in awe. Castiel sighed.   
  
"Gabriel is known as "The Trickster" on the set for a reason...he's forever running away from his fellow co-stars because of the pranks he pulls." Dean blinked at the air quotes he watched the dark haired man make as he spoke, and tried not to smile at how adorable it made him. Attempting to keep himself from staring at the hot actor, he grasped at straws and spoke again:   
  
"Uh...So that reputation is more than just a rumor, I take it?"   
  
"As much as we all would wish it were, I'm afraid so."   
  
There was silence then as the two of them stared at each other. Dean wondered why the man was still there. It was probably going to be the highlight of his day, at this point, but still, why was he standing there, talking to him? He was wondering how to make his escape when Castiel gestured at the book that Dean was still holding, forgotten, in his hands.   
  
"I saw you drawing. I was wondering if it would be all right to take a closer look?" Dean searched his face for signs of ridicule and nervously shifted from one booted foot to the other. He raised a hand and rubbed the back of his head as he stammered.   
  
"Um...I'm...I'm...uh...I'm just a mechanic, and um...I'm...this is just a..a hobby. 'm not very good, actually." He mumbled that last, eyes downcast, his glasses slipping down his nose a bit. He noticed, finally, that his phone was sitting on the floor and he bent to pick it up and place it back into his pocket.   
  
"Oh...I, what I saw was very good. I'm sure that..." Castiel rushed to assure but was quickly interrupted by a shout from across the hall...   
  
"CASSIE! You're going to be late, my good man, now stop flirting with the hot kid and get moving!"  Castiel blushed hard and looked mortified as he glanced behind him. Dean could see another of his co-stars, the ever inappropriate Balthazar, hanging out of the doors of the main panel room, Gabriel hiding behind him with a grin and waggling his eyebrows at Castiel and Dean suggestively.   
  
Castiel looked back towards Dean again. "I meant it, I'd really like to see your work." He dug into his pockets and produced a card. "Maybe we could meet up later for a drink, or , or something and you could show me then?"   
  
In a daze, Dean took the card, neither agreeing or not, and watched the handsome and awkward actor turn and rush off through the double doors, followed by his costars. He looked down at the card that held Castiel's phone number on it.   
  
Did that...just happen? What the hell?! 


	2. No, Wait! Don't Watch That!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his encounter with Cas which left him just a bit off balanced, Dean joins Jo and Charlie for an...informative trip to a local diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have discovered i'm just as terrible at story and chapter titles as i am at summaries. because, lets face it, those are just even shorter summaries. Just for a note, I also suck at Twitter. I'm apparently too long winded for the restrictions of characters.

Dean met Jo down in the lobby at noon as planned, still in a bit of a daze. He snapped out of it when he noticed she wasn't alone. A red head had followed her through the double doors dividing the hotel lobby from the west wing and continued on right over to where Dean was waiting. He looked at her, then back to Jo. Jo lifted her head defiantly and gave him a smug smile.   
  
"Dean, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is the brother I never wanted, Dean."   
  
"Yo!" the red head grinned, totally at ease as she held out her hand for Dean to shake. "So I hear lunch is on the menu?" Jo rolled her eyes.   
  
"Yeah, I think Dean here has his eye set on someplace already, so, lead the way Dean." Dean nodded, turned without a word and pushed out of the hotel with Jo and Charlie following. Seriously, Jo disappeared because she'd found a hook up? _And didn't tell him_? He glanced behind him at the two girls following him, Charlie talking animatedly about something. Huh, he thought to himself. And she stuck around...   
  
It didn't take long to make it to the diner and get seated. The two girls sat close together on one side of the booth and Dean on the other, with his backpack next to him against the wall. It didn't take long to order, and soon they were just killing time waiting for their food to arrive.   
  
"So what have you been doing all morning?" Jo finally asked. Dean opened his mouth, hesitated and glanced over at Charlie uncertain. He wasn't the type to confide, but when he did, it was always to Jo. They'd grown up together, their families were pretty close and she was like a sister to him. But he didn't know Charlie and was still kind of embarrassed about earlier. And stressed. Should he call Castiel? He closed his mouth and worried at his lip for a second.   
  
"Oh, not much. Just wandering around the convention...people...watching. And stuff." he finished lamely. Jo narrowed her eyes at him. He managed to refrain from wincing at the look she aimed his way. She wasn't buying it. She knew something had happened and he was just a little off balance. The two had a stare off while he heard Charlie tapping away on her phone.  He flicked a glance at her, then settled his eyes back on Jo and mouthed "Later." She frowned at him, but leaned back, accepting it for now.

The food arrived and the three of them ate with gusto. Dean found himself liking Charlie. He could see her being another sister to him. And hey, if she and Jo actually tried to make a go out of a one night stand and succeeded, then she would be. The ice between them was adequately broken when Star Wars had been brought up and then veered, as it usually did when Dean was in the conversation, to Castiel Novaks new film series. With, apparently, his brother. What was up with that?

Jo just rolled her eyes when Dean managed to steer the conversation that way, though Charlie didn't seem to mind. She even knew trivia about the movies Dean hadn't known and he hung on her every word, prompting Jo to laugh.

"God Dean, your crush on Castiel is just too adorable!" Charlie paused in her latest tidbit, her eyebrow raising, giving her a very Spock-like look. Dean flushed red and grumbled.

"I do _not_ have a crush on him, Jo! He's…just…a very good actor. His movies are good. You have to admit that." She shrugged, a mischievous light in her eyes. She only had a few rules in life, but one of them was: You never pass up a chance to tease Dean Winchester. Which Sam was all aboard for, and she was sure if Charlie hung around, she'd see the merits of that rule as well.

"Oh sure, Dean. His movies are wonderful…but I don't see them in the theater 10 times before buying it on dvd…"

"Jo….that was _once_! And it was the best in the series!"

"Technically speaking, that was 10 times…" She giggled. He glared at her. Charlie was smothering a grin behind her hand in an attempt to be polite.

"Wait, wait, which one was it? Oh don't tell me! I bet it was number 4, right? Fall From Grace?" She leaned over the table excitedly. "That was, in my not so humble opinion, the _best_ movie he's ever done, _and_ one of the best out there."

"Right? See Jo! Even Charlie agrees with me. Charlie, congratulations, you get to replace Jo as my newest best friend. 'Cause unlike Jo, you have awesome taste. I had to bribe her just to come to this con."  Jo stuck her tongue out at him.

"Whatever Dean, just because I'm not obsessed like you are, doesn't mean you can back out of your promise."  He waved a hand at her dismissively as Charlie's phone chirped like a Star Trek communicator. She leaned back to sneak a quick look at it as he spoke.

"Yeah yeah, you'll get your replacement knife in a couple of weeks, okay? I went to the link you sent me and ordered it already and everything."  Jo squealed happily and almost bounced in the booth, the most excited Dean had seen her in a long time. Suddenly, Dean found himself with a face covered in soda as something Charlie was looking at on her phone caused her to spit her drink out across the table. She covered her mouth in horror.

"Oh shit dude, I'm so sorry Dean! I just…you wouldn't believe what…I could _swear_ this is you in this video that was sent to me. It's from the con, from this morning."  Dean froze instantly in midst of the task of wiping the sticky soda off his face.

"Ooooh, does Dean have a doppelganger? Let me see…" Jo eagerly leaned over to view Charlie's phone and quickly yelled, "OH MY GOD DEAN….OH MY GOD…."

Dean winced and dropped his face to the diner table, banging his head and covering it with his hands, groaning.

"Wait, so…that _is_ Dean? I thought it was, but I mean, not like I know you guys very well and all – Wait! Oh my god! But this means…so _you_ are the guy Cas has the hots for?" Dean whimpered quietly as Charlie babbled loudly. Jo finally recovered from her speechlessness and took Charlie's phone so she could watch the whole video from start to finish, making commentary the whole while.

"Do you know how long he stood behind you? Oh he's looking at your sketchbook – you never show anybody your sketchbook! What'd he think of it? Ooooh…nice reflexes Dean." She laughed wickedly. "So _you_ met Castiel Novak, the actor you've been crushing on since forever and you told me _nothing_ happened today? You seriously need your idea of "nothing" redefined. Wait, what was that he gave you? He gave you a card – what was on it? Did he ask you out? Did he go to a panel and you didn't follow? Why didn't you follow? Awwww Dean, were you speechless?? Tongue-tied like a giddy fan girl?"  
  
Oh god, was Jo _ever_ going to stop? He thought, continuing to thump his head on the table. A set of hands caught his forehead before the next thump and made him look up. Charlie was beaming at him, all sorts of happy; Jo was caught between stunned and sly. Mostly stunned. The sly would come back quick though and he'd be tormented for the next couple of months, he was sure of it. Oh God, if she told his _brother_ he'd never live it down.

"Cas _did_ give you his number. I made those cards myself. Are you gonna call him? It would make my best friend happy if you did." Jo swiftly turned to look at Charlie, jaw briefly dropping.

"You're his best friend?" Jo and Dean asked simultaneously, both stunned at the revelation. Seriously, what were the odds of Jo's hook up being friends with the same actor Dean did _not_ have a crush on ( _thank you very much_!)? Dean just stared at Charlie, unsure what to say, just as much as he had been unsure of whether to call the actor or not.

"I'm…um….I don't….Why would he….me??"  Dean's attempts to gather his thoughts had definitely failed and he flushed red again in embarrassment. Smooth, Winchester, real smooth. What had happened to his charm? His quick wit? His confidence?  Jo was watching the video again and she spoke slowly, thoughtfully.

"Dean, I think you should go for it." Charlie nodded vigorously in agreement with Jo's assessment.


	3. He Let The Cas Out Of The Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of the story so far from Cas's perspective - mostly happening at the same time as chapters 1 and 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to concentrate when your husband is nattering on in the background but he's not actually talking to you.  
> also, yes, that title is hoooooorrible. but i couldn't think of anything else so i took a line from the chapter instead.

Castiel found himself in the main panel hall for the VIP panel before he knew it. He itched to take the phone out of his pocket, but that would be unfair to the people who'd paid extra for his and his co-actors time. Besides, it had only been 5 minutes since he left the man – oh god, he didn't even know his name! – his phone number. He probably wouldn't even get a call. He shook his head and tried to focus. Panel. Not the gorgeous artist outside the room.

The next 2 hours were almost a literal agony. It usually was for him anyway, but he put on a good show – Actor! – and most of his fans never knew the difference. He did get his usual prompts from his brother and Balthazar. They'd long since worked out visual cues for Castiel to pick up on. Like when he was standing too close, or he should stop talking about whatever he was talking about. They didn't, always, give him his cues, or at least, not right away. Gabriel loved to see his little brother flounder in his awkwardness.

Speaking of, Castiel repressed a sigh of relief at the thought that at least no one in this room knew that his biggest secret had been spilled. He was a very private man and a proud one. He'd changed his name back when he decided to start his acting career. Nearly all his family were performers of one sort or another, and he'd wanted to earn his own place on his own merits. Gabriel often argued that he'd done that already and that he was just keeping up the pretence for its own sake. Balthazar said he was just going for that air or mystery to keep his fans intrigued.

Castiel believed it was more simply that it was familiar. Like wearing ratty tatty, but comfortable clothes that had outlived their usefulness but you couldn't quite bear to get rid of. He had that habit as well. Gabe had posted that picture of him in holey jeans during a break in filming last year and he'd gotten a lot of teasing for looking like a hobo. For some reason, the fans had thought it adorable.

Somehow, he made it through the next two hours without any incidents or scenes though with Gabe and Balthazar around, there was plenty of goofing off. It certainly kept the fans entertained and they didn't even have to put up an act, something he was maybe, if he admitted it to himself, just a little jealous of. They headed back to the Green Room for a break between panels and to get something to eat. Finally ensconced in a chair in the corner with some food and a little alone time, he pulled out his phone and started tapping out some messages.

_::Charlie, I think I did something stupid::_

_::Hey Cas! Talk to me!::_

_::So…the internet may, or may not know that Gabe and I are related.::_

_::REALLY??? How did that happen?::_

_::He was teasing me when I was talking to an artist I saw in the hall today. I was apparently being inappropriate again. And it slipped out::_

_::So you spilled the beans? Let the CAS out of the bag?::_

_::Charlie, no. My assbutt of a brother did.::_   Castiel paused and frowned at his phone, then typed out another message.

_::Let the CAS out of the bag? Honestly?::_

_::Never mind that. If your brother spilled the beans…than to what are you referring to??::_

_::Never mind.::_

_::Cas….what happened? OMG the artist – is he hot?::_ Castiel closed his eyes. Charlie was his best friend and confidant but he was unsure how to explain what had happened at all. Yeah, the man was gorgeously attractive, just his type in fact, but there'd been something else about him. And he had enjoyed watching him work, it had been an amazing thing to see. It was something else, just seeing how lost he'd gotten in it, how focused he'd been. From the small portion that he could see from  his vantage point behind the artist, the blonde haired man had had this look of utter contentment on his face and…something else Castiel couldn't quite place.  He'd been standing there a while watching the picture form before the artists focus had been interrupted. Castiel thought that was probably the only reason the artist had even realized he was being watched.

_::Yes.::_

_::And?::_

_::And I might have given him one of my cards and asked to meet up later.::_

_::Seriously? Cas, you never do random meet ups! This guy has to be REALLY hot, amirite?::_

_::I think I scared him off. He seemed a little upset with me when we first met. But I didn't get much of a chance to talk with him and he hasn't even tried to call yet.::_

_::Why was he upset Cas? What did you do?::_

_::I'm not sure. I think I was in his personal space…::_

_::Cas…if you could see me, I'd be shaking my head and rolling my eyes.::_

_::Thanks for your support Charlie, I knew I could count on you.::_

_::Careful Cas, your sarcasm is overwhelming…::_

An arm fell across his shoulders as a body jumped into his lap, startling Castiel into dropping his phone. Gabe smirked at him as Castiel started shoving and attempting to get his brother off of him. Gabe wriggled and clung. It was like trying to pry off an overly clingy octopus. Every time he got a limb off him, another snaked around and made another grab.

  


"Casssssieeee…..come and play with us! Stop being so anti social back here in the corner!"

"Gabriel, I'm at a convention. My schedule alone means I'm not anti social. I need a few minutes downtime at least."

"Aaaaaand you've had it! I left you alone for a good 15 minutes! That was torture…pure torture!"

"You exaggerate, now get off of me." Gabriel pouted at his brother but slid off none the less and dropped into a chair nearby. Castiel raised an eyebrow as his brother got uncharacteristically serious for a moment.

"Seriously bro, I wanted to apologize for this morning. I don’t know what happened. You know as much as I joke around, I always keep my promises. But, hey, in my opinion, I really don't think you should worry. You've earned your scars _and_ your parts. People looking to cast you, are only looking at you. Not dad, or me, or any of the others.  You're already getting by on your own merits and you're doing it well! We're all proud of you Cassie. I don't think you need to worry so much." Castiel looked at his brother in shock. Were they…having a moment?

"Thank you, Gabe. This…means a lot."

"Of course, everyone's gonna wanna know _where_ you came from since you obviously don't have _my_ good looks and charm….or dads for that matter. Or our sisters…or…"

Castiel hung his head and groaned. And….moments over.


	4. Taking A Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wrestles with himself about contacting Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes...so...super short chapter? Sorry! It just felt like the right spot to break.

Dean stared at his phone. Was he really going to do this? Why would a famous actor want to hang out with him? But he'd asked, so obviously he did. And Charlie seemed cool and she and Dean got along allright. He hadn't seemed to bore her. And if she was friends with Castiel then, maybe she knew what she was talking about.

  


_"Seriously, I think the two of you have a lot in common from what I can tell so far. You'd get along great! You should totally do it. I suggest getting drinks down at the hotel bar, it's surprisingly good, despite the whole nautical theme. This is one of the neatest little hotels I've ever been to. Did you know that it used to be a family summer home? That’s why there are so many odd little rambling areas and weird little nooks and crannies and …O-kay…I'm babbling again. Shutting up now…" She laughed a little awkwardly._  
  
_Jo handed Charlie her phone back and then looked over at Dean. She grinned at him and shrugged._

_"Yeah, and don't forget to bring your sketchbook. He was obviously very interested in that. What were you drawing anyway?"  Dean flinched back, reflexively grabbing at his backpack as though he suspected Jo would take it and start pawing through it. Though, it wasn't far from the truth. She'd gone into his bags before and she was eyeing it now like she was about to do the same._  
  
_"Oh! Do you draw? I like to doodle, but I'm not very good. Can I see? I'd love to see…" Charlie was very enthusiastically in his face and Dean drew back with a look of consternation on his face._

_"No!" he pulled the backpack closer to him and eyed Jo suspiciously. Charlies face crumbled._

_"Oh man, why not? Wait, are they dirty drawings?" He looked at her in horror as Jo snorted. "What?"_

_"No….not…." Jo interrupted herself, trying to hold in the laughter, but bits escaped anyway. "Oh no…that’s not what…not why he…" the blonde snickered again as Charlie looked between her and the glaring Dean perplexedly. "Dean just…doesn't show anyone his drawings. Too insecure about them, I guess."_

_"JO!"_

_"Oh, come on Dean! I've seen your books – " His eyes widened " – and the art, it's really good. I know you wanted to go to art school and for some reason I never understood, you didn't."_

_"Jo, we're not talking about this again…and when did you get into my books?"_

_"I'm your annoying little sister remember? I went snooping. If it makes you feel better, Sam tried to stop me."_

_"Yeah, not all that much, thanks." He grumbled. Charlie watched the exchange with wide, understanding eyes._

_"It's okay Dean. I know I'm a complete stranger so you don't have to show me your artwork if you're not comfortable with it. But…you might want to reconsider that with Cas, he seemed to really like what you were working on. I don't think you need to worry about any sort of judgment if...if that’s what you're afraid of? And anyway, he's already sorta seen it so…" She trailed off, a little unsure as she watched Dean clutch at his bag protectively._

He broke out of his little reverie and opened the texting app. It would be way easier this way, less awkward to text then to call, he was sure. He bit his lip as he tried to think of what to say. He composed it carefully for once, hoping that by concentrating on proper spelling and all that, it could help get his thoughts in order.

_::Hey, this is Dean. We met this morning when I was drawing. You said you wanted to meet up?::_

Heart pounding for reasons he couldn't quite understand completely, he pressed send.


	5. Of Bar Room Brawls - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This date - was it a date? - didn't turn out like anyone expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - not sure about this? I mean, the violence is more implied here than anything? and its basically right at the end. there's going to be more in the next chapter, but even then I don't think it will be all that graphic.

Castiel was nervous. He refused to let it show, but he was nervous. He was hanging out in the bar attached to the hotel with Gabriel and Balthazar who had refused to let him go alone, but had 'promised' to back off when…or if…Dean arrived. He wondered if he'd bring the sketchbook. He hadn't dared bring it up in the texts arranging this meet up, but he hoped that he would.

And…there he was. Dressed much as he'd been this morning in boots, dark blue jeans, a black tee with an AC/DC logo on it and a blue and white button up draped over it. Backpack on his shoulder, glasses framing brilliant green eyes, and short cropped, spikey blonde hair. He fidgeted a little as he stood in front of Castiel before sliding the backpack off his shoulder and settling into a chair.

"Uh, hi." His hand went up and rubbed at the back of his neck for a second before he seemed to realize what he was doing and brought it back down.

"Hello Dean." Castiel beamed at him. Dean had come. Oh god, now what? There was silence for a minute or two before Castiel finally broke it. "Uh…do you...want a drink?" Dean looked relieved at the question.

"Yeah, that'd be great." He exhaled as Castiel waved over a waitress; he opened his mouth then paused and looked over at Dean.

"Um…do you have any preferences, or would you be willing to trust me?"

"Oh, uh, just beer, nothing heavy for me tonight if you don't mind?"

Castiel reflected that was an odd way to put it but agreed. He preferred beer anyway and ordered for both of them, as well as a big plate of fries to go with. After she left, he turned back to Dean and eyed the backpack for a few seconds before asking,

"Is it too much to be hopeful that you did bring your sketchbook with you?" Dean turned red, the color barely visible in the subdued lighting of the bar, but he nodded. His hand twitched toward the bag, then back again. He looked over at Castiel.

"Look, I don't know why you even want to look at this…I'm really, like I said, not very good. I just…enjoy it. I mean…it's just a hobby, y'know? And um…I never actually…really showed anybody, before. On purpose I mean.  I found out today my sister has been snooping through my stuff."

"Oh I have that issue a lot myself. With as many siblings as I had when growing up, I never had any privacy." Castiel spoke sympathetically. "But honestly, from the little that I saw, it was really very good. I've always been interested in art, I'm just…incapable of it myself. So I express myself in other ways." They stared at each other, green eyes meeting blue, when drinks were placed in front of them and the plate of fries between them, causing them to look away and down. "Please, help yourself." Castiel grabbed a fry from the plate and pushed it a little closer to Dean.

"Thanks man."

A few tables away, Balthazar and Gabriel sat, forgotten by Castiel as they watched the two men drink and talk. Eventually Dean reached into his backpack and scooted around the table to be on the same side as Castiel as they flipped through the pages of a book. They couldn't see the range of expressions on the men's faces from here, but Gabriel was enthusiastically hopeful about how things were going.

  
  


"You are way too invested in your brothers' love life, I hope you know?" Balthazar remarked to Gabriel.

"What, I can't want my little bro to be happy?"  Gabriel asked defensively. Balthazar raised an eyebrow, then this drink. "Okay fine, if he's happy, mom will get off my case."

"Ah, now that sounds more like the Gabriel I know."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He waved it away and went to the bar to refresh his own drink with several more. For such a small bar, it was pretty crowded and therefore loud so he didn't pay much attention to the disturbance starting  a few feet away as he made his way back to his table with a handful of drinks.

"Oh Gabe, you shouldn't have."

"You're right, I shouldn't. These are alllll mine." He laid them out on the table and Balthazar winced after getting a closer look.

"On second thought, I'm glad you didn't. Those look sickening…How do you stomach those concoctions?"

"I have a really fast metabolism my friend." Gabe winked and started downing the drinks before looking back over at his brothers table. He almost spit the drink back out. "Uh oh…"

"What?" Balthazar followed his gaze to see that the artist Cas was talking to was packing up and standing – a little unsteadily as a matter of fact – and getting ready to leave. "Are you thinking Cassie scared him off?" Gabe put his drink down and watched uncertainly.

"I'm…unsure. They don't either of them _look_ unhappy."  Gabe spoke slowly, thoughtfully. Balthazar opened his mouth but suddenly there was a crash and the normal bar sounds died down to be replaced by yelling and the sounds of fighting.

Before anyone could move, could react, a fight had broken out in the barely empty space between their tables and to the horror of many onlookers, but particularly that of Castiel, Dean had backed away from the table he was sharing with Cas and unwittingly closer to the brawl that was starting. There was a drunk, shy smile on his face as he reluctantly said goodbye, noticing nothing behind him. He only noticed Cas's eyes widen as he started to stand up, reaching an arm out…

"Dean – watch out!"


	6. Of Bar Room Brawls – Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is hurt and goes down and Cas is there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this yesterday evening...i love working in small segments. I think my writing shows best that way (though i'm sorry if the chapters are too short), but i want to get a little further along before I make these chapters public, just so i make sure...
> 
> see, i don't like putting up uncompleted works because i always worry they'll never get completed. And i don't want to be one of those people.
> 
> TW - this is the rest of the violence planned for the story....Do you think it's deserving of the warning?

Castiel was in shock. Everything had seemed to be going so well. A couple of beers in, they'd talked quite a bit, and then he'd actually pulled out the sketchbook. Everything had seemed amazing to him. Portraits of Deans friends and family, of his brothers dog, Bones. There were several beautiful renditions of an equally beautiful, classic car. The pictures were simply breathtaking, but his praise only seemed to embarrass Dean.

A few more beers and Dean reluctantly stood up, packing away his sketchbook. He stood a little awkwardly at the end of their table staring into Cas's eyes. Cas felt like he could stare into Deans green ones forever but tried to look away. Everything had been going well, and he didn't want to scare Dean away. He wanted to get to know him better.

"So, uh…I gotta get going, but uh, thanks man. This has been…a lot of fun." He started to back up a little, reluctant to leave.

"Of course, Dean. I had a lot of fun as well. I'd…like to keep in touch, if I could?" Castiel asked a little uncertainly. Dean had smiled, shyly, looking like he was about to answer, but a strange, sharp movement made Cas look behind him. To his own horror, he couldn't move fast enough. He started to stand, started to reach for Dean as if he could pull him back in time, he just managed to yell out a warning – but that was it.

  
  


The fight that had broken out behind him between two overly muscled gentlemen – Cas was being generous with the term gentlemen – had spilled closer to him and Dean, and Dean was directly in the way. They hadn't even seen him; Dean was just collateral damage as he went down, spun around by the momentum of their missed blows that hit him instead. The back of Deans head slammed into one of the stupidly solid columns of the bar spread around at odd intervals. What had been one of those quirky little things about the small bar earlier, wound up doing the most damage. Even as Dean started to slide down the column, still conscious but obviously not well off, Castiel had managed to lunge for him while Gabe and Balthazar and a host of other people lunged for the two combatants.

Gabriel and Balthazar managed to both get their arms around a man and pull back and away with the help of some of the other patrons of the bar.  They'd be in a lot of trouble for getting involved in this later, but later was not now, and Gabe has seen the look on his brothers' face when Dean finally hit the floor.

"Stop it, for gods' sake! Whatever the hell is wrong between you two, you better damn well _stop_ it and resolve it somewhere else before _anyone else_ gets hurt!"

"Bloody hell, you stupid Yanks! You've done enough damage!"

The two men struggled as Gabriel and Balthazar yelled into their ears, finally yanking both of them around to show them Castiel and Dean on the ground.

"Look what you've already done and stop for the love of God! He's practically a kid and wasn't even involved in whatever stupid shit you two have got going on!" the wrath of Gabriel was nothing to be scoffed at, but neither of the men seemed capable of stopping. 

"Tell me someone is calling the bloody cops?" Balthazar yelled. The bartender raised his hand, a phone already at his ear. A small place like this didn't have a bouncer. It wasn't exactly a club. Castiel called out,

"Better include an ambulance, I don't think….I think that…" he trailed off and looked up worriedly. He didn't want to cause Dean to panic, but he didn't think he was all right. From the force of the blow he took to the column, he was likely to be concussed and he was already drunk beforehand. Castiel didn't think that was a very good combination to start with. But Dean was breathing hard and his hand was holding the back of his head, refusing to let Castiel even look underneath it, much less remove it. That worried him. The lighting in here was too poor to see anything. It'd been hard looking at the sketchbook, but this was worse.  Castiel worried that he was bleeding but couldn't see it with Dean's hand and his hair in the way. Castiel looked at him, his eyes were wide, and unfocused and he'd lost his glasses somewhere in the fall.  


  
  


  
"Dean, talk to me, are you in pain?"  Instead of trying to speak, Dean nodded his head instead, and then whimpered at the influx of pain that caused. "I don't think you should move, Dean. Can you speak?" Castiel wasn't trained for EMT work but he thought he remembered that with head blow victims, you had to keep them talking, keep them conscious. At least until the real EMT's could get there and get any information they needed. And if Dean stopped responding to the questions, that wouldn't be a good sign.  Dean grimaced and closed his eyes. He looked like he wanted to answer but was afraid to. "Alright, how about one blink for yes, two for no?" Castiel was grasping at straws.  Dean opened his eyes and glared a little, which made Castiel feel a little better. It was still a reaction, and one more in keeping with the Dean he'd been getting to know.

It seemed to take forever to Castiel but was really a fairly quick response time before both an ambulance and the police arrived. The police took the two men down and into handcuffs in short order, but Castiel didn't even spare a glance at them as he worriedly watched the EMT's look at Dean.

"Is he all right?" he asked, trying to stay close to Dean but out of the way for the EMT's. One of them pealed off and pulled Castiel aside.

"Sir, could you tell us what happened?" Castiel nodded his head jerkingly, watching over the EMT's shoulder to see what was happening with Dean. In a distracted manner, he told the events quickly. How Dean had been caught in the crossfire, the blows he'd taken and the final hit on the column and his reactions afterward.

"He's not responding to visual cues..." the EMT that had stayed with Dean called over his shoulder to his partner. The partner looked at Castiel.

"Did you notice anything along those lines?"

"Uh…no. but, it's pretty dark in here and he does wear glasses. I have no idea where they are or how bad his eyesight is already." The EMT nodded and walked back to help his partner. They'd finally pried Deans hand off his head and wrapped it in bandages.

"This is going to need some stitches, these bandages are just to help stop the bleeding. Do you understand?" Castiel strained to her the soft yes Dean breathed out. His breathing had calmed finally, that had to be a good sign. "We're going to take you to the hospital now and make sure you have no internal damage, but you definitely have a concussion. Is there anyone who can come with you?"

"I can go." Castiel volunteered. "Dean, if you give me your phone I can contact your sister for you and she can meet us at the hospital." Castiel was glad that Dean was one to brag about his family, so Castiel at least knew he wasn't at the convention alone. One of the EMT's looked like he was about to object but the second stopped him.  They moved Dean to the stretcher they'd brought in, though he looked like he was about to object that he could walk on his own, they didn't even let him try. As Castiel went to follow, his brother grabbed his arm.

"Cassie, what are you doing?" he hissed. Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm going with him. He shouldn't be alone. At least not until his sister can get there." Gabriel shook his head.

"You're not family, Cassie, there could be issues at the hospital because of that. Hell, you barely know the guy!"

"I'm well aware of that Gabriel, none the less, I am going anyway." Gabriel gave his brother a strange little look.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing."


	7. And Hospital Waits...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The waiting at the hospital is what hell must feel like...and nobody will tell Cas whats going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is a looooong chapter in comparison...It gets a huge chunk of the hospital stuff out of the way, and has a break in the middle for the first time for a character POV change. and then back again. the POV change, while logically a good place to cut it, was such a short segment that I didn't want to do it, and nowhere else FELT right for chopping this up. So, a long chunk it is.

Castiel was in the waiting room for the hospital. He'd known he wouldn't be able to stick very close to Dean, but he was as close as he could get. He had Deans phone and his own and he kept checking both. He'd messaged Dean's sister first but there'd been no answer. He'd hesitated over the other contacts in his list, wondering if he should notify Deans parents even though there was no way they could get here anytime soon. He picked up his own phone and shot a message to Charlie asking her what he should do.  But there was no answer there either.

  
  


He ran his hands through his dark hair and leaned back in his chair. He was glad now more than ever that he hadn’t just left Dean to come to the hospital alone. It was looking more and more like, by the time he was allowed to have visitors, or even leave, Cas might be the only one here. It was after midnight and he knew he had an autograph panel in the morning. Dean wasn’t family, so he wasn't sure he wouldn't get in trouble with his agent and the con if he skipped it, but he didn't want to leave till he at least knew Dean was all right. Even as he had that thought, his phone vibrated, having been silenced as per hospital rules. He hurriedly picked it up, hoping it was Charlie, but it wasn't. His heart sank further.

"Yes Gabe…" he sighed, speaking quietly.

"Cas, are you coming back anytime tonight?"

"I don't think so. I haven't been able to reach Deans sister, Jo…he's alone here. I…wasn't sure. I was going to ask Charlie, but I can't reach her…I don't know how serious any of it is…should I try to call his parents? He doesn't live around here, they can't exactly get here very fast and I don't know if this warrants them coming out or not….and…I don't know Gabe, what do I do?"

"So you haven't heard anything? Not surprising. You know how hospitals are. Maybe….even if they can't tell you his condition, maybe they could tell you if it's serious enough to call his parents? If they say yes or no, that in itself is a clue and would help you know what to do."

"Hmmm…thank you Gabriel, that’s a very good idea." He hesitated, and then raised his eyes to look at the ceiling before he spoke again. "Gabriel…if I don't get back before my….uh…do you think…"

"Yeah, yeah, I can make an excuse so valid that they _can't_ get mad at you. In fact, the con should probably be thankful to you. This could be a lawsuit in the making and you're like, their PR person or something!"

"It's not the cons fault a fight broke out in a public area."

"Maybe not, Cassie, but people these days are sue happy. They have no idea whether or not he'll be the same."

"Hmm…that’s a good point. Thanks Gabriel."

"Sure sure, you owe me! I'll call to collect sometime in the future and you better remember, you can't refuse!" Castiel hung up and then checked to make sure he didn't miss any messages while he was on the phone. Still nothing from Charlie. He checked Deans phone – or from his sister. He didn't know what room they'd been staying in or else he'd try to call her directly, and he was sure the hotel wouldn't just give it to him, in case he was a crazy stalker.

He got up and went to the desk. It was quiet, thankfully, and the nurse attending it was engrossed in paperwork, not another anxious patient or the family of.

"Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but could you tell me anything about Dean Winchesters condition?"

"Are you family?" She gave him a strict, disapproving look.

"No, but his family lives in Kansas and I was trying to decide if I should be calling them about their son. At this time of night…I mean…I don't want to do that if there really isn't anything to worry about." Her face softened a little.

"I can certainly understand that. I honestly don't know the answer to your question though, hon. I think for the most part he seems okay, but there was something the EMTs were worried about that the Doctors have to look at. Could be nothing but…and I really can't discuss it with you either." Castiel deflated a bit, but nodded anyway.

“I understand.” Returning to his seat, he checked both phones again. Nothing. Putting his down he used Deans to call his sister again. At this point, he’d rather get her instead of the parents. Maybe, wherever she was, if the phone just kept ringing, she’d have to answer it. Unless she’d turned it off. He sincerely hoped she hadn’t done that.  At what point, he wondered, should he give up and try someone else on his contact list?

“Hey, Jerk. Ya better have a good reason for calling this late…” Castiel started and almost pulled the phone away from his ear to stare at it. _This_ was his sister? Did he misdial somehow?

“Uh…Are you…Jo?” he asked hesitantly.

“Wait, who the hell are you and what are you doing with Deans phone??!!” The sleepy, annoyed voice turned nasty really quickly, Castiel noted.

“I’ve been trying to reach you on behalf of Dean for the last hour…” Now that he had her, he wasn’t sure how to break the news.

“Why? What’s wrong? Is Dean okay? Oh my god, he’s not, is he?” Her voice changed to panic and he hurried to answer her.

“He’s…I think he’s okay, but we’re at the hospital right now. And I’m not family so I can’t get the extent of his injuries. I can tell you what happened, but I haven't been filled in on his condition.”

“Oh shit…has anyone called his parents?”

“I wasn’t sure if I should, or if I needed to? I thought...maybe…you could make that decision once you talk to the nurse at the desk? I didn’t want to worry them if it wasn’t necessary. It’s not like they could get here very fast, am I wrong?”

“No, no you’re not wrong. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Castiel could hear rustling and another voice as she hung up.

*****************************************************************************

Dean listened to the sounds around him. His head was…it hurt _and_ on top of that, it felt…fuzzy. And his vision…there was something wrong with his vision. More than usual, that was. He was trying not to panic, trying to remember what happened. Everything was so dark…were his eyes even open? He swung his head around slowly, trying to take in something. Eventually he realized he was seeing vague lights and shadows, but nothing else, and that someone was trying to get his attention.

“Mr. Winchester, can you answer me? What are you seeing? How much pain are you in? Other than your head, does anything else hurt?”  He frowned. He’d answered these questions before, hadn’t he?

“Hello? Who’s there? Why’s it so dark?”

“Can you see _anything_ at all, sir?”

“Um….” He squinted and looked around until he found something he could focus on. He pointed. “Its…not as dark over there, but I can’t see…I can’t…oh god…I can’t see, can I?”

“It doesn’t appear so, Mr. Winchester, but don’t panic. Your vision doesn't seem to be completely gone, just not enough to function at this moment, but that does help us diagnose the problem. It also give us hope that the issue is temporary. We just need to wait for the swelling in your skull to go down. You’ll need to be prepared, though, it could take a while. Before I continue, I do need you to answer these other questions so we can ascertain your current condition.”

Dean groaned, trying to concentrate on the Doctors – doctor? Or maybe Nurse? He couldn't see them, and they hadn't introduced themselves either – words. Even though he couldn't really see, he found himself squinting his eyes down in concentration, trying to remember what he'd been asked. He'd asked if there was pain anywhere else, right? Okay, that would be easy enough to answer.

"I..uh…I'm a little sore around my ribs but…not too bad. Not like the time I broke a couple." The man in the room hmmmd a bit and Dean heard something scratching. Probably a pen, he thought. "Uh…my face? A little? Right by my jaw…but that’s not too bad either. To be honest, the pain in my head is drowning everything else out. And I feel…I don't know how to describe it…fuzzy? Not quite…all here?" The longer he talked, the easier it was to think, though he still felt like he was wading through molasses and the more he noticed how slurred his words were.

"All right, well, we're sending you in for some scans of your head, to be sure, but we've got you down as having a concussion, so you'll have to be real careful for the next few weeks, most especially the first few days though. And you had quite a gash on the back of your skull, but that’s been stitched up. You've lost some blood, so we've replaced that and we had to be careful with your pain medication dose since you were quite drunk when you were injured. That probably accounts for the fuzzy feeling you've got right now. You're almost done with the IV of liquids and antibiotics, and then we'll roll you away to see inside your skull. That should tell us how bad the swelling might be and we may be able to give you an estimate on your sight."

 

*****************************************************************************

"- and that’s what happened." Castiel finished telling Jo, and apparently Charlie – when did she get mixed up in this? – what had occurred earlier in the bar and Jo wiped a hand down her face, groaning.

"I'm never letting him live this down. Taken out by two measly guys in a bar room brawl. Pathetic! Dean knows how to take care of himself. This should never have – should never have been _able_ to happen." Castiel watched as Deans sister tried to put on a brave front. Finally, she shook her head and headed to the nurses' station. She'd had to wait for the nurse to finish with someone else. The only reason she'd stopped and listened to Cas's tale first. Charlie stayed behind with Castiel and he just looked at her.

"What?!" she asked defensively. "I met Jo yesterday and we kinda hit it off, okay? Then we hung out some today and I even met that Dean fellow you were pining after – " "I was _not_ pining – " he tried to interrupt. " – _totes_ pining for, don't deny it! And uh…we were kinda just done hitting it off again when you interrupted my me time and she needed a ride so, I gave her one."  She blurted in one breath. Castiel wasn't even sure what to respond with when Jo came stomping back.

"Sonuvabitch!" she started digging in her jeans for her phone and dropped into a chair with a glare over at the nurses station.

"What happened, what did she say? Was it bad news?" Castiel was unable to get his mouth open, but Charlie thankfully asked the questions pounding on the inside of his skull.

"She won't tell me anything." She stabbed at her phone and held it to her ear and waited.

"But…you’re his sister?"

"Not by blood we're not. Dammit! I – Oh Sam! Thank God…I need to talk to you. Yes, it's important. No, I'm not pranking you, dammit! Shut up and listen! It's about Dean. I'll tell you if you stop! Listen, we're in your neck of the woods, Dean's in the hospital – I don't know! They won't talk to me. No, I haven't called your parents. Or mine. Don't think we should just yet. Yes, that’s the one. Okay, okay…yeah, sure, see you then."  She dropped the phone into her lap and then looked up into the concerned faces of Charlie and Cas.

"Look, you guys, you don't need to stay any longer. I appreciate –and I'm sure Dean does too – all that you've done to help, and as soon as we know something, I'll be sure to text Charlie and she can pass it on?" Jo looked at Charlie to be sure that was okay. Charlie nodded vigorously.

"Hell yeah! I mean, I'm his new best friend right? Sure thing!" Jo smiled at her in relief.

"Look Cas, I, I know who you are and I know you have obligations at this thing, and I'm sure Dean wouldn't want you to get into trouble on his account. No matter how well you two hit it off, you still only met today and I'm sure there isn't any excuse that you can make that would even make sense for not continuing with the con."  Castiel sighed and nodded.

"You're right, but I most definitely would like to see Dean as soon as…well as soon circumstances allow. If he wants to, I mean. I was…hoping he'd want to uh…keep in touch, at the least?" Cas finished awkwardly. Jo reached up and gave him a hug.

"Don’t worry, its okay. I'm sure Dean will be cool with it too." She let go and stepped back. "And if he's not, as soon as he's better, I'll kick his ass." She beamed as she startled a laugh out of the two of them. She turned and gave Charlie a hug as well, which Charlie returned enthusiastically. "Seriously though, don't worry. I'm here now, and his brother – by blood, I promise! – is on his way. So hopefully, we'll know what's going on soon and I can send you guys progress reports."

"Awesome. In that case, let's go Cas, before your brother kills us…." Reluctantly, but knowing he had no real right to stay, Castiel followed Charlie out of the hospital, with one last glance behind him at the blonde haired girl that claimed Dean as family.


	8. There's Always A Silver Lining (Even If You Refuse to Acknowledge It)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam arrives and has a heart to heart with Dean...or attempts to, at any rate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Around here is where I'm starting to flounder. I know that you're not watching me put this up in real time...i'm going to attempt to see if i can get it completed or near completion before these drafts expire. I know sort of what i want, but not entirely how to get there, or how to gracefully end it. and that's why the flounder. BUT I'm still going strong since I started 2 days ago, so I'm happy about that.

  
  


"Holy Shit Dean, how are you feeling?" Dean opened his eyes at the sound of his brother's voice, though it didn't make much difference. He swiveled his head in the direction of the sound anyway and squinted as if that could help at all. It didn't.

"Sam? What are you doing here?"

"Closest living relative. Would you rather it be mom and dad?" Sams voice was closer now, right next to his head and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Shit…this is gonna suck." Dean grumped. "I'm gonna have to let Jo drive Baby so we can get home."

"Really Dean? Is that what you're worried about?"

"Hey, it’s a real worry. I can't keep an eye on anything she does and I have to blindly trust Jo with my car. You know I've never let her drive Baby before! She could crash us, and then me being worried about my sight would be real moot, wouldn't it?"  A sigh from Sam, then the hand left his shoulder and he heard some rustling and scraping and he figured his brother must have pulled a chair closer so he could sit down.

"Have you talked to the doctors?"

"Well, he didn't introduce himself, so I have to go on the assumption he was a doctor, but yeah. Said this could be temporary. But that it could take a while for me to recover and even when I do, there could be…side effects."

"Like what?"

"Headaches, nausea, dizziness…poor balance and…other stuff. I don't remember. Christ, my head hurts."

"Shit…Jo told me what happened. How the hell did anyone get the drop on you?"

"Jo's here? How come I haven't seen her?"

"Closest living relative, remember? She's not really our sister." Dean grunted in response.

"Wait, how'd she know….?"

"Uh, I think she said…but I must have misheard…that Castiel Novak came with you to the hospital and used your phone to call her." Dean smirked at the audible tone of disbelief.

"Oh yeah, Cas…shit, is he still here?"

"Um, no? Wait, seriously? Why would a famous actor come to the hospital with you? Dean, you didn't!?"

"What? No! We had a few drinks at the bar and talked…I was actually on my way out when…well, I guess I was just a little too drunk and…uh…maybe a little distracted…when uh…." Dean trailed off embarrassingly. Sam started laughing.  "Oh shut up, bitch!"

"Jerk." Sam stopped laughing but couldn't hold in the snickering that occasionally broke out.

"So when can I leave?" Dean finally asked when the silence became too much for him.

"Soon. They need to finish some paperwork. The alcohol has worked its way out your system so they can give you better pain meds now, and they took all the tests they needed to. You're all stitched up, and we've got instructions on what to watch out for with a concussion. So...once you're out of here, I'll just drive the two of you back to the hotel so you can pack up your stuff and get started on your road trip back to Lawrence. Word of advice, I'd call mom and dad from the road and warn them what's going on before you get home." He paused. "Better yet, sooner than that."

"Oh man, Bobby's gonna kill me…I'm not gonna be able to work at the garage for who knows how long…"

"Dean…" Sam paused again…"This could be a blessing in disguise."

"Whaddya mean Sam?"

"Well, I mean, you're a good mechanic, and you enjoy it and all, but I know that's not your dream."

"Whats that got to do with anything?"

"Well, when your sight comes back - and it will, I'm sure of it! -  the potential side effects could be dangerous in that line of work. Poor balance? Dizziness? Can you imagine dropping an engine on yourself, or if you stumble and fall into a sharp implement? It wouldn't just be a freak accident; it would be an accident waiting to happen every second of every day…" he trailed off. Dean could just imagine the sad, worried, puppy dog eyes Sam was throwing at him right now. Dean swallowed, then in a rough voice he answered.

"Sam stop. I'm not…I'm not going to think about that right now. I might not even have those side effects. The doc didn't say it was a sure thing…just that it could happen. And I'm…" Ignore the hitch in his voice, ignore it Sam, "not going to get my hopes up, all right?"

"Sure Dean, whatever you say." Sam said softly.


	9. Meanwhile, Back At The Hotel...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas plods through his day before Charlie can rescue him with news, and then she attempts to scheme.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I continue to suck at summaries. My apologies. I wonder if i should even bother putting summaries on these chapters since they're all pretty short?

If Castiel had thought getting through Saturday just waiting to see if Dean would contact him was torture, it was nothing compared to how his Sunday panels were going. He’d barely slept to begin with, having been at the hospital for a good part of the wee hours of the morning. Couple that with real worry on how Dean was _actually_ doing and a little bit of guilt that he’d gotten hurt at all, as unreasonable as that guilt was, and he was a fine mess.  He just hoped he was hiding it well. He'd be a piss poor actor if he couldn't, he sighed.

“Cassie, c’mon, you can’t seriously be feeling at all guilty about what happened.” It was scary sometimes how well Gabe could read him. At least, he hoped that was it, and not his own inability to hide behind a stoic mask. “It was as much _not_ your fault as it was _not_ the conventions, or the bars. And you already know that. You already don’t blame them, so don’t blame yourself.”

“I know that Gabriel, you don’t need to remind me.” Castiel said flatly. Balthazar leaned in.

“Judging by your more than normal moodiness, I’d say he does.” Castiel shot him a withering glance and Balthazar shot his hands up in the air. “Fine, I’ll stay out of it. But you know he’s right.”

“Look, I know he’s hot and all, but Cassie, you only met him yesterday.”

“I am aware, Gabriel.” He growled, feeling like a broken record. His phone buzzed and he eagerly grabbed it as an excuse to get away from this conversation. Charlie. Even better. They were supposed to get together after his morning panels. “Excuse me.” Castiel stood up and made his way out of the Green Room to meet up with his best friend. Navigating the halls quickly with fans who wanted to interact with him made his trip longer, but he wasn’t going to be a dick. He may be a little socially awkward, but he was where he was because of the fans, and he could certainly spare some time for them. But it was a little frustrating. He made sure it didn’t show and simply continued his slow progress to Charlie’s room as.

Finally there, he knocked. The door flew open and she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him in. She sat him down on her bed and followed suit beside him. He slumped over, briefly able to relax a little. Cons took a lot out of him to start with, and this one was exceptionally draining.

“You must be dog tired Cas…” he nodded. He eyed her without moving his head.

“Have you heard anything?” She fidgeted a bit, almost reluctant to speak, but nodded. He straightened up and turned to face her fully, leveling his intense gaze on her. “What? What happened?”

“Oh, no, it’s…uh, there’s nothing life threatening, no broken bones…nothing like that!” She laughed nervously. He continued to look at her, waiting. “So um…yeah, he had a concussion and a few stitches but we all knew that was likely.” He nodded, just waiting for her to get to the point. He could tell by the way she was acting that there was something more. “But um…it seems that he um…may be temporarily…blind. Which has gotta suck when you’re an artist…” Castiel sat there, stunned.  His mouth opened and closed a few times before he blurted,

“Blind?!” She nodded and was quick to assure.

“Temporarily! They’re absolutely certain it’s temporary. Something about it being due to pressure to his occipital lobes or, or something like that. Jo wasn’t sure she had remembered the right words. I’ll probably just google it later. But anyway, whatever, they just need to wait for that swelling to go down and he’ll be…mostly fine. The blindness will be gone.” Castiel continued to stare at her.

“Mostly fine? _Mostly?_ ” he closed his eyes and took a breath. He could just imagine what Dean was going through, suddenly unable to do the things he loved. Castiel knew how he’d feel if he suddenly couldn’t act any more. God, he must feel like his life was going to pieces…

"Yeah, I guess there might be some side effects. Jo actually….she said that her and Sam were talking about what the side effects could mean for Dean. You _do_ know that…the art for Dean, it's really just a hobby for him, like he said? He's never pursued it seriously, never taken classes for it, he's pretty much self taught. There's been things, I guess, that have held him back from it as anything but a hobby and they were thinking that…this could be a blessing in disguise for him. A way to give him the push he needs without him feeling guilty about doing what he really wants." Castiel listened to her in surprise.

"I knew he believes it to be a hobby, and he believes he's not very good, but Charlie…the things he can draw, the way he comes alive when he talks of it, when he showed me his work…and it's good! I just, I had no idea he was self taught, he's that good. I could only imagine what he'd be like if he'd ever had formal schooling for it. To not be able to use this talent its…its such a waste." He finished, eyes still wide. Charlie gaped at him and then lunged, startling Castiel, almost causing him to fall backwards off the side of the bed.

"He showed you his work? From what Jo told me, he hasn't showed anyone – _anyone!_ " she stressed, "his work since middle school. Oh my god…what kind of connection do you two even have? Is it soul mates? That’s it! You're soul mates! You two are now my OTP!" Castiel blinked at her, the look he gave her was one she was well familiar with. The "Oh God, you've finally gone off the deep end, haven't you?" look. Most people sent that look her way, not often Castiel, she admitted to herself, but, well, there it was. The look. She waved it away. "Never mind that now. What are you going to do?"

"What am I – what do you mean?" he tilted his head at her in his signature confusion look.

"You know what I mean, Cas! You need to woo your man!" Silence. Seriously, she could swear she heard crickets. "Okay look, Jo said Sam and her are bringing Dean back to the hotel in a few hours. We should meet them downstairs. That way you can see Dean before they leave."

"Leave?"

"Well duh, there's not much of the con left, Cas, and he has a long trip home. Didn't they say they lived in Kansas?" he nodded.

"Lawrence, specifically, yes. But I'm sure Dean wouldn't want to see me right now. Being blind – I'm sure it's an adjustment, and he probably wants to interact with as few people as possible." This time when she lunged for him, Castiel managed to stand his ground, so to speak, and regretted it when she gave him a smack to the back of his head. He gave her a look that cried betrayal.

  
  


"You totally deserved a Gibbs slap for that one. Maybe Dean doesn't want to interact with other people, but I'm sure he'd want to see…er….get a chance to at least say goodbye to you before he left. Come on, at least it doesn’t hurt to ask. I'll ask Jo and she'll ask him and then you'll know."  She watched her friend rub at his eyes before nodding. "Awesome! You won't regret this!" He dropped his hands and narrowed his eyes at her.

"Those sound like famous last words to me." He intoned. She shrugged.

"Meh. Have you ever known me to be wrong? Wait! Don't answer that!"


	10. I'm Han Friggin' Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A somewhat loopy Dean deals the best way he knows - with jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really loving the character interactions i've got going. But are they staying true to themselves? Feedback???
> 
> Oh, oh, so, can you tell me what line exactly am I thinking of from Return of the Jedi? There is a specific line Han Solo says when he's partially blind that Dean is referring to. :D

Sam drove and Jo helped a somewhat heavily medicated Dean in and out of the car. He grumbled and stumbled a bit and turned red. He was about to walk through a hotel full of strangers while learning what it was like to be blind. He was going to make a damn fool out of himself. And he said as much. Jo wasted no time on pity and promptly smacked him on the arm.

"That would have been your head if we didn't have to be careful." She snarked.

"Yeah Jo, thanks. I can totally feel the love." He waited for someone to take his arm and guide him. All he could see was bright and dark patches. Outside, it was apparently a sunny day because nearly everything was bright. And inside the hotel, nearly everything was dark.

"Hey! I'm Han Solo!"

"What, Dean? That doesn't even make sense!" his brothers confused tone would have made him laugh if he wasn't so disappointed that he didn't catch the reference. "I need some context Dean."

  
  


"Pffft, please!" Dean waved his free arm around wildly and smacked something. He pulled it in fast and turned red again "Oh, sorry, I'm sorry…"

"Dean, it's okay, you didn't hit anyone. That was some stupid sign someone left in the middle of the hallway." Dean relaxed at his brothers words. "Now, how are you like Han Solo?" Sam figured distracting a possibly loopy Dean with conversation was the best way to get him back to his hotel room with the least amount of awkwardness and self pity.

"Return of the Jedi…when Han is temporarily blinded from his time frozen as Carbonite? Remember what he says during the fight by the pit? Sam! You remember!"

"Uh no, I'm afraid I don't."

"Jo! You remember, don't you?"

"What?" She sounded a little distracted. "Oh…uh…I guess not, sorry."

"And you people call yourselves Star Wars fans…I need my new best friend. I bet _she_ would remember it!"

"I sure would! What would I remember?" A voice suddenly in front of him that he hadn't expected to be there caused him to jerk backwards, dragging Sam to a halt and making his heart pound.

"Charlie! Tell these ignoramuses why I'm totally Han Solo from Return of the Jedi right now!"

"Duh, because you're temporarily blind?"

"Yes! See! Charlie remembers! You guys just totally lost your nerd cards." A pair of arms encircled him in a warm hug, long hair brushing at his face. Sam let go of his arm and Dean hugged Charlie back.

"Glad to see you're all right Dean. Jo was a mess when I brought her to the hospital. And when Cas told us what happened. God…I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be sorry Charlie, not your fault." She pulled back and their arms dropped. "And thanks. You and Cas both." He hesitated. "Um…"

"He's on his way, Dean-o. He's stuck doing his last obligations to the con, but I can tell him what room to meet us in if you wanted me to?" Sam picked up his arm again and they all started walking. He nodded, flushing red again.

"Yeah, sure, if he wants to, that is. Yeah." He cleared his throat. He could feel Sam shaking beside him. Well, at least the bitch wasn't laughing out loud. Dean would totally elbow him if it didn't mean Sam retaliating in some way, like maybe leaving him somewhere on his own. Oh god, that was a worry now. Being left alone somewhere unfamiliar…Dean had a sinking feeling that he'd be spending the next _week –_ minimum - just realizing all the different ways this was going to screw him over, or make him look like an incompetent idiot, or simply show him as a helpless baby. Sonuvabitch. This sucked.

They stopped and he heard Jo fumbling with the door before the four of them made their way inside. Sam steered him towards one of the beds and Dean laid down on it, exhausted.

"No falling asleep Dean."  Sam warned. Dean waved a hand dismissively.

"Yeah, I know."

"I mean it Dean. Now I'm going to help Jo pack all the stuff here and bring it down to the Impala. Where are the keys?"  Dean dug into his pocket and grabbed the keys. Clenching his fist around the keys he attempted to glare in his brothers' direction.

"No joyrides Sam."

"Just give me the keys Dean."  Dean tossed the keys in Sams' direction as hard as he could and felt satisfaction when he heard a thump and a yelp, then a clatter as the keys hit the ground. "Real mature." Dean smirked.

"Hey, just goes to prove that even as a blind guy, I can still kick your ass."


	11. Aren't You A Little Tall For A Stormtrooper?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets Sam when he finally meets back up with Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, couldn't resist another Star Wars reference...in and odd, round about way :D
> 
> by the end of this chapter, I have reached over 13,200 words :D

Castiel stood outside the door to the room Charlie had texted him. Why was he so nervous? He should just knock on the door already. He raised a hand and had to draw back quickly as the door opened and he almost hit a giant on the chest. He blinked and looked up. Well, this was a first. He'd never felt quite so short before. Sure, Dean was taller than him, by a couple of inches, but it was a _comfortable_ couple of inches. This man was…just…tall. He blinked again. The man in front of him stuttered to a stop and his mouth dropped open.

"Um…I must have the wrong room?" Castiel started to back away when he heard a voice from within.

"Sam, stop blocking the door and let Cas in." Sam half turned back to the room with a startled look on his face. How had his brother known Castiel Novak was at the door? Castiel leaned around Sam a little to try and see past him.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, Cas, come on in." Castiel straightened back up and looked at the taller man, Sam. This must be Deans brother. He'd talked a lot about him, he remembered. His little brother. This was certainly unexpected. Sam looked back at Castiel and moved to the side for him.

"Sorry man, you uh…took me by surprise. I have to admit, I didn't quite believe Dean _or_ Jo about him hanging out with a famous actor. And um…hey, thanks, for taking care of my brother." He held out a hand and Castiel gravely shook it.

"Of course."

"Hey Dean, I'll be right back, okay?" Sam called back into the room as he picked up a couple of bags he'd had by the door. "Go on in Cas." He left quickly and Castiel stepped inside, allowing the door to shut behind him.  Jo was sorting through drawers, double checking they'd be leaving nothing behind, while Charlie sat across from Dean on opposite beds. She grinned at Castiel when he came in, and he smiled briefly in return as he turned his attention back to Dean.

He was in the same clothes from yesterday, somewhat bloodied down the back, with clean bandages wrapping around his head. At the sound of Castiel moving into the room, Dean turned some in his direction and Cas could see that his bright green eyes were somewhat unfocused.

"Hello Dean."

"Hey Cas…how's your day been going?"

"Probably better than yours. I'm exhausted from dealing with people, but worst of all, my brother. I had to have Charlie rescue me earlier."

"Heh, Gabriel always seemed like he'd be a handful. Sit down Cas," Dean patted the bed beside him. Castiel glared at Charlie's smirk, glad that Dean couldn't see him blushing. Jo did though and she started to giggle. She tried to smother it with a cough but Castiel could tell Dean didn't buy it. For whatever reason, he let it slide. Castiel went over and sat down beside him.

"Thank you Dean."

"Are you always so formal?" Jo asked as she closed another drawer with an air of finality and stepped over to sit beside Charlie.

"It's just his way. You'll get used to it." Charlie waved it off before Castiel could do more than open his mouth.

"I'm not all that formal." He grumped. He felt a hand on his arm and he turned to Dean.

  
  


"There's nothing wrong with the way you talk, Cas.  I, I had a lot of fun last night talking with you." He grinned and Castiel felt an answering smile tugging at his lips. He placed his own hand over Deans and gave it a squeeze of thanks.  If anything, the smile Dean gave him got brighter, nearly taking Castiel's breath away. Who was this man? To have to face blindness for who knew how long and…smile in the face of it?  They sat like that, for how long Castiel had no idea, before Jo tossed clothes at Dean, causing him to flinch back in surprise.

"You might wanna get changed before we get on the road cause, ewwww, you're covered in blood. But no attempting a shower yet. You've got stitches and bandages you can't get wet, you can't see where you're going and you're probably not all there with your medications. That’s gotta be like, the worst trifecta ever and you'd probably slip and fall and give yourself another concussion." Dean pulled the clothes off his head and grimaced.

"Fine, but someone's gotta point me in the direction of the bathroom at least."

"I can help you Dean." Castiel didn't miss how Dean seemed to blush at his words, his freckles almost getting lost in the color.

"Um…thanks man."  Dean carefully stood up, clothes clutched in one hand against his chest and his other still on Castiel's arm. Castiel stood with him and gave him a gentle push in the direction of the bathroom. It took some negotiation between them before they made it there. Castiel went to flip on the light but Dean stopped him. "What's the point? Not like I need it and I hate the sound of the fan. Now scoot."

"Scoot?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna close the door so I can change."

"Oh, oh right. Sorry." Castiel backed out and closed the door behind him, blushing as he went. The longer he spent time in Deans company, the more flustered and confused he seemed to get. He really enjoyed being around him, yet he hadn't even known him very long at all. That was what was so confusing. He tilted his head and stared at the closed door, deep in thought and oblivious to the giggles and whispers behind him.


	12. Driver Picks The Music....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has to trust Jo with the Impala...and the music selection. it can't get any worse than this, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some of you may or may not know i've been adding in pictures after the fact.  
> they're ALL supposed to be quickie sketches. #2 pencils, nothing fancy, just some added fun.
> 
> THIS one, got a way from me. FIRST off, i based it off a picture i found on this tumblr : [Impala](http://elkking.tumblr.com/post/88909820639) Because I thought it would be a fun practice.
> 
> SECONDLY, it did NOT wind up being as quick as i wanted it to be. Not as in depth as if i was doing one of my full on portraits, but as 'clean' as the lines on a car ARE, they are always deceptive and i kept getting trapped in slight curves and concentric circles. 
> 
> I feel as if this really needs to be done up properly, but in the meantime, this is my not so quickie, quickie chapter pic.

Before Dean knew it, they were on their way. Sam had left to go back to his dorm, Castiel and Charlie had left – despite what she'd said earlier, it seemed they still had obligations to the con, and Dean wasn't about to stand in the way of those – and it left just him reluctantly handing the keys over to Jo.

"Do _not_ \- I repeat – do _not_ crash my baby!" his stomach lurched at the idea of someone else, even someone he loved to death, getting behind the wheel of his precious Impala.

"God Dean, it's like you don't trust me or something." Jo rolled her eyes though she knew Dean couldn't see it. She helped him into the car and slammed the door shut before she made her way to the other side and slid in. She took a moment and reverently ran her hands over the steering wheel. She couldn't understand Dean's level of obsession with the car, but it was a damn beautiful machine, and she didn't think anyone else had driven it since it had become Deans. He may not have a choice, but she still felt honored to be trusted with her best friends' most prized possession. She paused at that thought and looked at Dean. Actually, she wasn't sure which was more prized. The Impala, or that jealously guarded sketchbook he always kept with him.

She got the car started and watched Dean relax just a little at the roar of the Impala as it came to life. He might be nervous she was driving, but he was absolutely comfortable in the confines of this car. She shook her head with a little smile and got them moving.

"You might want to make that call now. Get it over with." She glanced to the side at Dean. He sighed.

"Not a bad idea, except I can't see to dial, and you're not going to attempt it while you're driving Joanna Beth!" The sudden panic seemed to roll off him in waves.

"I wasn't going to! I swear!"

"Yeah right…" he grumbled suspiciously.

"First time we stop, for whatever reason, I'll get the phone call started for you. How's that?" He nodded.  Silence fell over them for a time, just the rumble of the car filling the space between them.  He slowly leaned down, a hand out in front of him so he didn't hit his head on the dash as he felt around with the other on the floor of the car.

"What are you doing?" Jo asked, a flicker of her eyes to the side before pulling them back to the road.

"Need some damn music." He mumbled. His questing hand finally found the box of old cassette tapes and he blindly fumbled one out. "Here we go, Mystery Music!"

"Dean, it's not much of a mystery. We _all_ know exactly what you have in that box."

"Well, yeah, but the mystery is which one I picked!"

"Nope. You know the rules Dean-o. Put it back. It's my turn to pick the music." Dean's face paled.

"Oh dear god…"

"No Dean, just call me Jo." She smirked.

Some hours later found Dean absorbed in whatever station Jo had found, listening to music he'd never thought to even try…and liking it. He shuddered at the thought of anyone else finding out that he'd liked - of all things – Taylor Swift.

"This never leaves this car." He stated firmly.

"Sure thing, Dean." If only he could see the wicked grin on her face, Dean would have been quite scared.


	13. Heart to Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While on the road Dean calls his parents, and then he and Jo have a little bit of a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 11/24/15: Just fixed the title of the chapter - please folks, if you see anything obvious, please let me know? I have no beta :( I don't really know anyone on here either.

Sure enough, first stop at a gas station had them filling up, taking a rest break and grabbing snacks before settling back into the car. Before she started it, she grabbed Deans phone and started dialing then put it against his ear until his hand rose up and grabbed it.

"Thanks Jo." He mumbled, his gut was twisted in knots at the conversation he was quite likely about to have. Thankfully, his mother answered.

"Hey sweetie, are the two of you on your way back? Did you visit with Sam while you were there?"

"Hi mom. Um, yes, and yes." Jo turned on the Impala and got them on their way as he spoke.

"Dean, you're not driving while talking on the phone, are you? You know how I feel about that." Dean closed his eyes, though it didn't change much of his view and he spoke around the lump in his throat. Oh, he knew very well his mothers view about anything that could distract while driving. He'd been dealing with the aftermath of what could happen if you were distracted for years now.

"No mom. Jo's driving." There was shocked silence on the other end.

"Sweetie, are you okay?"  The suddenly worried tone in his mother's voice made his guts clench even more.

"Umm…not really. I mean…mostly…I'm just…" he sighed at the mess he was making.

"Dean, please, tell me what's wrong?"  Her voice rose a little, and he thought he could hear the rumble of his fathers voice, though not the words.

"Um…I…I'm gonna be out of work for…an indefinite period of time. I'm uh…I had a bit of an accident – not in the car! Mom I wasn't in a car, I was just…in the wrong place at the wrong time and I got a little hurt." He rushed out. He gulped and attempted to plunge on, but it still came out as just a whisper. "I can't see anything." More silence as his mother waited.

"Dean, I couldn't hear you, could you repeat that." His stomach churned and he leaned his head back on the bench seat of his car. He took a deep, shaky breath.

"I…can't see mom.  I'm mostly blind."

"Oh god Dean…" he could hear her sobbing on the other end.

"Mom, listen to me. I….the doc said it's temporary. I'll be all right, I just…I don't know when. I didn't exactly want to tell you this over the phone, but, Jo and Sam thought I should prepare you before I got home. I'm sorry; I know this is going to make things harder on us…"

"No, don't you worry about that Dean. We'll manage. Just worry about you, about getting better, okay sweetie? We'll, we'll see you when you get in. Stay safe, please?" Dean could hear the hitch in his mother's voice as Mary attempted to get herself under control, stay strong for her son.

"I'll do my best mom. And I have Jo here to help me with that."

"I love you Dean." She sniffed, and then hung up. Dean sighed and dropped the phone in his lap.

"Are you okay?" Jo asked, hesitantly. He shrugged and nodded at the same time. "Deaaaan…"

"I don't know what we're going to do. You know that dad can't work, ever since the…accident. You know it's been me that keeps us above water. God, coming to this con was such a bad idea. This is what happens when you want something for yourself. It screws over everyone else."

"No, don't you dare regret this. I don't regret this. The only thing to regret is that you got hurt at all. Everything else, you have to admit, was wonderful. And I really think that…Charlie and Cas, they'll keep in touch with both of us. I really do. And I know neither of us can regret meeting them, even if it winds up that they don't." She looked over at Deans tired face. She knew him better than almost anyone other than Sam and she could see the worry and doubt and pain behind his masks and his jokes. "We'll find a way Dean. I promise. Our family won't suffer because of a temporary setback." He opened his mouth to protest. "I said our and I mean it, you know better than to argue with me, cause I'm always right." He closed his mouth and his lips twitched into an almost smile.  Now was the time to strike. "For instance, you and Cas…you're smitten!"

"JO!"

"Oh, come on! Admit it! You liked him before you even met him just because he looked hot and he had talent, but then you got to know him and now you've got a full blown crush going on – you can't deny it!" Dean blushed and turned his face away, knowing she could read him like an open book. "And Cas, I'm thinking there is definitely interest there."

"I'm blind Jo."

"He's not. And he's been drooling over you since I saw that video on YouTube."

"And how about you and Charlie?" he tried to deflect.

"What about us? She's hot Dean! And super smart and kinda nerdy – okay, a _lot_ nerdy – and we get along awesomely! There's definitely something there and I'm going for it!" his jaw dropped. He hadn't expected her to just admit it. "Some of us aren't in denial Dean, of anything that could make us the slightest bit happy."

He frowned in answer. "Yeah well, things like this happen when I try to pursue something that might maybe make me happy." He gestured at his face. "So I would think you'd understand why I might be a little hesitant."

"Oh, get over it."

"Thanks oh sensitive one."

"You love me…"

"You're my sister. I'm kinda obligated to."

"Dean, if I wasn't driving, I'd have smacked you for that…" He smirked at her and reached over to the radio, groping for the dials and turning up the music. Okay then, Jo thought, conversation over. She looked at him as he leaned back against the seat again. For now only.


	14. Charlies World of Weirdness - The Youtube Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of the con, Charlie corners the brothers for a special web interview to review the happenings - both good and bad, for the fans that couldn't be there, before breaking into new topics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i'm getting comfortable enough with where I'm going that I might start putting this out there. I'm gonna do a quick review... and decide if i should hit the real post and not the draft post.
> 
> Picture added on 2/11/16

Charlie looked at her cornered prey. Cas raised an eyebrow and Gabe just sucked on a lollipop. Okay, maybe prey was too strong a word. As was cornered. Gabe practically tore down the door to get in when he heard her idea, after all.  And Cas hadn't been too far behind.

“When do we start?” he slurred around the candy in his mouth. Cas rolled his eyes at Gabes manners. Charlie just smirked.

“The camera and I are ready whenever you are.” She beamed at them.

“You do remember that our agents are going to want to check the footage before it goes online?” it was her turn to roll her eyes.

“Yes, Cas, I’ve been a Web Series host for, like, freakin’ ever. You guys comfy? Okay, and go!” she shouted. “Oh don’t give me that look, I’ll just edit it out.”  She turned to look directly into one of the two mounted cameras pointed at them and gave it a little wave. “Welcome to the newest edition of Charlies World of Weirdness and other cool stuff! I have a treat for you today.”

 She touched a remote in her lap and the camera looking at her panned to her right and scanned over the faces of her two guests. Multiple computer monitors set up behind this particular camera gave her the cameras direct view so she knew where to aim and when to stop. Maybe official studios had top of the line equipment, or well, you know, more staff so people weren’t wearing multiple hats. But she’d cobbled this system together herself and she was quite proud of her one woman show.

“You see beside me one Castiel Novak and one Gabriel Milton – both actors extraordinaire and currently co-stars in that massive multi - movie project, “Angels”. While they and their co-star Balthazar Roche were at AngelCon this weekend, their other co-stars – Anna Milton, and Naomi Smith were taking part in a different con across the country. And if you, my faithful viewers, have been paying attention to the internet at all these past few days, then you are already aware of some stunning news that broke out at AngelCon involving the duo in front of us. For those of you none the wiser, I’m about to play a clip from one of _many_ uploaded videos that captured it.”  Charlie paused so that she had a place to edit in the clip and then continued.

“So…brothers! What’s that all about? I’m assuming it was Castiel that changed his name, since it’s well known that Anna is your sister Gabriel.  And that was quite a big deal that siblings were working on this project together. Who knew there were more of you!  Oh! Well, I guess that makes her _your_ sister too, doesn’t it Castiel?” Castiel nodded in answer the last question and Gabriel removed the sucker from his mouth.

“It was Cassie’s idea to keep it a secret. Only our family and closest friends knew who he really was. Till I messed up this weekend. Truly sorry Cassie.”

“It’s quite all right. As you’ve stated before, I have long since achieved the goal I initially set out when I changed my name.” he looked at Charlie as she gave an encouraging noise. “Basically, I knew what I wanted to do when U was very young. If any of you are familiar with my family, you know that our parents went to great lengths to keep all of us children away from the  limelight until we made our own decisions on whether to perform or not. So when I made mine,  it was very easy to go out under an assumed name.”

“Okay, so that's the who, but could you tell us _why_ you did that?”

“It's very simple really. I wanted to earn my own way. My family had gained popularity or, in some cases, notoriety – “ here Gabe snorted. “- and I just wanted to be judged under my own merit and get the roles I found because of my own talent. Not because a casting director or someone else figured that the apple didn't fall too far from the tree.”

“Right, really, what Cassie didn’t want was anyone to hire him thinking he’d be just as charming and energetic as me…and then get disappointed when they found out how somber and awkward he really was.” Gabriel snickered as Castiel rolled his eyes.

“It’s true; the two of you are very, very different. Even Anna, now that I know she’s your sister, seems completely unrelated to either of you. There’s such a dramatic difference in personalities. So is there anything else to this story?”

“There really isn’t much to tell. The family helped me keep the secret for my entire career, long since past its usefulness. I guess, the only reason we never broke silence was that really, it had become second nature to all of us.”

“So it wasn’t to engender an air of mystery among your fans?”

“That really wasn’t my intention and I’m sorry if it came across as such.” Castiel leaned forward in earnest as he imparted his words. It was Gabriel’s turn to roll his eyes. He clapped a hand on his brothers’ shoulder.

“Oh, lighten up Cassie…no harm done, yeah?”

“So, that brings me to the next part of our segment. Seems that bit of news wasn’t the only excitement of the con this past weekend. I heard a fan was injured during the event, and you both happened to witness it. Is this true?”  Charlie was playing the part of the web reporter well, Castiel thought. Of course she knew everything, but it wasn’t common knowledge that she was one of Castiel's’ best friends. One of? He thought. Try only.

“Yes, I was with him at the time. It was truly a bit of bad luck.” Charlie’s eyes sparkled.

“And, the fan that was injured, was that this one in the same video I showed earlier? The artist you were talking to at the time of Gabriel’s Great Blunder?” Castiel could almost hear the capitalization of the phrase Charlie uttered and Gabriel was chortling with glee.  Knowing, of course, what she was talking about, Castiel could only nod.

“Yes, his name is Dean and his art is fantastic. Sadly, he’ll have to put it aside for an unknown length of time due to…his injuries.”

“And what were those?”

“I’m not at liberty to say. I’m not about to spill this fans private life to the internet without his permission.”

“Well, I, for one, would like to help this young man out. I know that you’re still in contact with him. If I arrange a fundraiser, would you help coordinate with me and get the money to him and his family?”

“Of course.”

"And could you tell me what is happening right now with the vile culprits who put a black mark on the con that weekend?"

"All I can tell you was that they were arrested. Again, it's not my place to say any further."

"Those bozos are lucky Cassie is classy. If I knew what was going to happen to them, I'd be blurting it out on the internet. If I knew where they lived, they'd regret it. Nobody needs that kind of malarkey at _any_ con. We come to enjoy ourselves, connect with the fans and make them happy. The fans come out for the same reasons and above all, we're basically a family. I hope that no one thinks ill of the con for something so far beyond anyone's control, and that they hold those two asshats responsible for all the damages done."

Charlie and Castiel agreed with Gabriel, and they quickly moved on to other topics. Such as the release of the 5th movie in their series. With less than a month to go before the premiere, Gabriel and Castiel had to walk a fine line on what could be revealed safely while still passing out a tidbit or two to whet the audiences appetites. Well, Castiel did. Gabriel didn't so much walk that line as hopscotch around it as he continued to lay out all sorts of outlandish ideas that Castiel knew never even happened, but the average fan wouldn't know that.

Luckily for all of them, the average fan also knew not to take Gabriel seriously. As such, Castiel had to suppress a grin when his brother dropped one or two real hints in with the rest. This was something Castiel couldn't do. Acting was one thing, this was – somehow- completely another. He sat back and just enjoyed the show his brother and Charlie put on, with an occasional comment from what they'd early on termed the peanut gallery- himself.


	15. Home Made Apple Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finally has a reaction to it all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters after this are going to go up a little slower. I had written up all the other ones ahead of time and only placed them in drafts before as I was trying to make sure I had my direction all set. And i didn't start 'posting' them till I had gotten to chapter 13...
> 
> I suppose i should point out - or did I do that already? - that I don't have a beta. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes. Although I keep catching myself writing out 'write' instead of 'right' and "you're" when i want "your". I give everything a couple read overs before posting, but I could have missed anything. let me know if I did, please?

Dean was dreading the moment he arrived home. When the repercussions of the weekend would be slammed into him even more than they already had. The closer they got, the tenser he became. Finally, Jo pulled into the driveway in front of the worn but well cared for house and turned off the car. Dean didn't move. She looked over at him, frozen in place, eyes staring unseeingly straight ahead.

"Dean –"was all she managed to get out before he was moving. Groping for the door handle he pushed it open and slid out and to the side. He closed the door behind him and, trailing his hand along his Baby, made his way to the front of the car and stopped. He heard Jo get out of the car behind him. She grabbed his arm and just said quietly, "Come on."  He reluctantly went along with her. Without knocking, Jo opened the front door and guided him in. He was stiff and sore from the long ride, his ribs still aching, his head throbbing. He was all around fucking miserable.

"Dean, sweetie!" he felt arms enfold him as Jo let go and backed away. He grunted a little in pain but allowed himself to slump into his mother's arms, his own coming up to hold her tightly. One of her arms moved to pet through his hair soothingly "Are you okay?" she said softly.

"I'm…glad to be home." He said simply, not letting go. The entire trip back, when ever Jo wasn't distracting him, all he could think about were how bad things were likely going to get with him laid up like this. How disappointed his dad would be, and how worried his mom would be. It had him twisted in knots and though he knew nothing was resolved, for this moment, in his mother's arms with the smell of apple pie wafting in and finally making itself known, everything fell away. It didn't feel quite so bad. This feeling wouldn't last, because he knew reality would barge in, it always did, but he was going to take this moment and make it last as long as he could.

"Mary, let the poor boy get in the door, would you?" His father's rough voice came from further inside. If Dean knew his father at all, John was set up in his wheelchair over by the TV, drink in hand. Dean tightened his arms around his mother for another moment before reluctantly letting go and drawing back. At some point, Jo had left and come back and he could hear her dragging the bags in.

"I'll drop these in your room, okay Dean?" She called out on her way past. Dean ran a hand through his hair and nodded, not knowing if she'd seen or not.

"Did…anyone call Bobby?" he fidgeted nervously as he asked.

"No boy, we left that for you to explain. I hope you do a better job than when you called us. You had your mother in a right state when she got off  the phone." Dean winced at his fathers tone.

"I'm sorry mom."

"No, it's all right sweetie. You were rather upset yourself, it's understandable." Dean couldn't see the look Mary shot John, but Jo did as she hovered behind them, not wanting to make her presence known and make it any more awkward. Mary pulled her son towards the kitchen. "Here, I made you your favorite pie. I know it won't solve anything, but it'll make you feel a little better."  Dean felt that lump return to his throat and he swallowed around it.

"Thanks mom."

"Jo, would you like some pie before you go?  
  
"Sure. I gotta call Bobby and wait for a ride anyway since-" Jo hesitated about finishing that sentence, for once unsure about how she should treat Dean. Her normal teasing manner would come off as perhaps a little too harsh. On the other hand, she didn't think Dean would appreciate being treated any differently either. She decided to plunge on and hope it wasn't the wrong choice "- this loser can't drive me home like planned."

"Screw you Harvelle. You should be basking in the glory that you were permitted to drive Baby, not beating up blind people." Jo relaxed as Dean shot back a typical response. Relieved that she had obviously taken the right tact, she pulled out her phone as Mary started cutting and dishing out pie. John rolled himself in from the other room to join them. A hand landed roughly on Dean's arm.

"What happened, son?"

"Plain old, stupid, typical Winchester bad luck." Dean huffed. "I didn't even start anything man. Just happened to be in the wrong spot at the wrong time and I never saw it coming. I was distracted by…well…things." Dean sighed. "I really don't have any bad injuries at all, just a few stitches in my head and apparently some lump the size of Kansas caused by me falling into a load bearing pole. Guess I hit _just_ the right spot to cause…this." Dean gestured at his face in a floppy hand motion and dropped his hand back to the table. "The good news is I didn't get the _wrong_ spot, and this should be temporary. But they couldn't give me a very good estimate." Dean leaned his elbows on the table and dropped his head in his hands. "Dad, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for all of this." He gulped some air to calm himself as he felt his father awkwardly patting his arm before pulling it away. A clink on the table followed by several more announced the arrival of pie, as Mary slid a plate in front of everyone.

"I warmed it up, since I baked it this morning and it had gone rather cold. I know how you enjoy hot apple pie, Dean."

"There's nothing better mom, thanks." He gave her a grin as he slowly lowered his arm. He used his left arm to reach carefully for the plate to hold it steady and used his right to find the fork. Clumsily, slowly, he worked his way through the pie, hoping he wasn't making too much of a mess. Bringing it to his face didn't seem to be quite so hard as finding it on the plate, which was only marginally harder than getting it _off_ the plate. He'd probably stick to finger foods after this if he had any say. If it wasn't his mothers' apple pie, he'd say it wasn't worth the hassle, but there was no way he was going to pass up his feel good food.

They ate in silence and it didn't take long for a knock to sound at the door. Mary got up to let Bobby in and offered him a slice of his own. Taking her up on it, he sat down around the worn, kitchen table and took in the somber mood of the people around him.

"Who died?" he grouched.

"Nobody died Bobby." Dean muttered. "God, you're so morose." Dean scraped his fork around on the plate, trying to figure out if there was any pie left. His fork didn't run into anything so he sighed and laid it down. Bobby narrowed his eyes as he glanced around the table.

"All right. Maybe I am, but none of you can deny that something _did_ happen, or Jo here wouldn't be calling me up for a ride like I'm her chauffer. The Impala looks like she's fine, so that’s not the reason. Now somebody better spill, fast."  Dean dragged his hand down his face.

"Look, Bobby – "

"Boy, why won't you look at me?"

"Cause I can't see you! Okay? And I won't be in to work tomorrow either and I don’t know if – "

"When, Dean, when! The doc said…" Dean slammed his hands on the table, narrowly missing his plate and fork, hitting with enough force to make the plates rattle against it.

"I know what the doc said, but he…you know, you _all_ know, they don't always get these things right either, and with our famous Winchester luck, they probably got it wrong. Again. So that makes it an _if_ , not a when, which means I don’t know _if_ I'll ever be able to return to work."  Dean was breathing a little heavy and he leaned his head against clasped hands. "Fuck. I’m sorry, I didn't mean…."

He shoved his chair back and stood up, stumbling till he could find the wall. He placed his hand on it and started his slow journey to his room. He grew up here, and this house was more familiar to him than anything. He'd navigated it in the dark many times, but this felt different somehow and it suddenly felt like it was taking too long to get there. He tried to calm himself and pull up his mental map of the house, knowing exactly how many rooms there were between him and his door, and hoping there'd be nothing in the way that he couldn't possibly expect.  Like Sams' old dog, Bones. Maybe one of the dogs' rawhides or maybe Mary had been cleaning when they got home and she could have left something out to rush to the door. Hopefully not. He just wanted to collapse in his bed and shut out the world for now. For once, his mothers soothing apple pie just sat like a rock in his stomach, all comfort he'd started to gain from it, just gone.

Behind him, he left a shocked silence.


	16. Jo and the Conspirators

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo hatches a plan with Castiel and Charlie on how to get the Winchesters to accept some help. The question is, will it work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are going to go up a little slower now, I may have mentioned that already? Or maybe that was on tumblr? 
> 
> I went back and edited the first three chapters to add in some art - some quick pencil sketches I did last night. I may or may not continue to do that. Let me know what you guys think?
> 
> EDIT - 2/3/16 : PIC ADDED

Jo sat cross legged on her bed in her room above the Roadhouse, the pub style restaurant her mother owned and ran. A laptop was perched on a sturdy wood TV tray next to the bed and Skype was open. Charlie was on the other end, along with Castiel. It had taken a few days to set up this meeting, texting back and forth with Charlie.

  
  


"Yeah, this fundraiser thing, it sounds great and all, but really, I don't know how you're going to get him to accept it. Dean is…he's proud. The whole family is. They don't accept help. It's, well, trust me, it's infuriating. "

"Well, maybe we could pass it off as something the fans wanted to do?" Charlie trailed off as Jo shook her head vehemently.

"You gotta be sneakier than that to get a Winchester to accept 'charity'." She said. "Believe me, we've tried." She paused, then hesitantly spoke, "To be honest, in the short term, they'd be fine if…well, it's basically Sam's school expenses. He got a free ride to Stanford but…there are other expenses. And after Stanford, more schooling…that’s what Deans little nest egg is meant for. Yeah, he pays part of the family bills, but only part. Everything else is saved for Sam. If Sam wasn't in school, the savings he has already would be enough to keep them all going for a while…and there's no way, no fuckin' way Dean would ever let his brother drop out of school like he did. So…"

They were silent for a few minutes. Jo was nervous telling these almost strangers so much personal stuff about Deans family without his permission, but she had a good feeling about Charlie and Castiel. From what she had gotten to know of them already, particularly Charlie, they were good people. And Castiel had already proved that he wouldn't spread anything about Dean on the internet. So she held her breath, hoping they had ideas, because after so long being friends with the Winchesters, she had run out of ideas they'd accept.

Suddenly Charlie practically leaped up, shouting "Eureka!", startling Castiel who had started to speak at the same time, but now only able to give a short yelp as he fell out of sight of the camera. "Oh, sorry Cas! I just came up with the Best. Idea. Ever! Seriously, it's totally amazeballs!" A hand reached up from below the cameras view and grasped the chair Castiel had been sitting in and he pulled himself back up, glaring halfheartedly at Charlie.

"Charlie, I can't wait to hear your idea – but I think Cas may have had one as well. That's good since we may need more than one."

"Well, by way of apology, let's hear yours first, okay Cas?" Charlie graciously offered. Castiel settled back into the chair and then looked over at Jo.

"Well, it was…I just remembered something Gabriel said to me that Saturday night and it sparked an idea. He'd said how the con shouldn't be mad at me for spending time with a fan injured on their premises because it would be like I was their free PR guy, to keep them from being sued."

"Dean would never -!" Jo started indignantly, but she stopped when Castiel held a hand up.

"I didn't think he would but…as much 'excitement' as it all was, and no matter how much 'publicity' they're getting, it could all be the wrong kind of publicity and excitement for the con. After incidents like these, fans may fear for their safety, and it becomes possible that the attendance for the con could go down. However, we could always spin it that the con is sponsoring the fundraiser as a way to reassure fans that they take their safety very seriously. Would Dean then perhaps accept the money if he is under the impression that it wasn't merely charity? That the con needed it to save face, so to speak?"  Jo stared at him thoughtfully as Charlie looked at him in awe.

"That's brilliant, Cas!" she exclaimed suddenly. Jo responded more slowly.

"I think…I really think that could work. But he may only accept a token amount, if he believes it’s a front anyway." Castiel nodded and looked down but Charlie jumped up again, all excited.

"That’s where _my_ idea can come in! Really, it's brilliant. And together with Cas's idea, it's absolutely fan-TAS-tic!" Jo leaned forward eagerly and Castiel raised his head to look at Charlie, an eyebrow raised in a _'Well, get on with it'_ expression. Charlie leaned forward and started mock whispering conspiringly. "What if we, depending on how much we raise of course, pay some of Sam's extra expenses? If he's that good a student to get a 'full ride', it shouldn't be all that hard to convince him that he won some sort of special scholarship award that he can turn towards his other school and living expenses."

"That would…draw out Deans savings to last longer, and if he accepts the token from the fundraiser directly, it could pad out his savings even more. And if his sight returns quickly, he could always…he might find himself…well I guess it all depends on how much we raise but I can see this working. I can see good things coming from this." Jo is beaming and getting cautiously optimistic. "This is…this is wonderful. I can't thank you guys enough!"  Charlie preened, pretending to buff her nails on her shirt.

"Pfft….no problem! All in a day's work for a genius like me." Jo snorted in laughter.

"You're so humble, aren't you?"

"There's nothing wrong in taking pride in yourself and your special skillsets."

"Just as long as those special skillsets don't get you in trouble." Castiel rumbled at her, his mouth twitching as if he was trying _not_ to grin.

"Hey, that was one time, and they couldn't prove it was me anyway." Jo looked on, her mouth gaping.

"I don't want to know, do I?"

"No." Came the dual answer in Charlie's chipper voice and Castiel's lower rumble.

"Okay then, let's continue to plot then. What do we need to do, to pull this together? And who, exactly, should we let in on it? Or do we snow _all_ of them with the same information we're gonna give Dean?"

"Well, for that, we're kind of depending on you, Jo. On our end, we'll have to talk to the con. They need to be in on it if we're going to get them to endorse it. And we'll need also to let Cas's agent know since he'll be doing some of the publicity for it, as we already established that in my video the other day. Gabriel would probably be best to tell, since he's Cas's family and if he sniffs out a secret he's not in on, well, he doesn't let it go."

"That is very true. It's best to let Gabe in ahead of time, or we could all regret it later.  It's also possible we'd have to talk to Stanford as well. Would Sam be likely to investigate a scholarship he didn't apply for that suddenly fell into his lap?" Jo nodded.

"At any rate," Charlie picked back up, "for your end. Well. You know the Winchesters and those around them best.  How would they react to the "non-edited for Dean" version of what's going on?"

Jo leaned back and put her thinking face on. "That's a good question. I think…we do need to tell Sam. Mary wants anything she can give her boys, she loves them to death. I think she'd be okay with it, but not sure we need to tell her. We shouldn't tell John. That’s where Dean learned his uh…independent streak I guess I'll call it, since I wanna be nice right now. My mother and Bobby though, I think it'd be best to tell them or they'd get suspicious why I'm in the thick of things. But don't worry; they'll be cool with it! They've been where you are, and they would love to help. The Winchesters have turned down all of our offers to help quite often over the years. It's a rare moment we find a way that gets accepted. We're not really blood but, they're like family to us. We want to help them and they never let us. It hurts that they won't. I think that Mom and Bobby will _definitely_ be on board for a way to finally help them that can't be turned down. Even if it winds up being anonymously."

"Are you sure about Sam though? Won't he be as stubborn as the rest of them?"

"Are you kidding me? Sam practically hero worships Dean. Seriously, the two of them would sacrifice just about anything for each other. And Sam knows exactly what Dean is already sacrificing to put him through school. If there's a way he can make Deans life easier, or even find a way for Dean to get a little closer to his _own_ dreams? I'm sure Sam will put aside his personal pride to help his brother."

"So, if you don't mind my asking, what was it that Dean had to sacrifice? What dream was it?" Jo looked at Charlie, and then turned to Castiel.

"I think Cas knows." She watched him scrunch his eyes up and tilt his head, his mouth starting to open to probably ask ' _how would I know?'_ , when he froze. His eyes widened in realization and his mouth dropped open the rest of the way as he whispered,

"Oh. Oh god…his art." Charlie looked at him in shock as his voice got stronger, "I've rarely seen someone so passionate about something, yet so positive he would never do anything with it. He gave up his art for his brother?" he asked, almost incredulously. Would he have done the same for any of his siblings? Would they have for him? He…wasn't sure. They just didn't have that close of a relationship. It seemed that Sam and Dean, however, did. God, the more he learned about the man..."So, he never had any schooling for it, because he gave up his dreams of pursuing it. Is that why he thinks he isn't any good? Because, God Jo, he is. He really is. There is such talent there and it saddens me to know it is going to waste."

Jo turned her head away, and both Castiel and Charlie could see the sadness and anger on her face. "No, that’s not why he believes he's no good. His father is why. John…is a good man, for the most part. I mean, he loves his family. Anyone can see that, but there are times when all of us have wanted to slap him around for the way he's treated them. The responsibilities laid at their feet, the things he's taught his sons. I…I won't get into it. That’s a little too private and not my place." Jo caught herself and pulled herself back, having to remind herself that she was talking to two strangers, essentially, no matter how far she was willing to trust them.  Even though there was just something that screamed  _'Trust Me'_  to her, it wouldn't be right to make those decisions on anyone else behalf. Castiel nodded understandingly.

"That’s all right, Jo. I'm sure if Dean wants me to know, that is when I will know. In the meantime, maybe…if all this works out, if we can raise more money than we were even initially thinking of, maybe we can still make his own dream come true? If his family is provided for, maybe we can convince him not to waste his talent? I could…possibly find him scholarships to an art school as close to home as he'd wish. He'd still need to apply, I don't have any influence on something like that, but…I can help find him options, find ways to supplement those options. Things he'd be able to accept, if you could help with that?"

"Let's see where things stand _after_ the fundraiser before we broach anything like that with him. There's no reason to get his hopes up – in fact, it's hard to get him to even talk about it at all. So we may need to wait till there's something concrete to put on the table."

"Of course, you know him best."

"I am his bestie!" She cried, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, he declared _me_ his new bestie, remember?" Charlie jumped in enthusiastically. Castiel looked on, bemused.

"Charlie, if you have abandoned your post, does that mean I am now in the market for a new best friend?" Charlie stuck her tongue out at him. "Jo, it seems we have both lost our best friends. Maybe we should join forces to be each other's best friends and fill the void left behind?"

The two girls started to laugh uncontrollably as Castiel tried to keep a straight face.

 


	17. Unexpected Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deans wallowing in misery when a couple of co workers drop in for a visit to find out whats going on with him.

It had only been a week and Dean was already going insane. He'd tripped over the dog he doesn't know how many times. His dad 3 times and that had been real fun. And he's pretty sure he's forced his mother go out and buy a new set of replacement glasses.

The worst part of it all was that Dean's outlet for when everything is just too much for him is gone and the itch beneath his skin is becoming unbearable. Jo came over nearly every day despite him asking her not to. His mom was fussing over him like crazy, trying to help him get his bearings. Dean hasn't left the house since he got back, and John…he's not sure what's up with his dad.  He was being really quiet about all of it, and it was seriously unnerving him.

And today was already looking to be as frustrating and as boring as all the rest. On the plus side, he was getting better at navigating the entire house with confidence…as long as no one left anything out to trip on. He sighed.

Sometimes he had to remind himself that it wasn't just him who had to adjust to his new blindness, but his parents as well. They made sure now to make noise when moving around so he would know where they were. His mother never left things out on the floors unattended anymore, though Dean couldn't say the same about the dog. Bones didn't know and didn't care that his raw hides were a tripping hazard. He also didn't care that Dean was essentially blind and didn't, therefore, tip toe around him.  If and when Dean got Bones attention, he often found himself cuddled up with the old dog, just scratching his ears and petting his fur as the dog snuffled contentedly. At least there was still something he could do for somebody. Even if it was just his brothers dog.

God he was getting morose. He grunted, rose from his bed and made his way to the kitchen. Once there he fumbled around in the cabinets for a glass…now plastic, he'd noticed…and then to the sink because at least he'd know for sure what he was getting to drink. He hadn't figured out yet how to tell the difference between different soda cans or cartons. He could wind up with juice or milk. Or his father's beer, and he didn't think it was a good idea for him to be drinking beer right now. His attitude would certainly not improve and he didn't want to be more of a burden then he already was.

 He drained his cup and filled it again, debating the idea of attempting to bring it back to his room or not. He'd made it out here without tripping. What were the chances he could get back without tripping and spilling it everywhere? His brow furrowed. With his luck? He was sure he'd spill it. Oh well. It was just water. Time to take risks. He snorted to himself. Yeah, big risk taker he was.

The doorbell rang and he almost dropped is cup in surprise. His mother was out, and he wasn't sure if his dad was awake. He certainly wasn't very mobile. Even blind, it was quite possible Dean might actually make it to the front door before his dad could, depending on which part of the house he was in, or if he'd fallen asleep in his wheelchair again.

He put the cup down on the counter and made his way out of the kitchen and into the living room. He heard snores to his left so, yeah, good call. The bell rang again. He cursed. "Hold your horses!" he yelled. Then he heard it, the jingle of Bones collar and the clacking of his nails across the floor as the dog rushed to see who was at the door. Oh, this might not end well. Here was hoping he got to the door before the dog could trip him.

Miracle of miracles, he did. He yanked the door open and bright light flooded his vision. Still no shapes though. Or movement. He couldn't even claim to be a T-rex. Dammit. He waited a second for whoever was on the other side of the door to speak, but he got impatient too fast.

"Yeah? Who's there?"

"Yo man, you fell off the grid! I heard you were back in town, but you haven’t been to work all week or answered any of my texts. So we hangin' tonight or what?" Dean closed his eyes and tried not to lean on the door.

"Uh, Garth?" he waited for an answer but suddenly Bones pushed his way between Deans legs to get at one of his favorite people after Sam, and Garth devolved into baby speak as he bent over to ruffle the dogs fur. Dean grunted and tried to back away from the door without tripping over Bones, who was wriggling like a maniac under him.  It didn't work. He slammed onto the ground, hitting ass first.

"Fuck!" he growled as he rolled and tried to stand. A hand grabbed his elbow and he almost yanked away in surprise, but the grip was too strong.

"Hey brotha, let me help."

"Sorry man!" came the apologetic tones of Garth. Dean waved it off and shrugged Benny's hand off of his arm.

"Yeah, thanks." He mumbled.

"Hey Dean, did you know your shirts on inside out?" Garth spoke again and Dean slapped a hand over his face and groaned.

"Seriously? Sonuvabitch."

"Brotha, are you all right?"

"What, you guys haven't heard?" Dean lowered his hand and faced the voices.

"Heard what?" came the equally confused voices of two of his coworkers. He sighed.

"Come on in." Dean gestured vaguely with his hand and turned – and hit the little table by the door, making it rattle. He cursed, reached out to steady it as he re-orientated himself. Every damn time he tripped and fell, he became flustered and lost. He took a breath and tried again, making his way back to the kitchen and groping around for the cup he left by the sink. He knocked it over instead. He heard his friends come in behind him. He swore.

"Dean, are you okay?" the normally chipper tones of Garth were much more subdued and filled with concern.

"Not really, no." Dean answered flatly.  It was Benny, the more observant of the three of them, that put it all together.

"Can you… are you…is there something wrong with your eyes, Dean?"

"What was your first clue, Benny?"

"Oh god dude, that sucks balls."

"Thanks Garth." Dean snarked as he stumped over to the table, sweeping his arm out to catch the back of a chair so he could fall into a seat. Once he did, he leaned his elbows on the table and dropped his head into his hands. A thunk next to him proved to be Benny giving him a fresh cup of water.

"Garth's cleaned up the spill, Cher, so now why don't you tell us what's going on, hmm?"


	18. Brainstorming With the Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much the title - Benny, Garth and Dean all brainstorm some things, cheering Dean up in the process. Mary arrives home and talks with Benny a little bit about everything going on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters in the same day - I'm (trying) building up for Thursday and Friday as both are likely to be dead air for the holidays. I need to wake up several hours earlier than is normal for me on Thursday, so I can drive my family 2 hours north of here to go to my in - laws for thanksgiving dinner (which really, should be called Thanksgiving Lunch) before dropping my kid off with her grandmother and returning home. Grabbing the potato soup I need to make Wednesday between my kids doctors appointment and going in to work early and heading out to a friends for another thanksgiving meal.  
> Then again the next day, going out to yet another friends for a thanksgiving get together. These are events I don't want to pass up since these are friends I almost never get to see anymore because of my second shift schedule.
> 
> If I don't 'see' you again before the holidays, Have a good one :D

Benny and Garth stared at Dean as he finished. They watched him slide his hand around till he hit his plastic cup, it wobbled before he managed to grasp it and drink. Benny hadn’t ever seen plastic glassware in this house before and he wondered how many glasses Dean had broken during the past week before his mother wised up and made the switch.

"Damn, brotha…that’s rough." He said, sympathetically. Garth nodded and then winced after he received a look from Benny.

"So how come Jo didn't tell us what was going on?" Benny rolled his eyes at Garths question.

"She's probably been spending all her time over here, whenever she's not working, just trying to cheer this ass up." Dean let out a snort at Benny's retort.

"You're not wrong. Though I think it's safe to say she's being more of a pain in my ass than anything else."

"Oh, you know, that’s what friends are for." Benny said around a grin while Garth snickered. Suddenly, Garth clapped his hands together.

"Oh! Dean! I know – you need a hobby!"

"I already have a hobby…" Dean grumped, not bothering to mention that without being able to see, it wasn't much of a hobby.

"Yeah, but I mean, a new one, something you can do to entertain yourself while you wait this out."

"Garth, I can't think of too many things I can do while I'm blind, except how to learn how to be blind. And by the time I make any progress on that, I won't need it anymore. If…the doctors are right." Dean gulped and tried not to show how nervous he felt about that, how scared he was that they were wrong. He didn't want a repeat of that moment in the kitchen when he'd come home and lost his temper.

"Maybe so, Cher, but it would at least be something to do.  You can't stay cooped up in here just doing nothing."

"Oh yeah, watch me." Dean crossed his arms over his chest, petulantly. There was silence before Benny lost the fight on withholding his laughter. And when he lost it, Garth couldn't even attempt to hold back anymore. Dean glared at them sightlessly before dropping his arms away and starting to laugh himself. "Oh god, that was dumb, wasn't it?"

When they all finally calmed down, Garth pulled a tiny pad of paper and a pen out of his pockets. Benny raised an eyebrow at him and Garth shrugged.

"I always like to be prepared." He told him.

"Prepared for what? The apocalypse?"

"Well Dean, I'm sure that a pad of paper wouldn't be very useful in the apocalypse, but I'll have you know, that it's been great on many other occasions. And right now, we're going to use it to brainstorm a list."

"Of what?"

"Of things you could learn to do while blind." Garth said cheerfully. "You could learn Braille. Even if you don't wind up needing it, you never know when a skill like that could come in handy. Maybe having your own blind experience, you could become like, a guru or something to the blind." Benny cupped the elbow of one arm in his hand while the other hand covered his mouth as he tried not to laugh at Garths blind optimism and enthusiasm. It could be the kicker Dean needed. "You could learn to play an instrument; I hear guitars are highly recommended as a starter. You could learn to knit."

"Dude, no knitting…" Dean straightened, turning a little red.

"Dean, my man, knitting is an art. There's no shame in it."  Dean slumped at Garths comment and muttered defensively.

"Don't you, like, have to be able to see to do that?"

"Maybe for some of the more complicated things, sure, but there are many blind people who know how to knit. I guess once you get going, it's really a kind of by feel thing. My granny can knit in the dark. That’s like being blind."

"Whatever. What other ideas do you have?"

The three of them spent the next hour throwing ideas around of things he could outright do, or things he could do if they were modified and just watched Dean slowly relax. It wasn't much longer after that that Mary returned home with some brown paper grocery bags. Benny immediately stood up and offered to help, while Garth continued to chatter on with Dean and write more notes, crossing other things out, nodding and shaking his head unthinkingly.

Benny and Mary went outside and she laid a hand on his arm before he could reach into her trunk for the groceries. He stopped and turned to face her.

"Thanks for stopping by, both of you. Please tell that to Garth as well. This is the most upbeat and relaxed he's been since he came home. I…don't know what to do for him." She withdrew her hand and rubbed her arms. "You know how he is." Benny nodded.

"That I do, Mrs. Winchester – " She gave him a look and he grinned at her, "Sorry, Mary.  How are you and, uh, John holding up? Does Sam know what's going on?"

"Well, we're worried for him, but hopeful that the doctors aren't wrong. He's got an appointment tomorrow I'll be bringing him to and we're really hoping that there is something more they can tell us, something that they can pinpoint that says he's on track for getting his sight back. It'll be his first time out of the house since he came home. I don't think he's looking forward to it."

"Probably afraid he'll look like a fool." Benny noted that her answers weren't exactly what he was looking for. It probably meant that it was more than Dean who needed support right now. As friends, Benny and Garth, even Jo could come and go and relax back into a normality where they didn't have to worry about everything they did and how it would affect Dean. But his parents…that was a whole other story.

"People would understand, I think, if they just knew. Especially anyone who knows him. As for Sam, he knew all about it before we did. He's even thinking of finishing out the semester and just…coming home if Dean's sight hasn't recovered by then. We haven't told Dean yet." Benny shuddered.

"I hear ya, my lips are sealed. He will _not_ like that though if Sam winds up going through with it." Mary nodded.

"Now, as a thank you for your help, why don't you boys stay for dinner? I'm making burgers and fries tonight."

"For your burgers, Mrs. Winchester, I'd do anything…" Benny grinned and picked up a couple of the bags, walking himself back into the house. She smiled gratefully and followed with her own armful.


	19. Dean Forgot His Apple...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Dean must have forgot the apple, because here he was at the doctors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving!

  
  


"In short, it could still be some time before his vision returns. I recommend a proactive approach. In particular, hiring someone who could be hands on, who can both help him adjust in the short term, while preparing him for the worst case scenario. It'll keep him busy, and it'll make his – and your - life easier."

Dean gritted his teeth as he sat on the table in the Doctor's office. He was blind, not deaf and dumb. Neither was he a child that wouldn't understand any of the doctors' explanations. Well, mostly. At least so far, he'd heard nothing to warrant him being excluded. Doctor Zachariah was the most condescending man he'd ever met, and he couldn't wait to get out of there. He heard some scratching and then a tearing sound.

"This place is highly recommended for people like him. They will do at home visits as well as require on site sessions which get him out of your hair a few times a week."

"Doctor Zachariah, you talk as if my son is a burden. While I thank you for your help and your advice, I'll have you know that he is _not_ a burden. He has been the saving grace of our family." Dean turned red, embarrassed at the praise from his mother. It wasn't something he deserved. He only did what any decent person would do for his family. "Furthermore, I'm sure he would appreciate that you stop treating him like a child and talk to him as a human being. While it makes sense to hand me all his paperwork, there is no need to pretend he isn't even in the room."

Dean grinned as the doctor left in a huff. He slid off the table and his mother's hand found its way onto his arm, guiding him by his elbow.

"Thanks. Any more of that, and I don’t think I could have been anywhere near as polite. I was really itching to just haul off and punch him."

"Yes, well, he was an ass. Now, let's go check this place out. See if it's even worth our time."

"Now?"

"Yes, now sweetie." Dean grumbled but knew she was right. They were already out, might as well get his humiliations all over with in one fell swoop. "Don't worry, I have a reward planned for you when we're all done."

"Oh god, mom. I'm not a kid anymore…" Dean groaned. They made their way slowly out of the building and to her car. After they settled in and had started moving, Dean spoke again, his mind having nothing else to occupy itself then worry at their situation. "Mom, no matter what this place is like, you know we probably can't afford it."

"Oh, Dean…don't you forget that you have insurance through Bobby, I'm sure that something can be worked out. It's not like it's as simple as deciding if we need to update our wardrobe. Your eyes and your health, these aren't exactly frivolous things. This is important. You are important. You've helped take care of this family for a long time. Let us take care of you for once."

"Yeah but –"

"No. I don't want to hear any buts. We're pretty lucky something like this exists in this town. Before any decisions are made on anything, we at least should check it out. Maybe it's not worth our money, and then it wouldn't even be a factor. But if it is, Dean, I want you to give it an honest try. Okay sweetie?" Dean sighed and nodded.

Mary looked over at her son and bit her lip. He'd always been the strong one when he didn't need to be. He'd been the strong one when he shouldn't have had to be. But she was his mother and she could see his insecurities, his fragilities, the things he kept hidden. This was hurting him more than he'd admit.  And she was afraid both of asking how John had been behaving when she wasn't around and not asking. Because if he'd been on his best behavior, then asking would only set Dean on edge. But if he hadn't been, then she needed to find out, otherwise Dean could spiral from it if she didn't interject the voice of reason. She loved her husband, but he had some strong opinions she didn't hold with, and try as she might, they'd already affected Dean more than she had wanted them too. It had taken John too long to come around to the idea of Dean being Bi…and it had taken Dean that long or longer to recover from his father's reaction.

She decided not to say anything, yet, but resolved to keep a close eye on things. Just in case.


	20. Blind Leading the Blind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Checking out the Barnes School for the Blind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry - this ones short and sweet.

  
  


They wound up spending a couple of hours at The Barnes School for the Blind, meeting the proprietor herself, Pamela Barnes. They discussed Dean's situation, which naturally led into what the school had to offer him. He met with a multitude of people he couldn't keep straight and then his mom broke out with their worries about money. Pamela assured them that their insurance would likely cover most of the things Dean would need right away, and that while he may not need the full capabilities of her facility at this time, they'd re-evaluate that if necessary in a few months.  If it turned out that he may need to start thinking longer term, she promised to help them find the aid and grants that were available.

In the meantime, she introduced him to Samandriel, an eager sounding young man who insisted that calling him Alfie was fine, and don't even get him started on his real name, it was a nightmare. Dean thought he seemed nice. Maybe a little too nice. What would the kid do if Dean got so frustrated he became uncooperative? Not like he was planning on it but, honestly, he knew how stubborn he could get.  Mary continued to talk with Pamela more in depth while Alfie and Dean talked, just getting to know one another and Alfie giving Dean some pointers until they could set up an official appointment.

"Don't be afraid to ask for help. It can take some time to adjust. But with a lot of patience and practice, a lot of things you used to enjoy can still be enjoyed."  Dean rolled his eyes at that.

"Sure, whatever you say."

"Did you know that Ms. Barnes is also blind?"

"What?"

"Yeah. Totally can't tell. Most people can't, even those who _can_ see her.  It's amazing. Seriously, I had no idea. She's just that good." Deans eyes widened in astonishment. "She's an inspiration to many here. I hope she'll be yours too." Dean just nodded.

"Thank you Alfie. Dean, we have you set up for your first home visit tomorrow so that Alfie can see how capable you are in a place that’s comfortable to you. Then he'll make some evaluations and suggestions on how to proceed from there." Pamela spoke, then a  hand grasped his and he shook it.

"Thank you Pamela."

"I'll see you tomorrow Dean." Another hand grasped his and he shook it reflexively.

"Uh, yeah man…can't wait."


	21. Trip to the Roadhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary's surprise is a trip to the Roadhouse, as Dean becomes introspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm exhausted...thankfully, i had this and a a different chapter both partially done, so i was able to finish this off so i could put it up.  
> Hope you all had a good holiday, however it is you celebrate it :D I made a potato soup that i make so thick, i was told it qualified more as mashed potatoes than soup.

They got back in the car and Dean sat thinking about everything he'd learned. Truth to tell, he'd been feeling a little lost, and even though Benny and Garth had helped a lot yesterday, it was good to talk to someone who actually knew something about being blind. This…could be good for him. And for those around him. He had no illusions about how hard it's been for all of them.

"So you ready for that reward?" Mary asked. He turned toward her voice.

"What is it?"

"Ah ah! It's a surprise!"

"Oh come on, everything's a surprise these days." He grumped. There was silence. Yup, he'd done it again. Good old, insensitive Dean. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay sweetie. I understand it's hard. And I understand that I don't quite understand just how hard it is for you. But we'll get through this, okay? And you're not alone. Remember that. You have people who care for you, not just myself, or your father and brother. But so many others. Just….promise me, you won't close yourself off because of this, please?" 

He grunted and turned away, leaning his head against the cold glass of her car.

"Dean, please?" he winced at the pleading tone in her voice. His voice rough, he responded.

"I'll….I'll try, okay mom?"

"Thank you, Dean."

The silence they returned to was comfortable as they drove. Dean tried to figure out where they could be going, trying to judge the turns they took, the lengths of time between each one, the speed his mother was going. He tried to lay it down on the mental map he had of the town, but since he was unsure of just where that Barnes facility…place…was, he was finding it impossible. It did keep his mind busy for the rest of the drive, though, and he was good with that.

He was so lost in thought, he didn't notice when the car had stopped until it actually turned off. While not as loud as Baby, every car had a sound, distinct to his ears which had always been sensitive to the sounds a car made. It's one of the things that had made him an exceptional mechanic.  He could almost always diagnose a car by sound alone. Him, now that was an idea. Especially now, when every sound seemed amplified.  That could only be beneficial to him, should he pursue that. Seemed like the adage was true about how your other senses strengthened when you lost one.

The car door opened and slammed shut and he figured they'd gotten to wherever it was that his mother had planned for. Instinctively, he knew it wasn't home as he opened his door and carefully stepped out of the car to follow her. He didn't drive in his moms car much these days, didn't need to when he had his Baby, and wasn't as used to the differences in its shape and size as he grabbed onto the frame of the car to pull himself out. He stepped aside, leaving his hand on the door so he could shut it as soon as he was out of its way.

When he'd done so, Mary took his arm and had him thread it through hers, linking them together. They started walking across the pavement and sounds began to filter towards him. Some music, faint rock, came from somewhere in front of them. Suddenly he could smell Ellen's burgers and he knew. The Roadhouse. He groaned. It was bad enough he'd been in public amongst strangers twice today, but at least they were in places where they expected someone disabled like him.  Here would be a mix of people he knew and perfect strangers, who would have no clue about his condition and would likely, judge him, or ridicule him. He tensed, which his mother felt and she reached over to pat his arm.

"It's okay, relax. Ellen's been asking after you and I thought you could use a treat, your favorite meal. I know you like my burgers, but I also know nothing can beat Ellen's Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe." Dean opened his mouth to object that of _course_ nothing beat his mothers cooking. She squeezed his arm tightly in lieu of being able to shake a finger in his face. "Now, don't you try to deny it, we all know." She smiled as they pushed through the doors of the pub. "And there's nothing wrong with that."

The smells and sounds of the Roadhouse hit him full in the face, assaulting his ears and nose as they stepped inside. The jukebox he knew was in the corner was going strong, and there seemed to be a fair amount of patrons for a weekday afternoon, judging from the noise.

"Hey Dean, you bum…where ya been? We have to wait for yer mother to drag ya in just to see yer sorry ass?" Dean grinned automatically at the sound of Ellen's voice. His mother guided him to the bar where Ellen was likely wiping out some glasses, and he hauled himself into a stool with minimal fumbling. If he could do this drunk, he can sure as hell do it blind.

"Hey Ellen. How ya been?"

"Busy. We missed ya here. Thought we'd see ya when Jo came back."

"Yeah, well, haven't been in the mood…" Dean trailed off.

"I hear ya. So the usual?"

"What else?" Dean smirked. Ellen looked at Mary and she nodded. Ellen slapped at the table.

"All right, comin' right up." Dean relaxed a little with the familiar treatment, sounds and smells. This wasn't so bad. It's not like he was going to stand up and try to dance or anything, so why would anyone here know he was blind unless they actually stopped to talk to him?

It didn't take long for his mouth watering burger to be placed in front of him. He made quick work with it, groaning happily around his meal. Okay, he could deal with this. Today hadn't been so bad as he had feared. If only every day could be as low key and low stress as this had been. He knew that wasn't going to be the case, but as he enjoyed his meal, and Mary and Ellen chatted, he figured he was going to make the best out of today while it lasted.


	22. The Wind is Changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean didn't mean to overhear his parents, he really didn't...how would things change after this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did an almost completely lazy day today. but still, i have words :D  
> Enjoy!

Deans should have known. His good mood wouldn't last for very long. It never did.  He hadn't meant to overhear them. Honestly, he had no idea how they didn't know he was around, as much noise as he tended to make these days.

"John, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Mary…" his father's voice was slurred.  "Y'know I can't work…"

"No, I know that you won't. A wheelchair doesn’t make you worthless. It's your attitude that is cause for concern. Your refusal to do anything has been a strain on this family for a long time. A strain that Dean has picked up when he never should have. A strain that he's going to continue to feel as _guilt_ because of _your_ inability to stay out of that bottle and actually contribute to this family for once. John, you're a good man, and I know you love us but you've wallowed long enough. We've tried to get you help. We've found you jobs you are perfectly able to manage, but you refuse to help yourself. You refuse all offers _to_ help and… and in so doing, you're dragging us down. Most importantly, you've held Dean back."

Dean tried to hold his breath. He did _not_ want his parents to know he was there because that would be awkward and just…getting in the middle of their fight was not something he wanted to do. He was frozen in place, unable to move because he just knew that _this_ was the moment he'd trip over something and whatever he could thank for them not realizing he was there would be blown.

"You could certainly learn from his example. John, dear, look at your son. Your eldest. He's held this family together when you fell apart. And when he is suffering something that is potentially more debilitating than what you are suffering, he's _dealing_ with it. He has good days, yes, and he has bad days. But he's learning how to work around it, learning the things he can still do despite it. He is persistent and determined to push through this, no matter how badly it makes him feel. He does it for _us_ , for _Sam_. Can't you do the same?" Her voice fell to a whisper.

There was a long silence from the living room. The room his father practically lived in these days. How ironic the name was, Dean thought. He wondered at the words his mother said. The praise she'd pretty much just heaped on him. Yet Dean had never blamed his father. Had never thought to. Maybe resented the things he's had to change, to give up, to pick up the slack, but blame his dad? Never even crossed his mind. Yet it sounded like that’s what his mother was doing. He wondered if Sam felt the same.

He resisted the urge to run his hands through his hair. His ears were straining to hear any sounds, to see if they'd moved and if maybe it was safe for him to attempt to move. If they just turned on the tv, that could mask the sounds of his presence as he tried to make his way back to his own room. Still silence. His thoughts warred on. He reflected more on his mothers words. Maybe she was right? Dad could have done something more, if he'd tried. Bobby would have gladly given him some sort of desk work at the garage, free himself from having to do it. It wouldn't even have been charity, or a pity job at all. Things could have been better off all this time. But Dean had always just figured that Dad had needed time to adjust to the sudden changes in his life.

After all, losing all use of his legs rather put a damper on most of the jobs John could qualify for and made even the simplest of tasks terribly difficult. And that was a major injury. Dean had never realized how something so small as his eyes could affect so much, even though he should have. It was just…one of those things people took for granted. Sure, he wore glasses normally but still. The idea of going blind had never really touched on him. Dramatic things like that only happened in books and movies. And he was spending the last week or two just realizing how wrong that thinking was. And how it pretty much tore his worn down dreams even further away from him.

 

Honestly, the only things really keeping him going was the support of the friends and family around him, and the idea that this was temporary. His father had had the first and refused it, but never had the luxury of the second.  That had to have put a strain on his mind. Hence the drinking, even though it was the drinking that had got him into this mess to begin with.

God, Dean's head was going in circles and it was starting to hurt. He listened some more and heard nothing. He'd been standing out in the hallway long enough; he was just going to have to risk trying to get back to his room unheard. As he started to move, he heard his father whisper, so faint he almost missed it.

"I'm sorry, Mary, I'm so sorry. I'll…try. Can you help me?"

Stunned Dean almost stumbled into the wall. He caught himself. Had he made any noise? His ears strained some more, but nothing seemed to have given him away. He heard a sob. Was his mother crying? Oh god, she was crying! His heart clenched at the sound.

"Oh John…of course I'll help you. I've just been waiting for you to _let_ me. Together, if we all work together, this family can heal."

Sobs of relief, of happiness. That’s what he was hearing. He relaxed, the knots untying. This…could be a good thing, he realized. As long as his sight came back, he would cheerfully chalk this up in the win column. Even without his sight, seeing his father invested in life again would definitely be a win. He'd just prefer to get his sight back too.


	23. Hey Mikey, he likes it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to let Sam in on it....thankfully, for the conspirators peace of mind, he seems to be completely on board with the plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnd....more words :D
> 
> I started working on this on the 16th of this month. I had been thinking of doing Nano Wrimo, but didn't. But if i remember correctly, the word goal is what, 50,ooo words? I have just over half that in about a half a month. I think, if this story turns out to be long enough to REACH that, then I'd have nailed this if I'd actually started sooner!

"So wait, what are you…you guys aren't serious, are you?" Sam leaned forward on the screen as he was being viewed by several other people. His own screen was split into two. Jo was on one side, and that red head and the actor Dean liked were on the other side. Charlie and Cas, he remembered. He'd actually met them, however briefly it had been, just a few weeks back.

  
  


"We are very serious Sam. You know how your brother is probably feeling right now. How guilty he is that he's unable to supplement the household income, or provide you with money for schooling. And how undeserved that is. You also know that if you leave school to stretch out the savings he has, he's gonna be pissed." Jo was ticking off her fingers one by one as Sam nodded. "And you _also_ know that if we just try to straight up and give him money, he'll point blank refuse it. So by allowing us to help _you_ , we are actually helping Dean. And don't you want to help us help Dean?"

Sam leaned back and ran both hands through his mop of hair. "Well, of course I do. You know I do. This is just…wow. This has to be the most convoluted thing I have ever heard!"

"That’s just phase one!" Charlie piped in. "Wait till you hear about phase two!" Sam groaned and his hands came down out of his hair to rub down his face before falling into his lap so he could lean on his elbows.

"Do I want to even ask? What am I saying, just tell it to me."

"Sam, I've talked with the convention and gotten their cooperation on signing off on the fundraiser we did – "

"And still doing – it's going like, _super_ strong!" Charlie pushed Cas a little out of the way to get in closer to the webcam before he pulled her back and kept talking with barely a pause.

"At any rate, they agreed to endorse the fundraiser. We will therefore be able to present to Dean a good chunk of money under the guise of reparations from the con. As it cannot, therefore, be seen as charity, he would have to accept it."

Sam whistled, impressed.

"Damn, you guys are good. That's ingenious."  Charlie beamed and buffed her fingers across her shirt. Actually buffed her nails on her shirt this time around, instead of pretending and Jo started laughing.

"Why thank you, kind sir. It's great the others are finally acknowledging my genius." Castiel rolled his eyes fondly at her.

"What I don't get is, why are you telling me? Why risk that I wouldn't turn down the help when you could have disguised it easily as 'financial aid' of some sort?"

"Jo seemed to be under the impression that it would be best if _someone_ in the family knew of our intentions, and that maybe you might get suspicious of extra money popping up out of nowhere when you didn't apply for anything."

"Okay, I have to admit, she's not wrong." He paused, thoughtfully. "Should I take it that I am the only one in the family – besides Jo, of course – that knows what's going on?"

"You take it correctly. But not for long. Well, we won't reveal the whole truth of course, but we plan on 'unveiling' the money quite soon. You wouldn't _believe_ how successful the fundraiser was after my youtube video aired and both Cas and the convention officially 'endorsed' it."

"So now we're just trying to pick a good time to stop in and shock them all with it. We were wondering if you wanted us to wait till you were in town to be there at the same time?" Jo picked up after Charlie. Sam shook his head.

"Honestly, I'd want to be, but I can't get there anytime soon and I really wouldn't want to hold up something like this." He paused again, then leaned forward while flicking his eyes left and right, as if trying to make sure no one was listening in, even though he was in the privacy of his own dorm. "Dare I ask…how much exactly you guys were able to raise…?"

The trio in front of him seemed to grin madly at him as if they were one. Well, Castiel's smile wasn't nearly as wide as Jo's, which was nowhere near as wide as Charlie's, but each one had this odd mix of proud and mischievous and downright gleeful as Charlie started cackling maniacally.

"Oh, you will _never_ believe it…"


	24. Knitting Needles are Weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Garth, seriously, you didn't actually bring me yarn?"  
> "And a guitar!"  
> Dean sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I entertained the idea of dropping the above summary as the entire chapter. Pulling a Terry Pratchet...
> 
> Like, SERIOUSLY entertained. For humorous effect. But I finally decided not to when I realized I could just use it as a chapter summary (which i usually have sucky summaries, so this would be a step up) and that managed to curb my need.
> 
> In the future i'd like to note that while my chapters are all fairly short compared to other writers out there, i can assure you that my intentions are that if i ever get a SUPER Short chapter (like chapter 4, for instance), I always plan on having another one up right away to give you guys just a little more.
> 
> Hope you're enjoying this! Also, been working on a few more pieces of art for this story. When they're ready i'll edit them into the older chapters. Finished one last night, but I'd like to do several updates at once since they're not going up at the same time as the stories anyway.

Dean heard some enthusiastic knocking from the front door. He didn't get up, but instead dropped his head on his arms and sighed. Garth. It could only be Garth. Nobody else could sound that…that exuberant. He wasn't sure he had the energy to deal with Garth today, but it was too late to hide. He heard his mother's voice greet Garth at the door and lead him back into the kitchen where Dean had been keeping her company. For…her sake, of course. Right.

As the voices entered the kitchen, Dean raised his head and sat up straight. It was only polite, right? He heard the scrape of a chair as Garth pulled one out to sit, the rustle of a plastic bag and a small thunk. Garth had brought stuff with him? Oh God, why was he suddenly so wary? Dean restrained his eyebrows from flying up into his hair and turned in the direction of the sounds he'd heard.

"Good morning Dean! I'm sorry I couldn't get here any sooner, I had to catch up on my morning funnies first."

"Oh yeah, what's Marmaduke up to now?" Dean tried not to roll his eyes over Garths obsession with the cartoon dog.

"Never mind that now! I've come over for more important things. Like this!" Dean heard that plastic bag rustling again and then something soft was thrust into his hands. Dean jerked back at the suddenness of it, but then reached his hand out again to touch the soft strands. Strands of…

"Garth, seriously, you didn't actually bring me _yarn_?"

"And a guitar!"

Dean sighed and dropped his head into his hands. Again.

"Now don't be like that, Dean-o! This will be great! We can learn how to knit together. I found some books online to teach knitting to the blind, the instructions are so well done, I'm sure I can learn right along with you. We'll be stitchers in no time."

"How is a book going to help me? I can't see the pictures Garth." Dean didn't know much about knitting, but he knew that much. Knitters used pictures and diagrams to learn new stitches and to see what they'd be making and to design new ones themselves. They had a whole code of gibberish he couldn't even wrap his head around. One of his exes had been really invested in knitting and he couldn't help but trip over her supplies and knitting books.

"It's not for you, it's for me. I'm going to read the instructions to you and we'll both give it a shot.  Supposedly, a blind person wrote the book, so the instructions have _got_ to be very good."

A soft hand landed on his shoulder and rubbed at the tension there. "You boys have enough supplies for a third? I think I'd like to try it too."

"Sure thing, Mrs. W! I have all sorts of supplies, since I wasn't sure what was the best. Plus, there's all different sizes and I didn't know which to start with. You know what? We should invite Benny and Jo, have a real knitting circle class going on."

"Garth, I didn't agree to this." Dean felt like his life was spiraling out of his control. Every step forward seemed like multiple steps back.

"Sweetie, give it a try, would you?" His mother's soft voice cajoled him. He groaned, but relented.

"Fine, give me the sticks."

"Dude, they're knitting needles."

"Whatever. They look a lot like pointy sticks from what I remember."

Before he knew it, Dean was highly concentrated on the row of stitches he had on his knitting needle. It'd taken him a while to get there, and he'd kept dropping the damn things until they found another way for him to hold them, but he'd done it. And he was feeling inordinately pleased with himself. He beamed at his success and waited for Garth to tell him how to proceed. He didn't feel as bad about how long it took him, when he realized that his mother picked it up only a little faster than him and that Garth was having all sorts of issues, despite how clear the instructions seemed to be.

"Oh, okay, so if we hold it like this, Mrs. W –" Dean refrained from snorting. Garth was the only one his mother couldn't get to call her Mary. For some reason, he loved calling Deans mother like that, and similarly, his father. He wondered if it was just his parents or if he did it with other folks as well. "Right, so if that’s how we do that, here, move your fingers like this Dean." Garths hands started manipulating Deans as he explained the next step.

Hmm…Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. And if nothing else, he could always tell people the knitting needles were a weapon. He was sure with enough force, they'd hurt like hell. Not that he needed a weapon, but it made him feel better, regardless.


	25. Operation "Dean-Gate"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiels Agent tries to encourage the actor to do a cover up...and Castiel isn't having any of it.

Castiel fidgeted. He looked at his agent. His agent was going on some tirade or another. Again. Castiel wondered, again, if the agent he had was the right fit for him. He hadn't gone with his brother Michael for a reason. He'd figured that if it ever got out that they were related, people would claim he'd gotten his roles not for his skill, but only _because_ they were related. And it had gotten out, as Castiel had rightly feared, and now he was never more glad that he'd made that decision.

But it was days like this that made him regret it. He still hadn't been able to make any sense out of Crowley's aggravated words and was still uncertain why he'd been called to the carpet, so to speak. As usual, he just let him rant. Once Crowley had gotten it out of his system, he could repeat it all in calmer tones and terms and Castiel would finally be able to respond. The words finally wound down, the volume dropping immensely.

"Are you about done?" Castiel raised a cool eyebrow at Crowley. Crowley's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Did you seriously not listen to a word I just said?"

"I found it difficult to understand your spluttering. Could you try again in a manner capable of being understood?" Castiel inwardly winced at his tone and his wording. He was notoriously blunt on occasion, but Crowley seemed to bring out the worst in him. Again, he wondered if maybe there was somebody else that would be better suited to him.

"This is a PR nightmare!"

"What is?" Castiel asked sincerely. There had been no significant developments other than the bomb that had been dropped several weeks ago.

"How could you not _tell_ me something as important as _this_? Do you know what it's going to do to your career?"

"Crowley, I don't even know to what you are referring to. I thought we'd handled the whole situation with my brother already, and that we got positive support from doing the fundraiser? I know of no other recent developments that you could possibly be so fixated on."

"Of course you don't, darling. You're telling me, that you had no idea that you've outed yourself to the internet?" Crowley glared at him. Castiel stared up at him in surprise and confusion.

"There was no 'outing'. There couldn't have been since I've never made a secret of my orientation, so why is this a problem now? And how exactly did I 'out' myself anyway?" Castiel couldn't help the finger quotes. It was an urge he got often that he had to restrain. His agent rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"Because I've suppressed every rumor of it since we started, Cassie. Which has normally been pretty easy to do since you're usually so…discrete. So you should have been smarter if you were looking for a boyfriend and _not_ allowed it to get on the internet." He waved a hand dismissively at Castiel. What he meant, of course, was that Castiel didn't do one night stands and hadn't had any type of significant other in….Castiel frowned in thought. He couldn't remember the last time…had it been that long? He shook his head and glared at his agent. That wasn't the issue right now. What boyfriend was he talking about anyway? Castiel didn't have a boyfriend.

"I don't care if you've suppressed it or not. It is who I am and I'm not hiding that. So I don't see the problem." His frown deepened and his head tilted slightly. "You have not answered my question. How did I, apparently unknowingly, 'out' myself so significantly that it caused you a panic? I haven't been seeing anyone. There is no boyfriend." He repressed the pang that accompanied his words. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't _longing_ to see someone, a specific someone. A beautiful, rugged, green eyed someone. Get a grip on yourself, he thought. Focus.

  
  


His agent stalked back to his desk and angled the computer monitor around so Castiel could get a good look at it. He clicked the mouse a few times and a few windows, obviously saved or already opened, popped up. Some were videos, some were still captures. Each one was focused on him and Dean. The original video where his brother had spilled the beans had been cut up and focused on his interactions with Dean. Then there were photos and even a single video from his meet up with Dean at the bar, which included the look of panic on his face when he saw Dean go down and his reaction to Dean getting hurt. His eyebrows raised. Well…that was…pretty um…He was probably lucky Dean hadn't been able to see the expressions on his face. He might have scared him away. Castiel had been unaware of how his actions would be perceived at the time, he'd just reacted. He'd only known Dean a short time, but there was something there he wanted to pursue, a feeling he was already getting whenever he thought of the man.

"You were even seen leaving his room on the Sunday after. You were recognized at the hospital. Your level of concern for a mere fan is…certainly overwhelming. Unless there's an underlying cause. And your fans have certainly picked up on it. These were all on YouTube and Tumblr. And while _some_ of your fans seem…obsessively okay with it…there are others that are causing an outcry."

Castiel stared at him. The silence stretched into long moments as the videos continued to play on a loop on Crowley's monitor.

"I don't understand the problem."

"You can't be gay, Castiel."

"But I am. And I can't change that, Crowley. Nor would I if I could. This is how I am, and this is like anything else I do – not everyone will be happy. They just need to leave my private life out of it, as it has no bearing on who I am as an actor. And it's _your_ job to put a positive spin on it because guess what, I won't be hiding this under a rug. So now you need to suck it up and deal, or I'll find myself a new agent."  Castiel was fuming. "In fact, I may anyway."

"You won't get one. You're stuck with me, and if I say you can't be gay, then you won't be."

"What do you mean I won't get one?"

"I'll make sure of it."

"You are sadly mistaken if you think threats like that would work on me. We're done Cowley." Castiel rose and stalked to the door, infuriated that Crowley could think he had any power of him like that.

"Walk away, darling! It'll be the last thing you ever do! I'll make sure you won't get another agent and I'll make sure you won't get another part." Castiel turned to look at him.

"Maybe not, but I doubt it. At any rate, I still have two movies on contract that we finalized last week. I'm good for a few years at least."

"You'll regret this Castiel."

"No, I really won't." Castiel let the door slam on his words. It was time to talk to his brother. And maybe a lawyer. Shit.


	26. Challenge Accepted!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo interrupts Dean while he's knitting to get him caught up on certain current events, and winds up being challenged in knitting....

Jo stormed into Dean's room without so much as a courtesy knock. She caught him sitting on his bed with a tangle of yarn and knitting needles with a weird, lumpy square in his hand. He looked up reflexively, surprised.

"Uh…." He managed.

"Wow, Winchester. Can you be any more of a girl?" Jo snarked good naturedly. He blushed a furious red and went to drop the needles, but then stopped.

"Hold that thought Jo." His hands moved the needles a few times, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth in concentration, head bent down despite not being able to see, and looping yarn around until whatever he had been working on – maybe it was a washcloth? – was all secured on one needle. It was only then that he allowed it to drop into his lap, leaving his hands free.

"Knitting Dean? Seriously?" he blushed again, but managed to ground out a few words.

"It keeps me buys Jo, plus mom and I are learning at the same time and it…makes her happy. It's actually, not that bad. Maybe you should join Garths classes." He smirked at her. "We could make a bet on it? That I make a scarf before you do?"

"You're on." She grinned and grabbed his hand for a shake.

  
  


"Now, what had you storming in here like someone had just killed your kitten?" She flopped on the bed almost landing on the knitting needles and groaned.

"Ugh…it’s a mess."

"What? Jo, tell me what's going on? Is something wrong? Tell me everything is okay with you? Wait, did you and Charlie break up?" Dean started getting anxious, and the longer she was silent, the more awful things his brain conjured up. She sat up quickly.

"No! God no, we're good. _I'm_ good. It's Castiel…" She paused and his eyes widened, his mouth opened and she rushed to fill in, "He's, um…he's having some publicity issues."

"Okay," Dean drew out the word and waited. Silence. "So, what happened?"

"Well, so, yeah um…the internet figured out he's gay, right?"

"He is?"

"Yeah Dean, he is. Isn't that what Charlie was telling you right from the start?"

"Well, yeah, I guess but…"

"You didn't believe it because you thought it was too good to be true. I'm right, aren't I?"

"Maybe." He mumbled.

"Okay, so did you want me to finish this?" He nodded. "So, like I said, the internet found out he was gay because of all the videos from the last con." Dean's heart hurt at the thought. He'd hoped that Castiel and he had a real connection, even as he had known it couldn't be true. But this just drove it home. He must have been with someone else that weekend….Before Dean could spiral down any further into his thoughts, he felt a slap on the back of the head.

"Idjit. The videos were of you. Not just the video when you two first met, but when you got hurt. Dean, I wish…you could see the look on his face. Don’t doubt yourself or him. Seriously." She finished quietly, grabbing his hands in her own. He ducked his head down. Damn it all, he felt like his damn neck was going to be permanently red these past few weeks.  He cleared his throat.

"So. Gay. Okay…what's wrong with that?"

"Well, apparently, his agency flipped out and tried to get him to cover it up. Then when he refused, they tried to blackmail him. Or black list him? Or something. Told him he'd never get another job or agent if he didn't pretend to be straight."

"What the hell?!"

"I know, right? Thankfully, his agent was an idiot and forgot that there was one agency he couldn't blacklist Castiel from."  Dean looked at her with an eyebrow raised in a, _yeah, go on_ gesture."His brother Michael is a movie agent. Hell, he founded his own company. The only reason Cas didn't go there first was because of that whole secret he'd been keeping. But now he doesn't have a choice."

"Well, that’s good then." Dean stopped and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Wait, how do you know all this?"

"I've been keeping in contact with Charlie of course! Sometimes we Skype, and sometimes Cas is there. If you want, we can do that together? Though I'm not sure Cas will be available right now. The whole thing got messy and he and his brothers are trying to clean it up. I still can't believe anyone would try that shit. But whatever, even if he's not there, I'm sure Charlie would pass messages on for you."

"Um, no, I think I'm good. I mean, not sure what I'd even pass on, you know?" Dean bit his lip and Jo rolled her eyes.

"Deaaaaan."

"I mean it Jo. Sure, okay, I'll admit it. I _do_ like him but…he's a big time actor and I'm a nobody. Even worse, I'm a blind nobody. He could have anyone he wanted, so long as his agents done trying to screw over his dating pool, so somebody's gotta be realistic here. And that's me. Cause honestly, what chance have I even got? And there's no way I can even 'step up' my game like this." Jo sighed and rolled her eyes again as Dean waved his arm at himself. Why was her best friend so determined to shoot himself in the foot before he even tried to start the race? And was there anything she and Charlie could do to get these two idjits together where they so obviously belonged?

 


	27. The Best Laid Plans...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel seeks help from his brother Michael in regards to Crowley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if i should stop posting at night. does that make a difference i wonder? 
> 
> Okay, so i noticed that I seem to have more Dean-centered chapters than Cas centered ones. I'm working on that. But Deans got more to deal with then Cas so, it seems to flow better that way.
> 
> So far the character breakdown up to chapter 27 is as follows:  
> Dean = 20  
> Cas = 12  
> Both of them are in 5 together.

"This is a mess." Were the first words Michael spoke after Castiel walked into his office, sat down and proceeded to tell him why he was there.   
  
"Brother, I didn't do anything wrong."   
  
"I know you didn't, Jimmy."   
  
"It's Castiel now."  Michael sighed and rubbed his head like he was trying to stave off a headache. Castiel could understand. He felt like he'd had a headache for days now.   
  
"Does it even matter anymore?" Castiel just looked at Michael in response. His family might not understand, but he'd spent years building himself an identity as Castiel Novak instead of James Milton, and it felt like it belonged more than the name he'd been born with.  Michael may not have understood why Castiel didn't simply revert to his original name, but he ceded the point. "Okay, fine. Moving on. You do realize that all of this could have been avoided if you'd just signed on with Angel Agents to begin with, right?"   
  
Castiel started to protest and Michael dropped his hand to gesture him to stop and continued speaking. "I know, I know, it's all water under the bridge. I even get why you did it, I do. I just don't think going to all those extremes was necessary. Honestly, even _if_ the first role or two you had gotten was due to nepotism, it wouldn't have mattered. Because with your caliber of skill, anyone would have seen quickly that you deserved it. In fact, they would have been stupid not to have seen it. You have gotten where you are _because_ of that skill. I don't think it would have been any less evident if you'd gone with us." Michael leaned forward.   
  
"Look, Ji - Castiel, We're proud of you. All of us are. You set out to prove yourself on your own and you did that. There's no harm in coming back to us now. But no matter where you are, who you or your agents are, or who you're with, there will always be negativity among the fans.  I don't know. It's like it's some necessary evil required just to balance out the positive. As an actor, you should already know this."   
  
"I do, Michael. I get it. And that's one of the many reasons why I had to leave the other agency. They were so unwilling to let me be who I am for fear of the fan responses. I am an actor, not a liar. I act on camera for the joy of others and myself. While it is enjoyable to explore other personalities and adventures, when I'm not on set, I want to relax, not continue to act as someone else. If I followed Crowley's advice, even if I was willing to do so, which I was not, I fear I would have burnt out much sooner than any would have expected."   
  
"Well then, let's tackle this one problem at a time. First, your secret about your family connections coming out. Now, I hate to admit it, but to be fair, Crowley did a good job handling that one."   
  
"It was all truth."   
  
"Yes, it was. But he's not above spinning a few lies to get his results."   
  
"I've...discovered." Castiel's voice was bitter.   
  
"So, second issue - non-issue really. You being homosexual. If this was 20 years ago, things might be a little different. But I foresee no problems there. I'll assign a team to keep tabs on that and appraise you of anything in particular that might get raised, but I'm not worried." Castiel nodded, starting to relax. "The biggest issue really is your break from Crowley. As I said, he's not above spinning a few lies to get what he wants. And you've angered him. He's got a reputation for being vindictive. Which, thankfully, will play in our favor. Others in our business will know to be wary of what he says. Also, you were right that you're set for the next couple years with your current contract. It's afterwards, when he's had time to move against you while you're sitting in place that could be the issue. I'm going to have to start working on things now to head that off. I’m thinking, maybe put you on some talk shows, spin your break with his agency in a more positive light. Maybe like a 'coming back to the fold' kind of thing, now that your secret is out? We could build on the work he's already done for that. We'll need to start looking into future projects soon as well. Get those locked in before he can do any real damage. Once you've worked with these people they'll remember he's all bluster."   
  
Castiel nodded, fully relaxing now, a small smile forming. "This all sounds quite reasonable."   
  
"Now, on to other current events. Let's get to know the you that's happening right now. I saw the videos from AngelCon, and I've seen the follow ups with that YouTuber, ah..." Michael shuffled the papers in front of his desk. "Charlie Bradbury, right?" Castiel nodded. He had been so busy of late, he hadn't realized that he and Michael, and most of the rest of his family, hadn't really had more than fleeting get togethers. No real amount of time to keep up on the minutia of each other's lives. And therefore Michael had no idea that Charlie was actually a very good friend and not some random internet video star. "I think it's great, especially for your image, to help out with that fund-raiser for that poor man." Castiel narrowed his eyes.   
  
"It's not part of an image. It was something both Charlie and I wanted to do for him."'   
  
"Maybe not, brother, but it still looks good on you and that's good for us. So I'm not going to argue it. Now, who is he? Is the internet right? Have you finally found time for a boyfriend?"   
  
Castiel flushed and cleared his throat, trying to look Michael in the eye but failing. Michael started to grin knowingly at him. "Er, um...well, we only just met, Michael. We're really not much of anything but um, acquaintances."   
  
"But...?" His brother prodded. Castiel was burning red now as he wiped a hand across his face and groaned. Michael started to laugh. "You want there to be something, don't you?"   
  
"He was very nice. And talented and there's just....something...but I don't think..." Castiel trailed off helplessly, pointedly refusing to look at his brother now. Michael continued to laugh at how flustered his second youngest sibling looked.   
  
"Well then, I wish you luck." Michael's laughter softened to the occasional snicker and Castiel pinched the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. He loved his family, he did. But they were all such busy bodies. And now that Michael knew  _something_  was up, he was afraid he might try to scheme with Gabriel, and that's  _all_  he needed now to make his life complete. His friends and family scheming about his love life. He just needed to admit it. He was doomed, wasn't he?


	28. Michael's Fishing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael tries to fish information out of Gabriel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the first chapter that has neither Castiel or Dean in it, but I think it works :D

Michael looked over at his younger brother Gabriel as he lounged in his chair, a lollipop bulging in his cheek. He mentally shook his head and Gabriel's child like personality.

"Do you know why I've called you hear?"

"Not a clue brother," he slurped around his lollipop rather than taking it out.

"It involves our brother." Michael said.

"Which one, big cheese?" Michael rolled his eyes at Gabriel's response but looked on him fondly. It was strange how little the brothers and Anna resembled each other, both in looks and personality. It made for an interesting family dynamic, but at least get togethers were never boring. And at least they _mostly_ got along. Lucifer sure pushed the boundaries sometimes, but even he got along with the rest of them. Mostly. When Michael wasn't resisting the urge to punch him in the face. But he held back in deference to their parents, Chuck and Naomi.

"Which one has been getting the most attention lately, Gabriel?"

"Oh, _that_ one. What do you need to talk about Cassie for?"

"Can you at least respect his choice in name and call him what he _wishes_ to be called?"

"Hey, at least I'm not calling him Jimmy! Do you know how hard that habit was to break?" Michael eyed him. "Okay, of course, you know. But still, Cassie is a perfectly acceptable nickname based on that angelical one he picked out."

"You know he doesn't like it." Michael stated flatly. Gabriel shrugged unrepentantly.

"What are brothers for?" He broke out with a wide, sly grin. Michael sighed in response. There really was no changing Gabriel, so why did he try? Time to move on and get to the point.

"I wanted to ask you about the guy from AngelCon." He didn't make it a question. Gabriel responded anyway. He straightened up from his lounging posture and settled both feet on the ground and leaned forward, elbows on knees and gave Michael the most serious look he'd ever seen coming from Gabriel. Michael straightened up in response as well, though with him it hardly showed. He'd been sitting up straight already.

"Oooooh, so you saw it too?"

"The videos are all over YouTube. There was no avoiding it. And anyway, as his new agent, it was imperative that I find out everything he'd been up to recently."

"Oho! Castiel finally caved, did he? He should have been with us since the beginning!" Gabriel crowed.

"Yes, well, things didn't end well at Hellhounds Agency, if you haven't heard the news yet."

"I heard. Crowleys a dick. In fact, he's a big bag of dicks." Gabriel said grimly. Another unusual expression from him, Michael mused. But it was with surprise that he asked,

"Really? I thought that insult was reserved for Lucifer?"

"Nah, reserved for special douches, is all." Gabriel grinned without humor. Michael simply nodded.

"Anyway, Gabriel, I saw the videos _and_ I talked to Castiel yesterday. He was…flustered and all manner of evasive when I brought up the young man and promptly refused to speak of him. I don't even know his name."

"Dean Winchester." Gabriel supplied. Michael relaxed back in his sea and brought his hands up under his chin.

"What can you tell me about Dean? How badly was he hurt? I noticed that was something Castiel refused to allow public, to respect Dean's privacy."

"Don't know how much longer that will last. I'm surprised it's lasted this long. Someone's bound to leak it at some point." Michael just nodded and gave a 'get on with it' gesture. "Okay, so, I haven't actually talked to Dean myself for more than the minute you've seen in the first video. But I do know he's a mechanic, he lives in Kansas and he's apparently a really good artist, if Castiel's fascination is anything to go by." Gabriel pulled the stick out of his mouth and looked at it mournfully, all the candy gone before he sighed and flicked it into the trash can beside Michael's desk. Michael winced, and refrained for heaving a sigh of relief when it didn't miss.

"Continue, Gabriel." He made an impatient gesture. Gabriel held up a finger as he stood up and patted down his pockets. Finally he pulled another lollipop out with a cry of triumph, unwrapped it and promptly stuck it in his mouth. "How do you _not_ have diabetes?"

"Fast metabolism." Gabriel smirked. "So, at the bar later that night, I saw them together, but didn't interfere. I couldn't hear them either, but they pored over that sketchbook and shared a few beers for a while. Everything looked like it went well.  There was definitely mutual attraction, though neither of them acted on it. It was when Dean went to leave that shit hit the fan."

"Yes, that was caught on video as well. And I well remember yours and Balthazar's part in that fight."

"Hey, we didn't start anything. We tried to stop it!"

"I know, I know. And we already handled that, but it was reckless Gabe. You and Balthazar could have been seriously hurt. You could have jeopardized your careers."

"Brother, are you saying we should have let Dean continue to get trampled? Maybe Cassie as well? You must have seen how fast he got up to help him."

"No, no of course not Gabe, you did the right thing." The darker haired man ran a hand down his face. "Unofficially, of course."

"Glad you approve. So um, I don’t really know how badly Dean was hurt. I know he took a blow to the head and he had to go to the hospital. He didn't return till the next day and he booked it out of there before the con was over."

"Our brother always was very good at being discrete."

"He is at that. I think he does it because he knows it gets under our skins."

"Hmm….You might be right."


	29. Home Evaluations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alfie finally comes in for the home visit to evaluate how Dean his coping and how he interacts with his environment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Note one** I edited up to chapter 11 to add in 6 more pictures :D
> 
> **Note two**  
>  So, my eyesight is really not that good. I'm not blind, but I can't do much without my glasses. I've always been afraid of going blind, and so I've imagined often how that would impact me and how i would learn to cope. This would be particularly hard on me because I'm an artist, first and foremost, it is one of my favorite things to do and one day wish I could get it to be more than a hobby. But if i lost my sight...i just don't know how i'd react...
> 
> Also, i have no idea if a watch / clock like this exists, but its gotta! and if it doesn't, it should.

The next morning came too quickly for Dean. He was feeling all sorts of anxious over a 'home' visit from that blind place, no matter how nice that kid Alfie had seemed. Because of this, he knocked his glass over at breakfast no less than three times, and screeched his fork across his plate so _many_ times that he finally just winced and gave up.

His mother tried to make some soothing sounds and assurances, but Dean was just too keyed up. He wasn't even sure why. Yeah, he was probably gonna look pretty dumb with all the things he couldn't possibly do…but then again, that was why Alfie was coming here, to help him adjust so he wouldn't feel so dumb. What did Dean think, that he should have a head start on being able to cope when he'd only been like this for, what, two weeks?

His initial home visit had been postponed due to some sort of emergency on Alfies end and Dean had only been too happy to be able to put it off. But today was the day this grace period ended. Man, he didn't want to do this. He just felt so stupid. Dean groaned and cradled his head in his hands, the scruff on his face scratching against his bare arm.

Bones started barking a split second before the doorbell whined, there was a fumble and then some knocking could be heard. Dean winced. He was supposed to have fixed that before he'd gone to AngelCon, and now he couldn't. The doorbell could barely be heard at all, and what was heard was very sickly sounding. Maybe he should have his mother tape a note over the bell "Please Knock". He snorted.

"Hello, won't you come in?" He heard his mother in the front room. Dean still lay with his head on the table, trying to muster up the energy to pick it back up and face the day.

"Thank you Mrs. Winchester."

"Call me Mary."

"Okay." Came the cheerful tone of Alfie.

"Would you like to see Dean first, or should I give you a tour of the house or…um…" Dean snorted again, imagining his mother twisting her hands together as she tried to figure out what to do.

"Why don't you give me a tour first? I can give you pointers or tips on the best way to arrange things to help out in day to day life and then I can talk to Dean and see how he interacts in a familiar environment. That would be very helpful."

Dean sighed and left his head where it was. It seemed he'd have a little reprieve, however short. Annnnd, short it was. Before he knew it, he heard his mothers and Alfie's voices coming closer to the kitchen. He assumed she'd left that for last since was there and Alfie would sit and talk with Dean as soon as they met up again. He repressed yet another sigh and lifted his head, turning it towards the doorway just as they entered.

"Hey sweetie, Alfie's here."

"Yeah, I know mom. Hey." He nodded at Alfie and wondered what he looked like. Would he always wonder what new people looked like, or would he get used to them and forget that he didn't know after prolonged contact? He wondered what people who were born blind thought folks looked like, and pondered whether it was better or worse to not have any way to formulate an idea. At least if someone described it to Dean, he could get an somewhat accurate picture, and as an artist he had a pretty good imagination.

"How are you doing today Dean?"

"Just peachy." He said flatly, mustering up a smile.

"All right, well walk me through your day. And I mean that literally. I'd like to follow you around your usual haunts of the house, see what activities you try to do and such. Tell me what you do in your spare time, to keep yourself from going crazy."

Dean snorted out a laugh as he stood up.

"Oh yeah, crazy is right. All right then, follow me. I guess the paths I know the best around here are the ones between my bedroom, the bathroom and the kitchen."

"Hmmm….Yes, all vital places. How do you deal with the dog? He's not trained to deal with blind people I'd assume, so how has that been going?"  He could hear Alfie's voice behind him as he made his way out of the kitchen into the hallway.

"Ehh…..we got him a bell for when he's moving. That helps a lot. Now we just gotta teach him not to sleep in the hallway." Alfie gave a small laugh.

"Ah yes, that does seem to be the way of most pets. Sleeping wherever is the most inconvenient for us. My cat likes to sleep on my laptop. Which is all well and good, unless I was typing on it at the time." Dean let out a good laugh about that.

"Cats man, what are you gonna do? At least the dog can't do that to me! Okay, so this is my room. I know my bed is right there, against the left wall," Dean pointed, "And the closet is to the right, with my dresser between the bed and the closet. I've asked mom to move the lamp off so I don't knock it over when I'm fumbling around for my water or my phone."  Dean snorted. "These are the days I wish I had a flip phone, or one with a pull out keyboard on it or _something_. I can't feel what I'm touching, man. How am I supposed to use the phone? About all I can do is answer it." He reached up and tapped his ear, Alfie noticing a bud wrapped around the shell.

"Bluetooth?"

"Yup." Alfie stepped past him and Dean remained where he was, unsure of what to do next. He could hear him moving about the room, looking but not touching anything. He assumed. He hoped. Please don't open my sketchbooks, he thought.

"So, hobbies? I see sketchbooks, a guitar and a lot of yarn. Are any of these new?"

"Not the sketchbooks, I can assure you of that." Dean's tone was bitter, but then he pushed it aside and spoke again. "Nah, sorry man. Okay, so my friend Garth showed up with the guitar and the knitting umm…last week I think? I've actually um…done more work with the knitting. I don't know how well it looks but its, kinda relaxing."

"That’s surprising. Most people would go with the guitar first. While both have a nice tactile sensation and keeps your fingers busy, the guitar has an aural component that’s quite pleasing."  He looked at Dean appraisingly, though he couldn't see it. Alfie did notice that Mary had come up behind Dean and was trying to be unobtrusive. He was unsure if Dean had noticed or not. Deans face got a little red as he ducked his head and mumbled.

"Uh, yeah, well, I just…didn't like anyone to hear me or to, you know, disturb anyone. Plus, I can't really tell what time of day it is, so I mean, at least if I wake up in the middle of the night and think it's morning, I won't wake anyone up with knitting."

"Wow, that’s very admirable of you Dean. Also, your knitting is fantastic  - not just for somebody who just learned, but for someone who can't see what they're doing? I can assure you, I've seen worse attempts by sighted people. You're doing well. This is good. So far, I'm liking what I'm seeing and I have a few suggestions for short term solutions."  Alfie moved  back to the doorway where Dean was standing just inside of, while his mother stood just outside. "Why don't you continue to give me your tour?"

The tour was short, but suited Alfies purposes quite well and he was heartened by what he saw. Dean had a confidence in the 'vital' areas he had named that was wonderful. He was more hesitant in other areas, but he went slowly. Alfie suggested a cane for use in unfamiliar areas. Dean gave him a confused look and he explained how it would be used outside of his familiar places, and how it would also allow people to know to be patient with him.  Dean grumbled that he didn't want special treatment or charity and Alfie attempted to reassure him that it wasn't anything that he – or any other blind person – didn't deserve.

"People _need_ to realize, however awkward they may feel about it, when the person they are interacting with is blind. When a blind person doesn't react to something a sighted person can, than people can become angry, nasty. They assume that you are being rude or disrespectful. By using the cane, or sunglasses, it's not that you're asking for special treatment. You're asking for understanding. You're asking them to be aware that 'I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to ignore your frantic attempts to get my attention for whatever reason you need it. I honestly can't see you, please speak to me with your mouth and not your hands.' "

Dean pondered that. It made sense and made him feel a little less self conscious, though he still didn't like the idea of going into public and basically wearing a neon sign saying "Look at me! I'm disabled!"  Even though he knew that being disabled didn't mean being less than capable. He knew that objectively, but he couldn't help how he felt about it now that it was affecting him personally. He kept imagining how others would view him, how they'd treat him as less than he was. All this despite that he'd never do the same, yet he was believed they would of him.

He let out a puff of air and nodded. "Okay, so a cane. Okay… um…what else did you have in mind?"

Alfie started talking excitedly. Dean heard the rustle of paper and knew Alfie must be writing something down, probably the suggestions he was making to both Dean and Mary.

"Right, so a cane. A special clock – preferably watch, actually – one that Dean can press for a spoken time check. I'll write places down where you can find one. I wouldn't advise Braille just yet. Not a lot of blind people are actually fluent in it what with the possibilities of technology these days rendering it almost obsolete for reading books. Most people these days just find audio of what they want. And you don't even know yet if you'll need it, really. But you could learn some shorthand to use to identify things around the house. You can use puffy paint on various flat surfaces; you can also tie strings and ribbons around certain things to identify them. Like bottles in the fridge that Dean might want. Or so he can identify the aspirin in the medicine cabinet. Things like that."

"These all sound very do-able." Mary said, sitting beside Dean, rubbing her hand on his back.

"Yeah it…uh, doesn't sound too terribly hard to adjust too. Thanks, man."

"No problem. And of course, there are other ideas, for other situations, but let's start with this. It's a lot. We'll want to schedule regular visits to the school so Dean can practice in unfamiliar situations where he won't feel quite so…exposed." Dean flushed at having been so transparent but he nodded.

"Yeah, uh, " he cleared his throat. "That sounds good."

"Dean, you're doing great. You're holding up really well." Dean felt a hand clap down on his shoulder gently, in a show of camaraderie and encouragement. "It's something to be proud of, and I hope that you allow yourself to be."  Dean ducked his head again, flushing red - again Dammit! – Uncomfortable as usual with the praise. His mother suddenly threw her arms around him and he could feel her smile against his face it was so wide.

"I told you we could do it Dean, that you could do it. I have a good feeling about all this." He hugged her back, holding her tight and closing his eyes. He swallowed against the tight lump in his throat and just nodded.


	30. To the Winchester Home, Jeeves...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally meet up again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strangely enough, I had this chapter written like 8 chapters ago. But i knew it was too soon so i held off. I just gave it a once over and added the finishing touches to give it a proper cutting off place, and now its ready to post.
> 
> Did I just notice that this makes 30 (THIRTY!) chapters?  
> I hope you guys are enjoying it :D

"Go three and one quarter miles. Destination will be on the right." Castiel listened to the GPS repeatitself as Charlie chattered on beside him. His stomach was in knots, uncertain of his reception. He hadn't been able to reach out to Dean directly since the convention. He'd been kept busy and it had been like pulling teeth just to be able to be here now. In the meantime, he'd passed messages through Charlie and Jo, but now that they were almost at Dean's house, he was wondering if this was a good idea.

Before he knew it, Charlie had come to a stop alongside a worn but cheery house with what looked like…a…car wash free for all going on?  Castiel squinted out the window. There was classic rock playing loudly and there was Dean, barefoot and sporting only a pair of shorts as he leaned over a familiar looking black muscle car that was covered in soap. Frankly, so was he and Castiel tried not to drool.

"You missed a spot!" came the voice of Jo from the grass beside the driveway where she sat with a couple of unknown men, and an older woman. Dean turned and leaned back on the car, tossing his sponge at her. It missed, and Castiel tried not to snort even though they couldn't have possibly heard him. Charlie could, he reminded himself.

"You're not very helpful, Harvelle!"

"Yeah, like you'd let _any_ of us touch your baby!"

"Damn right! It was bad enough I had to let you drive her."

"Well, looks like they're having fun." Charlie noted with a side glance to Castiel. "You uh, got a little drool there." She smirked.

"I do not."

"You so do." She crowed smugly. He continued to stare, not making a move to get out of the car, reluctant to intrude. Charlie shook her head and pulled out her phone and started typing.

_::Yo Jo! We have arrived! But lover boy here is frozen, with drool running down his face and can't get out of the car.::_

She hit send and watched as Jo reached into her pocket for her phone.  Jumping up and dropping the phone as soon as she'd read it, Charlie heard a whoop before she saw Jo come running over to the bright yellow Bug. The rest of the people in the yard all seemed to pause, and seemed to stare. Except Dean, of course, who hadn't even bothered to stop rubbing a fresh sponge around the car he was washing.

 Charlie got out of the car and the two met in a hug and a quick kiss. Castiel got out of the car a lot slower and stood awkwardly. One of the men, he noticed, with a close cropped beard, blue eyes and a fisherman's cap leaned over to turn the music down. Another, very lanky, skinny guy with aviators on gave a very cheerful wave.

"Hola!"

"Hey everyone, I want you to meet Charlie. Charlie, you already know Dean. These are Benny, Garth, and last but not least, Dean's mom, Mary."

"Nice to meet you all. I hope you don't mind, I picked up a hitchhiker on the way in…" Charlie grinned and grabbed Castiels' arm, dragging him forward. He stumbled at the sudden pull. He tore his eyes off Dean to be met with a bemused stare from Benny, a warm smile from Mary and that continued exuberance of Garth as he ran up for a vigorous handshake. Castiel managed to refrain from flinching back in surprise as the man was suddenly in his face. Barely.

"Charlie, you didn't _really_ pick up a hitchhiker, did you?" Dean dropped the sponge into the bucket and called out.

"No, she did not. Hello Dean." Castiel rumbled out.

"Cas? Man, what are you doing here?" Dean gave a shy grin and Benny tried not to chortle aloud. Mary eyed Benny warningly before moving forward to great Castiel.

"Are you the young man who helped my son out a few weeks ago?"

"I um, yes."  This time he couldn't restrain himself completely when she launched herself at him and enveloped him in a hug, causing him to stumble back a little before he could catch himself, his arms splayed out for balance.

"It's a hug, Cas…." Castiel glared at Charlie before he regained his balance and wrapped his arms around Mary and awkwardly patted her back after a moment.

"It's um…nice to meet you, Mrs. Winchester."  She stepped back and grinned at him as their arms fell to their sides.

"Just call me Mary, please. Would you like a drink?"

"No, I'm good, thank you."

"Well, all right then. But if you change your mind, be sure to let me know. Meantime, I need to check the oven."  Mary patted Castiel on the cheek, turned and strode inside.  There was silence for a moment that Charlie and Jo ended quickly by cooing over each other. Garth continued to grin as Benny rolled his eyes at him, then put forth his own hand for Castiel.

"Nice to meet you, brotha. We've heard a fair bit about you."

"Benny…" Dean moaned. Benny chuckled and moved away back towards Garth, leaving Castiel to do whatever he wanted. Which was to go over to Dean and greet him properly, so he did.

"So this is Baby?" Castiel gave Deans car an appraising look. "She's just as beautiful in person as in your sketches." He watched Dean blush as he mumbled out a thank you. The silence that descended was thick with uncertainty. Casting about for something to say after complimenting Dean had caused him to become flustered, Castiel latched onto the first thing he could think of and refrained from groaning when he realized what he was saying. "Is…your mother…always, um…?" Castiel paused awkwardly, trying to think how to word his question. Dean leaned back against the car, bracing his arms behind him as he chuckled.

"Yeah, pretty much. I can only imagine how you looked a few minutes ago, if Charlie had to remind you what a hug was." Dean couldn't see the look Castiel shot him, of course, as he shook his head and sighed.

"I know what a hug is. I was just…I didn't expect…it was so sudden…" he stammered out. Dean started outright laughing as his hands slipped off the car and he bent forwards. Castiel grinned, even if Dean was laughing at his expense, it seemed like he was doing better than Castiel had feared.

"Oh man, oh god, now I really wish I coulda seen that…" his laughing tapered off, sobering. After a moment of catching his breath, he sighed, his face gone suddenly serious as he straightened up, groping behind him for the car and leaning against it again, this time folding his arms over his chest as he settled.

"So uh, not that it isn't nice to uh…meet up again, but what _are_ you doing here?"

"It's a…little bit of a story. Though without it, I would have been in contact sooner. I am sorry about that." Dean waved an arm dismissively, before dropping it back on his chest.

"Don't worry about it Cas. You've got obligations, I know. Besides, I've been…pretty busy myself, y'know, just…learning. Stuff. About all this." He lifted his arm again and gestured at his eyes. "I've uh…kinda been a mess. And maybe a little grouchy."

"Moody, Winchester. The word is moody." Jo called out.

"Whatever. I haven't exactly been a joy to be around, is all." Dean grumped.

"I would have understood, Dean." Castiel debated for at least two second before he allowed his hand to clasp at Deans shoulder as he had instinctively wanted to do. He hoped it wasn't too forward, too awkward. Dean seemed to turn a little red as he ducked his head down a little.

"Uh, sure, thanks Cas." Castiel couldn't seem to stop himself from staring at Dean as they talked. He looked good, the blindness doing nothing to disguise the vibrant green of his eyes. The hardship having not squelched the determined air and good humor of the man. And a shirtless Dean was a definite bonus. A wet, shirtless Dean. Very wet. Very shirtless. Castiel had to rein in his thoughts and smother a groan before it escaped him. He'd landed himself into a special kind of Hell, hadn't he? Yet as he watched Dean throw his head back and laugh, Castiel couldn't help smiling and thinking that he didn't regret it at all.


	31. The Big Fundraising Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heart to heart between Charlie, Jo, Dean, Cas and Mary as they discuss the fundraiser...how will Dean react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think i need to go to bed.  
> i don't have a beta, i read, re-read and triple read everything on my own. if you see anything off please let me know.

It wasn't long before everybody helped Dean clean up all the sponges and stuff he'd been using to wash his Impala and wandered inside the house. Mary fussed over everyone getting drinks and set up in the living room which was, strangely enough, devoid of John Winchester, while Dean took his time to head back to his room, dry off and change.

 When Jo had arrived earlier, she hadn't even gone inside, so she was surprised to note that John was missing. He never left the house these days, and rarely left the living room except for his own bed. Never one to stay quiet, she decided to satisfy her curiosity.   
  
"Hey Mary, where's John?" Mary continued to pass out drinks while she replied.   
  
"Oh, he's meeting up with Bobby today." Jo's mouth dropped open as she stared at Mary, and then glanced over at Dean who had returned by then and didn't seem surprised at all. He was, instead, leaning toward Castiel, listening intently whenever he spoke. Garth would interject occasionally while Benny tried to rein him in, giving Dean and the actor a knowing sort of look. Jo smirked at the two of them and shared a conspiratorial look with Benny. Looks like she and Charlie had another ally. She'd need to find a way to make use of that. Thoughts of John not being there were quickly chased out of her head without her even realizing it.

The six of them sat around in the warm and cozy living room while Deans mother bustled around in the kitchen. Benny tried to offer to help, but she turned him down and consequently any other ideas the others had of offering. The open plan of the house gave a very good view between both rooms, allowing for easy interaction without too much yelling.

"You're all going to stay for dinner, won't you?"

"I'd love to, Mrs. W!" there was a thud from under the coffee table and Garth grimaced. Benny looked a little too innocent and Castiel narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "But uh…I gotta thing…I can't stay. Sorry! You know I wouldn't miss your cooking if I didn't really have to go!"

"I understand, sweetie. You be sure to drop by again." She smiled sweetly at the exuberant man as he stood up to gather his things.

"That's me as well. Gotta run. You stay good, brotha." He clapped Dean on the shoulder as he went by, Mary catching both him and Garth for hugs before they could leave.

"That goes for you you too, Benny."

"Of course, thank you." Benny and Garth both waved as they were sent off with a chorus of "goodbyes" and "See you laters".

"Well, they sure were in a hurry. Wonder what's up with them?" Dean spoke into the silence, amused.

"Well, dinners ready so I hope everyone's hungry!" Dean was barely beaten to the table in the mad rush for food, Castiel trailing behind at a more sedate pace than the rest of them. The table was soon groaning with food. Castiel and Charlie both noticed it was all finger foods. Burgers, chips, fries, hot dogs and sausages, corn on the cob, bread, onion rings, drumsticks….it went on and on. And everything tasted really well. Castiel may have moaned around his burger. Several times.  He hoped no one had noticed.

He didn't get his wish.

"Mom's a great cook, isn't she Cas?" Dean grinned around a mouthful of his own burger.

"I would have to agree. These burgers are particularly amazing!"

Talking was at a minimum as they demolished the food, each of them going back for seconds and even thirds. Finally, one by one, they all leaned back to digest their food. Castiel sighed at the pleasantly full – almost  _too_  full – feeling in his stomach as Dean licked the grease off his fingers before finding a napkin. Castiel tried not to stare.

"Dessert?" Deans mother pressed.

"Oh god no, not yet. I'm too full" Groaned Charlie. Jo snickered. "So, as much as we've enjoyed just being here, and as much as we came cause we wanted to see you two, we actually had another reason to be here, and we need to get to it."

"Oh, are you leaving already? I can make a doggie bag for you if you'd like…" Mary trailed off uncertainly.

"No, Mrs. Winchester – "

"Mary, please."

"Right, Mary. Actually, our business is right here at this table."  Dean stiffened, and his mother had a perplexed look on her face. Then she noticed Jo's poorly hidden smirk and relaxed.

"All right, let me put on some tea and then we'll sit and discuss whatever it is you came all the way out here for. Goodness, it must be important!"

"It's the best, Mary!" Jo called.  Dean relaxed at that, but now looked both rather confused as well as suspicious.

"What are you up to Jo?"

"You'll find out as soon as we're all settled in." She crowed. It wasn't long before anyone who wanted tea, or instant coffee, had a mug in front of them. Than Charlie looked at Castiel.

"You or me?" she asked. He shrugged. "Go on, Cas…" he nodded nervously and licked his lips.

"Right, well, we came here because after what happened at AngelCon, there was a fundraiser done on Deans behalf – " Dean sat up and made a noise of protest. His mother put a calming hand on his shoulder and whispered to him. He grimaced and nodded, staying quiet. " – the staff was rather upset about what had happened and so they sponsored the event, while Charlie and I ran it, organized it and advertised it for them. It was already underway before we were able to talk to Jo about it, which was when we discovered, Dean, that you might not um…be happy with what we were doing."

Castiel noted that Dean was nodding with a grimace, his mother's hand still on his shoulder, but he managed to stay silent to allow Cas and Charlie to explain what was going on.

"Now, in deference to the fact that you might not want to accept the money, we came up with a compromise that we finally managed to get the staff to accept, though they had some conditions on it. See, AngelCon really needs you to accept at least a part of what was raised, so they can show other fans that they care about what happened and that they take incidents like this very seriously. They want to also use this to promote that they are a safe and fun environment, that we as a whole are still a fun and supportive community. Really, it's as much for them as for you."  Castiel took a deep breath. "Given that, however, they are willing to allow a portion of it to be set aside to a charity of your choice, should you not wish to accept it all."  Castiel stopped and Charlie picked up.

"It's just that, this fundraiser? It isn't a charity thing. It's not a hand out. So if you're thinking that, you gotta stop it right now.  A lot of people were horrified by what happened and they believe that you deserve this. Okay, Dean? Being able to help you, it makes them all feel a little bit better about what happened. That they are a community that looks out for their own, and those two bozos that did this? They don't belong. It's like, this is a symbol. By donating they're welcoming you in and telling those guys to get the hell out."

"Isn't this totally cool Dean? People are really rallying behind you on this. It's like…you've become this poster boy or something for the fan community. People are – get this – actually asking that you get brought in at a con or two as a guest for like, autographs and shit. Can you believe that? You're becoming famous!" Jo giggled as she gestured wildly, too filled with energy to care that Dean couldn't see her antics.

Mary was running a soothing hand over Dean's back, and he'd been very, very quiet. Castiel was worried. The little lump in the pit of his stomach that he'd started with started to grow. He swallowed nervously, waiting for a reaction.  Dean sighed wearily, dropping his head into his hands, his elbows propped up on the table. He blew out a breath, than another.

"So what you're saying is…if I accept this, in any part, I'm helping myself, helping the community by pulling it together and helping the con by giving it good publicity?"

It was hard to hold back the instinctive nods in response, and only half of them managed, but they all verbally affirmed his statement as well.  
  
"And that basically, I should suck it up and deal?" his tone was slightly harsh this time and Castiel winced. The affirmatives were a little less loud, but still verbal for Deans benefit. The fingers his head was resting on tightened in his own hair as he rubbed his fingers harshly through the strands with a groan.

"Do I wanna ask….well, no, I don't want to, but I guess I need to ask…how much?"

"Um….there is…well, you know that the fan community for Angels is quite large, even if everyone donated like the minimum…" Charlie floundered and Dean sighed.

"Spit it out…."

"Just under 50,000." She whispered. Mary's eyes widened in shock before giving way to a proud look. Cause of course, her boy was worth it. Deans hands pulled away from his hair and he dropped his arms to lie flat on the table with a thud. His face had gone pale and his freckles stood out starkly on the skin.

"Hooooly Shit…." He whispered. Bobby didn't gyp them on pay, but he wasn't able to be as generous as wanted either. That amount was almost 2 years worth of salary for Dean. In one lump sum.  "Jesus Christ…" he was still trying to process it. Jo giggled again and Charlie joined in.

"Isn't it amazing how this community just pulls together for one of their own? I love this fandom!" Charlie almost squeeeed at the end. Dean was grateful that she managed to hold back on the high pitch necessary for a proper squee.

"You said I was allowed to give some away to a charity of my choice?"

"Yes, or an organization that you think would benefit and be beneficial. Be advised, however, that AngelCon upper management, such as it was, put a limit in how much you could divert in that manner."

"Oh yeah, almost forgot about that part Dean-o. They will allow no more than one third of that to be re-donated." Charlie broke in again. Dean was nodding slowly.

"That's…still a lot. I can…a lot of good can still be done with that third." He said, just as slowly.

"A lot of good can be done with all of it Dean." Mary said softly. "Don't deny yourself."

"I think that I…need some time alone. To think." Dean stood up, pushing back his chair, bracing himself on the table.

"Take your time Dean, I know this is a lot to take in. We're sticking around for a while so uh, just let us know when you want us to come back?" Castiel said uncertainly. Charlie looked at him sympathetically while Jo just rolled her eyes. As Dean made his way back to his own room to find the silence of his own thoughts, he heard his mother talking.

"Do you two have a place to stay while you're here?"

"Oh, not yet. We planned to look when we were done. I saw there was this place maybe 10 minutes from here – "

"Oh god no! the accommodations around here are horrendous. Charlie, stay at my place!" Jo grabbed her arm eagerly and Charlie laughed but then looked over at Castiel.

"And Castiel, if you don't mind the couch, I hear it's quite comfortable for sleeping on. All my boys have managed it and they're quite tall…" Mary turned to Castiel. Castiel mused that that was an understatement as he recalled just how tall Deans younger brother was.

"Are you sure that…you don't mind? I wouldn't want to put you out…"

"For all you've done for my boy already and in the future, this is a pittance. You're welcome here anytime." Mary smiled at Castiel warmly, watching the actor blush and turn his head to the side, not quite unlike Dean at times.

"Then I accept." Castiel wondered at the wisdom of doing this, but found he really couldn't say no.


	32. Music Soothes the Savage Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deans version of events and some of his inner thoughts and reactions.

Dean felt like he'd been on an emotional roller coaster. Today had been filled with so many ups and downs, so many surprises, it felt like he'd left his stomach behind and it was still trying to catch up.  The queasiness of his stomach over the recent conversation may have fueled that particular analogy.

Today had started out simple enough. He'd wanted to spend time out in the open air, feel wind and sun on his face. He wanted to spend time with his Baby, but it wasn't like he could drive her. Washing her, lavishing some care on her, _that_ he could do! His friends had turned it into an impromptu party, of which his mother had been way too supportive. But all in all, it had felt good.

He'd been shocked, surprised and gladdened when both Charlie and Castiel had shown up. Okay, and a little embarrassed and awkward too, since he had to deal with being blind around them. He'd finally gotten - mostly - used to it around people he'd already known well. Charlie and Cas, though, weren't known well, though he thought they could definitely all be good friends, given the time. And of course, he was nervous. He liked Cas. Really liked him. Really  _really_ liked him. He put a halt to those thoughts.

Still, he was having an enjoyable time. He wished he could see Cas with his own two eyes again, sure that his imagination had run away with him whenever he painted a picture of the gorgeous man in his head. The nearly black, always messy hair.  The only times it seemed tame was whenever a movie part required it.  That bit of scruff he got on his face between movies (Sue him, he may have watched a few YouTube interviews a few times.)

 And his eyes were always mesmerizing, a blue so deep and bright that he couldn't even name it, despite being an artist. Castiel's eyes had to be Deans favorite feature, they just drew him right in. He hadn't been prepared for the shock of seeing them in person and not on a movie screen.  Usually, it was movie magic that made someone's features pop that much more, but in the case of Castiel, the camera had actually downplayed the impact of his eyes.

All in all, the man was gorgeous and Dean could wax poetic, if that was his thing (which it totally wasn't), about all the different ways he was. But it was the eyes that caught him. And how he wished he could be staring into them now.

Of course, dinner was something else. He hadn't anticipated that, uh…level of appreciation from Cas. He had gulped and swallowed hard, trying to rein in his inappropriate thoughts, certain they'd be showing on his face. Not the time for these thoughts. And tried to ignore the voice in his head that noted that he hadn't needed the extra encouragement to think them.

But all in all, things seemed…good. Not too awkward, still fun, none of the bouts of doubt or self loathing about all the things he _couldn't_ do that he was prone to.

And then they made their grand pronouncement, as if he should be grateful and take whatever they gave him. Hell, the whole thing had sounded rehearsed, couched in terms almost guaranteed to make him accept without a second thought. Damn Jo anyway. As soon as he heard she'd been in on it, he'd known she was responsible.

Thing was…they were right. He felt like he was backed in a corner and he didn't like it. But they were right. They were appealing to his tendency to help others, his need to make others happy, and if he didn't accept what they'd raised for him, he'd be unable to do that. It's just that…no matter what they said, it felt like it was pity. And pity was the last thing he wanted from any of them, particularly Castiel.

He groaned as he sat on his bed, hands fisted in his hair. It was getting a little long and he desperately needed a haircut. He also needed a way to drown out his thoughts and the noises from the outer rooms. He abruptly stood up and made his way to the corner where he'd stood up the second hand guitar Garth had gotten him.  Picking it up carefully, he made his way back to the bed and just as carefully sat down and arranged it on his lap. Fumbling around, his fingers feeling their way into place on the neck, he attempted to practice the few chords he'd learned so far. Concentrating heavily on the movement of his fingers by feel, and not by sight, actually helped distract him and he started to relax.


	33. Gaining a Little Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary and Castiel have a heart to heart

After Deans abrupt departure, things seemed to wind down quickly. Charlie and Jo were anxious to get going and have some…alone time, so they rushed Castiel out to the car so he could get his bag and return to the Winchester home.  He came back into the house and left his bag by the long couch, then stood in the kitchen a little uncertainly as he watched Mary cleaning up.

"I'm sorry for…"

"Oh sweetie, don't be sorry. It's all right. What you and Charlie and Jo did was a good thing. And even if Dean doesn't see it yet, I do. It was so very generous of all of you to help him like this. He'll come around. He just…has a hard time accepting things from people. I'm afraid it's something he learned from his father." Mary sighed. Then she brightened up a little. "Are you ready for dessert yet? You can't leave town without trying my apple pie." She said proudly.

"Sure Mrs – um, Mary. I'd like that." He took a seat at the table again, and she refilled a mug of tea for him and warmed up a slice of pie. With her eyes she asked if he wanted a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream on it and he nodded. She beamed and set such a large scoop on top that his eyes widened. As he ate the wonderful concoction before him, he heard the faint strumming sounds of an acoustic guitar and he raised his head to listen to them. It was obvious that whoever was playing – Dean, it must have been Dean – was still learning.  But just the sounds of it brought him back to his own childhood, soothing memories and he ate his pie in peace.

Soon enough, Mary joined him at the table. Topping off his mug and getting one of her own. The two of them talked about everything and nothing. He couldn't believe how comfortable he was here in this home. After a while, he became comfortable enough to brave certain questions.

"Mary, can I ask you something?"

"Of course, Cas." She responded immediately. There was no of course about it, he thought. She might not want to answer this, or maybe she might not be able to answer this, he was uncertain. Still…it didn't hurt to ask. Mary didn't seem the type to not tell him to mind his own business if it came down to it.

"Why doesn't…I mean, why isn't." Castiel paused, frustrated with himself and his inability to get this question out in a coherent manner. He prided himself on how together he was, and yet every thing that involved Dean seemed to tear that all down. He decided for a different tactic than just blurting out the question. "Did you know that Dean showed me some of his work when I met him?" Mary's eyes widened and her mouth dropped in shock. Her hand came up to cover it.

"He did?" came out as a disbelieving whisper.  Castiel nodded.

"For some reason, he doesn't think he's very good. But he's…god, the sketches he showed me were beautiful! And then I find out he's never even gone to school for it.  The talent that he has...just, just amazing. And whatever his own opinion of his work, he does have a passion for it. Why doesn't he…" Damn, he was still having a hard time articulating that question. Mary understood anyway.

"Dean has…" she paused and looked up, gathering her thoughts, "Dean's been drawing since forever. It was a while before we realized that…to him it was something more than just the love all kids have for art. I encouraged it. His…father did not. Aaaand then some things happened when Dean was in high school. It seemed to kill any dreams he had of pursuing art or, or of flexing his artistic muscles. Dean has been…" She paused, a longer one then the pauses that had peppered her explanation thus far. He could tell she was picking her way around what she deemed a sensitive topic. To Dean, maybe? Or to her? Maybe to the family? "You have to understand, that this family has undergone a few harsh realities. And when things got hard, Dean…stepped up to the plate. But by doing so he…thrust his own wants and needs behind him to help everyone else."

Castiel nodded, reading more in between the lines of what she said and didn't say.

"It's just the way he is. He'd rather help others than let anyone help him. No matter the cost to himself for it. He's the most kind hearted, unselfish son anyone could wish for. I'm real proud of him."

"You love him a lot." Castiel knew he was stating the obvious, but he couldn't help the words from coming out of his mouth.

"I do, of course I do. How could anyone not? Even if I wasn't his mother, I'd love that boy. I just wish he could live his own life, do more of the things that made _him_ happy." She sighed, her hands wrapped around the mug in front of her, looking down at it. Castiel heard a sniff, soft at first, than another, a little louder. He looked closer in alarm. Was Mary…crying? What did he do now??

"He's given so much, for everyone, for his brother and…and it's just," Sniff, "He deserves better, so much more and," Sniff, "he deserves this, this bit of kindness and I...." Her hand came up and wiped at her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so emotional…"

Castiel reached over to pat her awkwardly. "It's okay, I think I understand." She gave him a watery smile and laid her own hand on his arm.

"Thank you, Castiel, for everything." She leaned in, following her arm and hugged him tight. After no more than a second's hesitation he wrapped his own arms around her and hugged her back. After a few moments of comfort, she pulled back, wiped her eyes again and beamed at him.

"Now, then, let's get you all set up before it gets too much later."


	34. Middle of the Night Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets into a little trouble in the middle of the night because of the dog and Cas wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I....was not expecting that.  
> *blink*

Castiel woke in darkness and stretched, wondering why he was awake. This couch really was more comfortable than he had anticipated. Mary certainly hadn't lied about that. Not that he thought she'd lied about anything. He heard a shuffle from the hallway. Oh, that must have been what woke him up. He closed his eyes and prepared to go back to sleep when he heard a yelp, a muttered curse and a thud as the clicking sounds of nails scrambled away from the hall accompanied by a whining sound and a ringing bell.

"Dammit Bones," came a harsh whisper from the hallway. "You have _got_ to stop sleeping in the hall. Become a friggin' speedbump…" the voices, Dean's voice he realized, grumbled quietly from the hall. Castiel stood and padded over to entryway, thankful for the various night lights interspersed through the house as he made his way over to Dean.

"Dean, are you all right?" he peered down at Dean who was on his ass on the floor. He must have been too quiet on his way over because Dean jerked almost violently in surprise.

"Christ, we need to get you a bell! Think we have a spare from when we bought them for the dog." Dean managed to get out.

"Comparing me to a dog? There could be worse things, I suppose. Dogs are loyal and steadfast." Castiel smirked.

"I wouldn't take that as a compliment, they also drink from the toilet." Dean snarked back. Castiel let out a laugh, trying to smother it so he didn't wake anyone.

"Here, let me help you up." He started to reach down and even though Dean couldn't see him, he'd leaned away as he growled.

"I don't need any help." Castiel drew back but Dean didn't move. Instead he sighed, ran a hand through his hair then let his head thunk back on the wall, pulling up his knees and resting his arms on them. "Sorry, man. I'm just…" He sighed again. Castiel nodded, turned and slid down the wall to sit next to Dean. Their shoulders bumped. 

"It's alright to accept help once in a while Dean."

"I don't want pity, Cas."

"Are you pitying others when you help them?" Dean gaped at him.

"What?"

"From what I hear, you help a lot of people Dean. Why is it okay for them to accept help, but not you? Do you think you're worth less than them? That you don't deserve a little help yourself every now and then?" In the dim light, Dean blinked. He appeared to be thinking about that. "I'm sure you feel a sort of satisfaction and pride in helping others. Isn't it only fair that, once in a while, other people get the same pleasure from helping someone else, even if it's you?"

Castiel trailed off, waiting patiently as he watched the wheels turn in Dean's head. He grunted.

"Huh, I never…never really thought about it like that." He paused, "I guess I just…I felt like a failure if I have to ask. If I can't manage on my own. I mean, there are so many people out there who have it worse than me, than us…they don't seem to have any issues coping. Why should I be any more special than them?"

"I think the question you should be asking is, why are you any _less_ special?" They sat in silence then, in the near dark. It wasn't as awkward as Castiel had feared. Instead, it was comfortable, warm even. Well, the warmth was probably the body heat from Dean as they sat close together in the small hallway. Castiel wasn't sure how long it had been before Dean finally broke the silence.

"Okay, I'll…try. I can't guarantee being the most gracious person when I accept help but…I'll try." The words were a very soft rumble that Castiel felt to his core and he shivered.

"That’s really all anyone can ask of anyone else Dean." Castiel's own voice, as quiet as he was trying to be to keep from disturbing Mary or anyone else in the household who may have come home while he was sleeping, also came out in a very low rumble. Was it his imagination or did Dean shiver in response to his words? Castiel hesitated, gulped and pushed on.

"Dean…can I…? Ah, I mean, no, never mind." Castiel stumbled and lost his courage and let his own head thunk against the wall behind him in frustration at his own stupidity. Now was not the time. Not when Dean was feeling vulnerable. May even feeling obligated.  Oh god, he hadn't thought of that.  That was the last thing Castiel wanted. If there was ever to be anything between them, he wanted it honest and free of any sense of obligations or manipulations. He wanted them as equals. He was so lost in his self-chastising that he almost missed Dean's reaction.

"Yeah, Cas…you can." were Deans whispered words. Castiel turned his head, still leaning against the wall and found Deans face closer to his own than he had anticipated. He drew in a shaky breath, eyes widening. Did he really mean…? Before Castiel could ponder any further, Dean brought his hand up to Castiel's face, cupping his cheek, and then trailing it down to grasp at his jaw, using it to guide himself in.

And then any thought, any fear or worry that Castiel had about Dean not wanting this as much as he did, just faded away…


	35. What Mary Saw...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary is a silent witness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, but since i put up 3 more around 5 hours ago, i think it'll be okay?

Mary woke up in the dark and lay in her bed. To say she hadn't become a light sleeper in the last few weeks would be lying, but today she couldn't seem to figure out what had woken her. She continued to lay there, her ears straining to hear anything. Her door was cracked open. A habit she'd had when her boys were kids, and one she'd returned to after Dean came home hurt.

She heard nothing, but she was unable to fall back asleep. It had probably been that nice young man fumbling around in an unfamiliar house for a midnight run to the bathroom. She smiled at the thought. She always seemed to be less stealthy in someone else's house too. Even having solved the likely reason she was awake didn't make it any easier for her to relax and fall asleep. She was too keyed up these days whenever she woke, fearing that Dean needed her.

Instead, her mind started thinking, as it usually did these days, upon Dean and their current situation.  Though it had been horrible, and she wouldn't have wished for something like this to happen, it had been the catalyst for change in their family that they'd needed. And when Dean got his sight back – and it would be when, not if. She refused to think _if_ – things for this family would pick up.

John had gone to Bobby's for a little while. Bobby had both agreed to be his AA sponsor and to give him that desk job he'd been trying to give John for ages now. And Mary knew Bobby would kick his ass if it became necessary. If Bobby paid John as much as he had Dean, then Mary knew they'd be okay. And Dean could save his money for himself, instead of using it for everyone else. If he saved it for himself then, well, Mary had planned on working on him to apply to Art College. She knew how, deep down, it was all he really wanted, even if he'd stopped showing his work to anyone years and years ago.

And then those nice, young people had arrived on their doorstep with a literal gift. Maybe Dean wouldn't have to wait after all, she thought, happily.  She lay in bed a little longer before she decided that she wasn't falling back asleep any time soon. She got up with the intention of getting a glass of water and possibly hitting the bathroom on her way back, but when she gently opened the door, she paused. She heard voices.

Soft, low rumbles, hard to decipher, but definitely there. She looked out the door she had opened without any of that betraying rattle and click of the doorknob, grateful that they kept the hinges and other things well maintained around the house. Keeping well back, peering carefully around the door frame, she saw her son and Castiel sitting on the floor of the hallway, having a little powwow. She smiled. Then she heard the words Castiel was speaking.

"I think the question you should be asking is, why are you any _less_ special?"  She held her breath, waiting for Dean's answer. Whatever conversation they'd been having, though she suspected the topic quite easily, it seemed they'd been having it a short while and…he was thinking.  Dean was considering Cas's words. She smiled, a hope building in her chest. 

She suspected that she shouldn't be listening in on this conversation, yet as his mother she couldn't seem to help it.  Mary had been trying to find the right words for Dean for a long time. She wondered if Cas had found them for her?  Even softer than Cas's question, came Deans response and she almost couldn't hear him.

"Okay, I'll…try. I can't guarantee being the most gracious person when I accept help but…I'll try." Mary's heart leapt at the words. She closed her eyes and brought her hands up to cover her mouth to keep from making a sound. She was so giddy with joy that she missed whatever else was said, and when she opened her eyes again, she saw Dean reach out and kiss Castiel.

Oh. _Ohhhhhh_ …..time for her to go, Mary thought, smiling hard. She retreated into her room, and swung the door almost shut behind her.


	36. Everybody Loves Bacon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after the kiss, and its not the only exciting thing happening in the Winchester household right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i'm not a doctor and i attempted (with my poor google fu) to do some research about causes of temporary blindness etc, etc. But unfortunately, while I have a broad idea of the time frame for the sight to come back with this type of injury, i couldn't find anything about how FAST it would come back once it started.
> 
> soooo....i may be totally wrong with how i plan to do this. My apologies if you happen to know better :(

At breakfast, Mary had a hard time containing herself. She couldn't let on that she'd seen or heard _anything_ and it was just about killing her. Instead, she bustled about getting breakfast ready and chattered at Castiel as he sat at her table, hands cupped around a mug of hot tea.  His eyes drooped and he was barely awake. She kept her smirk to herself as she heard sounds of Dean waking from down the hall.

Dean eventually dragged himself in, looking just as zombie-fied as Cas did.  He stumbled slowly over to his usual seat, and let himself drop into it. He placed his arms crossed on the table and then dropped his head into it with a groan.

"Dean, sweetie, if you were still tired, you didn't have to get up just yet."  She heard muffled sounds from the table and grinned. She turned to see Castiel looking at Dean with squinted eyes and that head tilt he seemed to do when he was trying to understand something.  "Don't bother trying to decipher Dean pre breakfast, Cas. It's a language all of its own."

Dean raised and turned his head slightly from where he pillowed it in his arms, just enough for words to escape in an intelligible fashion. "Mooooom….." he complained. She raised a brow,

"Yes, Dean?"

"Bacon."

"I know Dean." She smirked again as Cas replaced his head tilt and squinty eyes with a raised brow and a sip of tea. She brought over a heavy, hard to tip mug for her son, filled with Earl Grey tea. He wouldn't admit it, but he might have had a thing for it because of Star Trek.  Dean finally sat up, as he heard the thunk of the mug to the table, and slid his hand across the table till it hit the mug. Once he'd found it, he grabbed it up with both hands and took a couple of gulps, burning his tongue in the process. He grimaced but continued to drink.

Mary turned back to finishing up the packages of bacon she'd been cooking, falling silent and allowing the  kitchen to remain thus as the boys drank their teas. The smell filled the house. She'd known it had wafted down the hallway and was most likely what had woken Dean before he was ready. Without hearing it, she knew his complaint had been how he couldn't possibly be expected to continue to sleep as he'd wanted to because of the smell of bacon. Well, of course not. Everybody loved bacon. How could _anybody_ continue to sleep when they could smell fresh bacon?

She smirked to herself while her back was turned to them. She was also sure that Castiel had woken for the same reason, and sooner because the smell would have wafted into the living room first, unimpeded by walls and closed doors.

In the meantime, Castiel stared at Dean. He was kind of adorable when he had just woken up. It was definitely amusing to see.  Dean certainly did not look awake or capable of dealing with the world just yet, as proven by his monosyllabic answers to his mother, and the gibberish that had preceded it. When Dean placed his mug down, Castiel followed suit, allowing his mug to scrape at the table as a warning that someone else was sitting with him.

"Good morning, Dean." Castiel spoke, his voice even lower this morning than it was normally. He cleared his throat self consciously. Dean started a little, then broke out in a slow grin and ducked his head.

"Mornin' Cas."  Dean tried not to blush as he remembered the events of last night. It was just a kiss, but _wow_ , what a kiss. He tried to act normal, wary of letting his mother suspect anything. He stared straight ahead to where Cas's voice had come from. Was it his imagination, or did everything seem a little less dark today? Usually, the only time he saw a difference between dark and light was when he switched between outdoors on a really bright, sunny day, and indoors. No shapes or movement, but it would appear a little less dark when he was outside. But right now he was inside.

He smelled the bacon coming towards him and his mouth watered in anticipation. The plate was placed between him and Cas and he blinked. Just for a second, he was sure he had seen...something…maybe? Okay, maybe not so sure. Whatever it was, was now gone. He blew out a breath. Forget about it Dean, don't get your hopes up. He reached for the bacon, ignoring his burning fingers as he grabbed the fresh out of the pan pieces from the top.

Dean felt a breeze next to him and turned instinctively, and then squinting as he thought he almost saw something again. He huffed out another breath and turned back, shoving the bacon into his mouth and groaning over it as the flavors burst across his taste buds. He heard Cas echo him from across the table and he grinned with his mouth open.

" 'sgud, right?" he mumbled around the mouthful of bacon he was chewing.  Cas just hmmmd in response. Dean paused in mid chew. There it was again.

"Dean, are you all right?" Cas inquired.  Dean ignored him for the moment, eyes once again squinting as he turned his head slowly side to side. He huffed yet again and frowned.  "Dean!"

"What?"

"What's wrong?"

"I dunno – " he shook his head, "No, nothing. Nothing's wrong." A hand landed on his shoulder gently and he heard his mother's voice, smelled her perfume as she spoke.

"Dean," she admonished. He could easily envision the look on her face right now. The quirk of her brow, the stern set of her mouth as she called him out on his lying.

"I..just…thought that I…thought I was…seeing something. But it's still just dark." He finished with a hopeless growl. He almost tossed the bacon down on the table, but had the good sense to stop himself in time and shove it into his mouth instead. Everything was better with bacon, and he could certainly use the boost to morale bacon always brought him.

Mary and Castiel looked at each other, Castiel giving a thoughtful hum. He looked back over at Dean.  Dean had acted strange a few times already this morning, almost as if he _could_ see something.  After some brief analyzing of how and when he'd seen Dean reacting, Castiel decided to run a little experiment.

Leaning across the table while Dean stared straight ahead, Castiel slowly placed his arm in front of him, elbow on the table and wiggled his fingers, watching for a reaction. Nothing.  Just as he expected.  Next, he enlarged the movement to his entire hand. Still nothing. But he'd not dared to hope for that either. He then started swinging his entire arm side to side like a metronome and Dean squinted at him and leaned forward just the slightest bit. Castiel didn't think Dean was even aware that he'd done that. He stopped his arm and Dean frowned. Mary watched anxiously.

"Cas, what are you doing?"

"Dean, what _do_ you see right now? Does it ever change?"

"Well, nothing really Cas. It's just…dark. But not like, true dark, right? It's just this oppressive dismally dark gray. Pretty much everywhere. Sometimes it seems a little less if there's enough light out. And if it's night time, whether inside or out, that's when it gets truly black."

"But you don't see shapes or colors? Movement?"

"Nothing like that."

"I don't know Dean, I think maybe you _are_ seeing something. Or starting to." Dean straightened up.

"How do you mean? And don’t you think I would have noticed if I was?"

"You did notice. It's not much yet though so, maybe you thought you were imagining it. But, you did seem to react to one third of my experiment. I think you're developing the ability to track movement right now. Not a lot of movement, it has to be close and big. And maybe not al that well yet, but…" he trailed off.

"Wait wait, does this mean I can make my T-Rex joke now?"

"I…don't understand that reference, Dean. What does this have to do with a T-Rex?"

"Dude," Dean groaned. "You're an actor…don't you even _watch_ movies???"

"I generally don't have the time…"

Mary let out the breath she was holding as she listened with wide eyes to her son and her guest, trying not to squeal in delight or excitement. She was a grown woman after all. A woman with two grown sons. She did not react like a giddy school girl, or one of those super obsessed fan girls Dean and Jo had once described to her. But still…the first signs of her eldest getting his sight back, she was finding it really hard to continue to hold back.

Dean found himself engulfed in his mothers arms with what he could swear was a strangled squeal. She squeezed him tight and held on for several long moments. Then she pulled back, dropped her arms and cleared her throat. In a very calm voice, she acted like she hadn't just let out a squeal Dean had been certain  was going to burst his eardrums.

"Well, what you waiting for? Eat up boys."


	37. So what do the girls say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Dean and Cas have their midnight hear to heart (and lip to lip), Charlie and Jo have their own little talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've just been asked to pick up a hell of a lot more hours at my job. this is going to be hell. Wish me luck and i'll try to keep up a decent writing schedule.

"What the _hell_? I mean, this is insane. They've both admitted that they like the other, at least to us, so what's holding them back? Are they afraid of commitment or something?" Jo was pacing her room, Charlie sitting cross legged on the bed watching as Jo fisted her hair in frustration.

"I don't think that's Cas's hold up, honestly." Charlie noted. "I think he's hesitant because…" she trailed off and Jo stopped to stare at her, one eyebrow raised as she glared at Charlie.

"Because what?!?"  She bit out. Charlie shrugged sheepishly.

"You gotta understand Jo, it happens in show biz all the time, and Cas he's…he's worried it'll happen to him. Sure, he may have, technically speaking, made the first move, but…he's afraid Dean won't want to be with him…for _him._ If that makes any sort of sense to you."

"You mean like…he's afraid of hooking up with an attention whore or a gold digger?" Jo asked her incredulously. "Christ Charlie! No, Deans not like that! He's anything but that!"

"Yeah, well, what do you think is stopping Dean? Is _he_ a commitment phobe or something?" Jo gave her a look that said, _you're kidding right?_ and Charlie pressed on. "Come on, Jo, you had to have mentioned it for a reason." Charlie's jaw dropped and she lurched off the bed, her hands curling around Jo's arms, startling her into jerking back a little. "Are…are you…? I mean, you aren't….argh! I feel like Gollum arguing with himself in the Two Towers…"

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm down there Charlie…" Jo trailed off and her eyes widened as she realized what Charlie was grasping at. She pulled her in close and looked her right in the eyes. "God, no…I mean, I have no idea if this will go anywhere or not, but, I'm not afraid of it being something bigger. 's long as you aren't?" Jo quelled the panic inside her. She would _not_ be as insecure as Dean was when it came to relationships. She'd watched  him crash and burn a few times, self-sabotage really, all because of those insecurities. As an answer, the red head kissed the blonde haired girl and left her reeling.

Eventually, they came up for air and the two women, both now _much_ calmer, sat beside each other on the bed. It was late, or early depending on your point of view. They'd been discussing things ever since they'd returned from the Winchesters household. Charlie almost sort of felt guilty for just leaving Cas there, but it was all part of her and Jo's plan to get the boys together. Speaking of…back to the topic at hand.

"So, what's Dean-o's deal?"  Jo sighed and ran a hand through her blonde locks, Charlie smiling as she watched.

"It's…more like he doesn't believe Cas could possibly be interested in him, and that even if your friend was interested in Dean, then it becomes more like….Dean doesn't deserve him."

"So basically, he's insecure and not at all as confident as he appears to be?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"And you didn't think to mention this before?" Charlie asked, not necessarily in an accusing manner, more like disbelieving.

"Dean does enough sabotaging, even if he is unaware of it. He deserves something, someone to make him happy, and to that end, someone needed to be on his side."  Jo insisted. Charlie nodded, ceding the point, but couldn't help but continue on.

"Still, we held the secret Council of Elrond and formed the fellowship and everything, and it's like you were holding back information that could destroy the ring!"

"Charlie, we don't want to destroy the ring, we want them to _get_ rings."

"Okay! Fine! Bad analogy! But the sentiment still stands." Charlie gestured enthusiastically and almost hit Jo in the face with a flailing arm.

"Charlie. Bed. Now.  It's like, 3am or some shit. Let's get some sleep before we meet up with the clueless idjits tomorrow and see if Dean's come to his senses about the money."

The redhead waggled her eyebrows at Jo and giggled. It didn't take long for the two of them to sprawl out on the twin sized bed, tangled up together and grinning like mad.


	38. Diner Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie, Jo, Garth and Benny meet up for breakfast at a diner the next morning to attempt to make 'plans.'  
> for Charlie, this may or may not include getting her hands on a Jayne Cobb hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I'm about to work some insane hours at work. wish me luck on my writing schedule. in the meantime, if i don't get the chance to say it - Merry Christmas! (or whatever holiday you're celebrating. For me, it's a very geeky Christmas - I just wish I had a bigger tree so I could put ALL my geeky ornaments on it. Right now, my little one is so small and week, that i have just the lightest pieces - which is sadly not many - and a home made construction paper Castiel Topper...)

The next morning found Charlie and Jo at a local diner for breakfast instead of heading over to el Casa de Winchester. They were met there by Garth and Benny. It was Benny's idea and Garth had tagged along. Jo was betting that Garth was completely clueless as to why they were all getting together.

Then again, maybe she was wrong, she thought, as they all listened to the skinny man gush.

"So…let's talk about Dean-o and that hot guy that showed up yesterday." He paused, and then rushed out with, "They are the cute-est thing! How long have they known each other?" Garth leaned forward, nearly spilling his coffee and he jumped back to pull his newspaper to safety.

"Yah, brother, save those funnies." Benny chuckled and Jo snorted. Everyone knew that Garth had an unhealthy relationship with his funnies in general and Marmaduke specifically.  Then again, maybe she should be careful _not_ to offend the guy when she was currently in competition with Dean on that knitting thing while she still needed Garth as a teacher. Still, she continued to muse, Garth was pretty hard to offend…

Okay, this was starting to hurt Jo's head. She hadn't actually gotten _that_ much sleep the night before what with the talking and…all. Oh screw it, she was just going to continue to act normal, otherwise Garth might try to give her therapy or some shit, and she didn't think she could handle that right now.

While Jo had her internal mini melt down, Charlie plunged on. She leaned over the table and Garth echoed her, much more careful about his coffee this time, and they spoke together in hushed tones like conspirators. Which, really, they all were, but it wasn't like _Dean_ would be at the diner, so why did they need to whisper at all? She stared at Charlie as she explained the situation to Garth and Benny leaned forward just enough to listen. Jo smiled as she realized that Charlie just did it for _fun_ and no other real reason.

"And that, as they say, is that."

"So now what, cher?" Benny asked.  Charlie narrowed her eyes at Benny.

"Cher? Why would you call me after a 60's icon…" her eyes widened and she put both hands up in a trying not to offend gesture…"Oh god, I'm so sorry…I mean, you're handsome and all, love your eyes dude, but I totally don't swing that way!"  Charlie edged closer to Jo as Benny's face descended into confusion and surprise and Jo just couldn't help it. She collapsed into laughter, tears running down her face, her head draped over the back of the booth as she just howled and shook. 

"It's always right neighborly of ya, JoAnna Beth, to have a laugh at a brotha's expense." Benny shook his head mournfully.  She hooted a little louder.

"Uh Jo, I love being happy as much as the next person, but I think you're going to get us kicked out."  Garth weighed in, but he was grinning madly.  Jo's laughter started gaining a tinge of shriek as she lolled her head off the bench and onto Charlie's shoulder and just shook, eventually snorting and giggling as she tried to calm herself down. Charlie awkwardly patted her on the back, unsure of the best way to calm Jo down and nervously looking around, seriously expecting to be expelled any moment for the commotion their booth was causing.

When Jo finally ceased laughing, which she found hard to do as she listened to Benny's assurances that he _"wasn't trying to hit on her, honestly!"_ , she sat up straight, wiped her eyes and heaved a few deep breaths in and out.  Their food had long since arrived and she grimaced as she took in a bite of her ice cold meal. Maybe she should have gotten herself under control a little sooner, but _god_ that had felt good. She'd seriously needed that.

"Right, right, so……" Charlie started speaking and everyone turned their focus on her. "Where do we go from here?"

"It's obvious they like each other. I mean, I can't say much for that Cas fella, having only met him yesterday, but Dean, he's kind of obvious. And if I know Dean at all, he probably won't say anything, he's gonna have to be pushed."  It was surprisingly Garth who came up with that. At the look of surprise on Jo's face he raised an eyebrow. "What, how do you think I got him to actually try knitting?"

"Oh my god! Dean can _knit_? Oooh, can he knit me a Jayne Cobb hat? That's gotta be, like, the best starting project for any knitter. I heard a friend of mine say once that it was their first stress free project where they didn't have to worry about if it came out looking good or not, 'cause they already knew it was gonna look 'ugly'."

"Damn girl, breathe." Benny said in awe as Charlie paused to gasp in a breath. Jo looked in danger of dying of laughter again at Charlie's antics. "I believe we're gettin' off topic, cher."

"Oh! Right, right, sorry 'bout that!"

They sat in silence for a few moments, Jo pushing around her cold and now unappetizing food, as the rest finished the remnants of their own meals.

"Honestly, now that I think about it, I really can't see any good way of getting them together that won't backfire on us, except to continuously throw them at each other until they figure it out." Jo sighed, defeated. Charlie looked at her in horror and clutched at Jo's shirt.

"No Jo! You can't give up on this ship! We need this ship to sail! We have to do _everything_ we can to get them together!"

"I'm not giving up Charlie, I just think that we shouldn't try making a grand plan. I think we should play it by ear and see where we can nudge as the opportunities pop up." She looked at the boys sitting across from her. "What do you think?"

Benny and Garth exchanged thoughtful glances, then nodded.  Charlie sighed dramatically. "But, but…half the fun is in the planning!" she took turns at looking at them all as they stared at her and she reluctantly conceded. "Fine…but if I were you all, I'd watch out for Gabriel. He's made no such promises."  Jo nodded with a smile and figured that was the best she was going to get. Garth looked ate everyone and finally just had to ask it since no one else would.

"Who's Gabriel?" Charlie's eyes sparkled and she leaned forward dramatically once again, Garth following suit.

"We-eeeell, let me tell you 'bout the Trickster…"


	39. Breakfast Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some inner thoughts for Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put up 3 new pics in some of the first chapters, and I've realized, i'm never going to catch up with the old ones at the rate i'm going at. So i'm going to try to make my quick pencil sketches for each new chapter i put out, at the same time as I make ones for the old chapters so that eventually, if I keep going with the catch up ones, i'll EVENTUALLY make it.

Dean was sort of surprised when no one showed up at his house around breakfast time. Then again, maybe he shouldn't be surprised, he mused, thinking on Jo and Charlie's behavior from the night before. Which led him to thinking about his _own_ behavior the night before, in addition to the things Cas had said.  And the things he said…

If he was being honest with himself, it wasn't the first time he'd heard something of the like. But coming from Castiel in the dead of night, it seemed to hold more weight than similar words had ever held for him before.  Why did it make a difference now and not from any of the myriad attempts by his mother or his brother? Both of whom he held so much respect and love for that it didn't make any sense. Why was it that he couldn't accept the same words from them as he had from a virtual stranger?

He blushed. Okay, maybe not so much a stranger anymore.  He tried to keep the grin off his face, in case anyone was looking – not like he could surreptitiously check on that - but was unsuccessful, so he shoved some food into his mouth.  Default setting Dean. Trying to cover up awkwardness? Just insert food. Trying to avoid talking? Eat something. He was sure he had any number of moods that food was the answer to. Hmm…that’s probably not a good thing.

But seriously, how much actual time had Dean spent with Cas? How much did they really know about each other?  Why did Cas seem so invested in him? Him, of all people! He was nothing special. As soon as he thought it though, Cas's words from the night before echoed in his head.

_"I think the question you should be asking is, why are you any less special?"_

Maybe he'd been talking about more than just Dean accepting help, Dean realized. He knew he had his issues, his insecurities. He covered it up fairly well, he'd always thought.  Usually only those closest to him were able to see through him so thoroughly. Not all the time though. He was still able to fool them all at least some of the time. Or maybe they still saw right through him and they were just giving him his space. Well, that was a sobering thought.

And yet, it hadn't taken long for Cas to do the same, had it?  That realization startled him. Maybe the…connection…he had felt from practically the first moment they'd met wasn't quite as one sided as he thought. How else would he have been able to read Dean so well?

Why else would that kiss have felt so….he tried to smother that doofy grin that was trying to reform on his face. Maybe he should be having this internal bout of reflectivity in the privacy of his own room and not in the very public space of his mother's kitchen. He could hear the water at the sink running as she washed. She was talking to Cas and Cas was responding from the same direction. Dean wondered if that meant he'd already been put to work, drying perhaps? 

They were talking low, the words too quiet to be understood, but the low, gravely tones of Cas were certainly becoming one of the things he really enjoyed listening to. Even more, he thought, then the soothing tones of his mother.

He could do this, Dean resolved. His sight was going to return – after earlier this morning, he had high hopes about that, finally chasing most of his worries about it away - and he would see what this could be. What him and Cas could mean to each other. Oh god, he hoped he didn't screw this up.


	40. If Three's a Crowd....?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ....What about four?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS! Probably won't update again till after.
> 
> also, i've had my work schedule shifted so that i'm doing long cross shifts where i'm actually waking up quite a few hours earlier than normal, but my body won't go to sleep any earlier, so i'm actually really exhausted with little time to actually work on this *pout* hopefully that ends in 2 weeks.

It was afternoon when they were suddenly bombarded by Deans well meaning friends. The four of them descended upon the house in a whirlwind of noise, Jo taking it upon herself to just burst in the door instead of knocking. The four of them found Dean and Cas on the couch of the living room with Deans second hand guitar out and in use, Mary sitting on a recliner with her knitting.

Knitting. Right. Jo should get on that. She had to beat Dean! But it looked like she'd have time. It wasn't like he was knitting right now, and the challenge was with him, not Mary after all.  Dean jerked upright, startled at the sudden, if not quite unexpected, intrusion, his fingers falling still and clamping down on the guitar strings with a strangled dampening sound.

"Well then, I guess the gangs all here?" Dean said with a wry grin.

A chorus of "Ayes" and various other affirmations rang through his ears as he carefully lifted the strap of the guitar over his head so he could place the instrument onto the battered coffee table in front of him. He listened to them all making themselves comfortable around the room, picking out seats. He was jostled into the arm of the couch and he figured someone – Jo probably – had decided to squeeze onto it, likely bringing Charlie with so she could take up as much space as she could, and by some strange coincidence, shoving Cas over to be practically in Deans lap. Subtlety, not Jo's strong point, Dean thought and had to refrain from snorting out loud.

"Easy there, Jo. You're like a bull in a china shop. "

"What's that Dean? You feeling a little _squished_? I can help with that." Dean almost lost it when Cas made a strangled squeak as he was shoved some more, pressing into Deans entire body with his own. Dean couldn't believe he'd actually made that sound.  He also debated 'pushing back' to get revenge on Jo but he didn't want to make Castiel feel any more uncomfortable than he was likely already feeling.

From the sounds of it, the others around them weren't as capable of holding back sounds of their amusement. Benny's hearty laugh, Charlie's giggle, Mary's little hum and Garths odd little guffaw all echoed around them. Trying to contain his own laughter, Dean spoke up.

"Jo, leave poor Cas alone.  He's not used to your antics."

"Pfffft…Cas can take it. Jo's got nothing on Gabe." That was Charlie's cheery voice coming from the other end of the couch. Score a point for Dean – he'd been right about that!

"I'm afraid I don't know Jo well enough to be able to confirm or deny that statement." Pressed together like this, Dean could _feel_ the rumble of Cas's serious reply. Oh boy…he hoped Jo didn't move away any time soon.

For a moment, the room fell silent. Neither Garth nor Benny had been around for the reveal of the fundraiser last night, but he just knew the rest of them were waiting to hear his response. Of course, Cas already had it, but he knew the rest of them wouldn't be able to contain their curiosity about it for too much longer.  And he was equally sure that Garth and Benny had likely been filled in at some point that morning if they'd all come over together.

"How are you feeling this morning Dean?" Jo, of course, broke the silence.

"You mean, am I still upset about last night's high handedness?" silence. He felt Cas twitch beside him. Whoa, this was weird. Good, but weird. Was he worried about Dean's answer? That it would have changed sometime during the night or the morning? Dean let out a sigh. "Fine."  That single word would drive Jo nuts, he knew it.

"Fine. Fine _what_ , Dean? Are you feeling fine? Or are you fine with what we talked about, or…or what?" She pushed. He tried for a nonchalant shrug, Cas's body pressed so close he almost shrugged with him.

"Both."

"Both? Like…seriously?" There was stunned silence from the room. Even the clacking of the metal knitting needles his mother had been using had stopped. "I uh…have to admit, I expected more of a fight, or a tantrum or…or something."

"What? I'm a grown up, Jo. I don't throw tantrums." He grumped. She snorted.

"Of course you don't sweetie." Came the wholly unconvincing response from his mother. Okay, now Dean was just feeling a little bit put upon. He crossed his arms across his chest and did his best to glare at the room in general.

"You guys are all heart, you know that?"

"Of course we are, and we have the fundraiser to prove it." Everyone snickered at Charlie's snark.  Even Dean had to admit that one. Well, to himself. He didn't want to admit it to everyone else that he thought it was pretty funny. His lips twitched anyway as he tried to hold back the smile.

"You guys are all really something else. And uh, I mean that in a good way. I…I can't even think of how to thank you all…" Dean's head ducked down a bit as he spoke, his arms dropping from the defensive arm cross to allow himself to rub at the back of his head nervously.

"No thanks are necessary Dean. For once, just let someone else take care of you. And enjoy it while you can buddy, 'cause it's not gonna happen that often."  Only Jo could add that kind of remark to an otherwise sentimental moment. Thank god for that.

"Well, shit, I sure as hell hope not! I don't think I can take much more of this sappy horseshit."

"Yeah, we love you too Dean."

"Sure ya do, Jo." He fake grumped as he felt Cas's body shaking next to him with pent up laughter. "You gonna be okay there Cas?" He felt the body beside him straighten up as Cas attempted to compose himself before answering.

"Of – of course Dean. Why…why would you think otherwise?" He managed to get out, breathlessly.

Dean grinned to his left, to where Cas was sitting. "No reason, buddy. No reason."


	41. A Little Introspection...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an introspective Cas is a cute Cas? :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the chapter doesn't match the title on the picture for the first time ever. that would be because I still can't decide on the title that I want and I just said, screw it, and put this together cause i wanted the chapter to go out. *sigh*

Castiel watched the good-natured ribbing and  laughter that hid the deeper emotions that flowed around the living room in the Winchester household. He and Charlie were technically the outsiders here. You could tell the four friends and even Mary all had pretty strong bonds with each other.  He was still flabbergasted at that idea that Mary was almost just one of the crowd rather than being seen as the 'adult' of the group, an uncomfortable intrusion.  His own mother, sweet and loving as she was, would never really be at ease in a gathering such as this, though she'd had plenty of practice pretending that she was.

Castiel felt honored as he realized those bonds were reaching out to both Charlie and himself.  Somehow he knew, that once accepted by Dean and his family and the friends that they counted as family, they'd be part of something really special. No matter what happened, these people would have his back. Even if Dean and he never became more, they'd still count him as family. It was a truth, a realization, that filled him with awe.

 He couldn't deny that he had good brothers, and his sister of course. And he had Charlie too. But that was it. Once he'd started in show business, he'd felt so disconnected from everyone he met. Too many people had tried to use him since then and it had left him, while not exactly cynical, certainly a hell of a lot more wary and tentative in starting any kind of relations – intimate or otherwise.

Though he was living a dream he'd never give up, it was a lonely way to be.

And for once, he was wondering if that was something that could change. Dean and all those in this room were giving him new hope. Castiel watched Dean with awe at his strength, at his humor and good nature. With all that had happened to him - and Castiel wasn't stupid enough to believe he understood or knew even half of the things Dean had to deal with on a day to day basis, or for how long he'd been dealing with them – he was far from the broken, cynical man he should by all rights be. 

By chance, as he looked around the room, just enjoying being there in the friendly and welcoming atmosphere, Castiel caught Charlie's eyes and she raised an eyebrow at him with a smirk. He tilted his head slightly in confusion, his own brows drawing down into a knot as he stared back at her, the conversation and laughter flowing around them and infusing them with warmth as they held their own, silent conversation.

A warm hand landed on his leg, followed by bodyweight as Dean pushed himself up from the couch. As he stood, his hand lifted up and away and Castiel felt that loss. He stared up at Dean, and saw that Dean had his head tilted down in his general direction with a small smile on his face.

"Sorry 'bout that man."

"It's not a problem Dean." Castiel leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, arms dangling. He watched Dean leaving and then noticed the sudden silence around him. He slowly turned his head towards the rest of the room to find grins being leveled at him. He blushed, ducked his head down, embarrassed. On his face was a small, fond smile he hadn't even realized was there till just then and he worked to replace it with a carefully neutral face so he could look back up, hopefully not ruined only by that blush.

He clasped his hands together, and looked back up only to find five sets of eyes trained on him, not fooled in the slightest.  Jo's grin was sly. The grins on both Charlie and Garths faces were big and open. Benny had a slightly more reserved grin, just nodding at him.  Mary flicked her own eyes back down to her knitting, her wide grin unabated. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and looked away.

Great, some actor he was…

 


	42. The Light at the End of the Tunnel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've been waiting for - or what Dean has been waiting for. Well, one of those moments he's been waiting for. But its a pretty important moment...

"Okay, now you sit – no Dean, stay where you are. We're going to arrange everything around you." Charlie was in her element of directing, having set up one of her portable vid cams on her tripod in the Winchesters living room. Benny and Garth had gone home some time ago, and Mary had gone off to the kitchen to work on dinner, lunch having come and gone just before the boys had left.

Dean and Cas were both sitting in the center of the couch, Deans arms crossed over his chest and all grumpy looking. It was very clear that Dean was uncomfortable being in the spotlight and Cas was trying to reassure him that it would be all right.  It was just. Too. Adorable! Charlie tamped down on the squee she could feel in her soul.

She idly wondered how close she could get them to sit, citing the shallow depth of the room and the capabilities of the camera – nah.  Cas, at least, wouldn't fall for that.  Nuts. Her first chance to give them a nudge and she was coming up blank. Well, she could still do this anyway.  She sighted through the camera without starting it so she could make note of what was and wasn't in its view.   There, there'd be room for her on the other side of Cas, and it wouldn't feel as awkward for Dean, not having visual cues as to what was going on. Jo hovered, watching, waiting to see if she could be of any help.

"Great!" Charlie clapped her hands together. "I think we're ready. Jo, I'll do all the edits after, and the camera is set. It doesn't need to be moved at all. All I'll need is for you to press record as soon as we're ready."

"What about zooms?" Jo called out.

"No no, that’s fine. I'll do that manually during editing. Just press record when I say." Jo pouted but nodded. "Awesome Sauce!" Charlie bounced down onto the couch next to Cas. "Are we ready to start boys?"

"Yes, of course, Charlie."

"No…" Dean groaned, and he scrubbed his hands through his hair. His leg started bouncing up and down and Charlie watched Cas lay a hand on it in a calming gesture that…actually worked. Charlie smirked, unseen by any other than Jo. She winked at Charlie. Turning back towards Dean and Cas, who was talking too low for Charlie to actually hear, she geared herself up to go. However, just as she was about to tell Jo to start, something caught her eye and she froze. Charlie watched as Deans forehead furrowed, eyes squinting shut as he hissed, raising his hands to his head. Castiel abruptly stopped talking and leaned in to him, concerned. Charlie froze and Jo just waited her eyes wide.

"Dean, are you all right?" Castiel other hand now gripped Dean's shoulder and Charlie could see by leaning forward just slightly that his knuckles were white.

"Fuck…my head…nnnng…." Dean started to lean forward in his pain, nearly doubled over in his seat as Jo raced out of the room while calling for Mary. Dean gasped, his fingers grasping at his temples, rubbing deep and then crossing to his forehead and back again. Charlie watched as her best friend got frantic in his worry and need to do  _something_  with no idea what to do.

"Dean, what's wrong??"

Than Mary was there, kneeling in front of her son, both hands reaching up to grab his shoulders, Castiel reluctantly letting go and moving back to give her and Dean some space. He and Charlie shared a worried glance.

"Sweetie, is it a headache? Would you like some Tylenol?" Dean nodded twice. Mary glanced up at Jo and she took off to get the Tylenol and some water at her unspoken words. Mary looked over at the concerned friends. "It's probably nothing to worry about." At Castiel's disbelieving look she continued. "Honestly, all the doctors he's seen so far said that headaches could be just one of the likely permanent side effects of the injury, even if he regains his sight. After this morning, we have hope that this is what's happening. We'll just ask the doctors to allow us to reschedule his follow up appointment for a sooner time, get it verified. But unless it gets really bad, I don't think we need to take any drastic measures."

"So…no ambulance or a hospital?" Charlie braved.

"God no." Dean mumbled.  " Sorry. 'm sorry. Didn't mean to freak you all out. It was just…unexpected, came on so sudden…"

"Here you go Dean."  Jo had returned. Tylenol in one hand, bottle of water in the other.  Dean slowly sat up, wincing as he let one hand drop from his head, holding it out for the Tylenol. He threw it into his mouth quickly and then grasped blindly for the water that Jo had opened and was thrusting at him. He swallowed quickly and then returned his hand to rubbing at his temple along with the other.  It took long moments for him to relax enough to even open his eyes, but when he did he gasped again and sat up a little straighter, his fingers freezing in place.

Everyone leaned forward at the same time in their concern, as if they were one person, and he jerked back at the suddenness of it.  His eyes reflexively squinting since he couldn't see  _well_ , he slowly looked around him, eyes darting this way and that.

"Dean what is – wait, can you see me?" Mary spoke first, the others coming to the same conclusion at roughly the same time. Dean let out a shaky breath.

"Yeah…Yeah, I…just, just a little bit but, god yes." He breathed, and if his voice sounded a little wobbly, maybe even watery, no one made an issue of it.

 


	43. Doctors Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Mary go for a check up, when Mary surprises Dean with a question about his future...it's not what you think.

Much as he hadn't wanted to go back to Dr. Zachariah, there hadn't really been anyone else better qualified in the area. They rescheduled the appointment from the following Friday, to the day after Deans headaches started. And boy howdy, they had started. They came in fits and spurts, followed by bouts of nausea and dizziness just as he'd been warned. It was all definitely most unpleasant…and he wouldn't change it for the world.

  
  


Light shone in his eyes, a pinpoint beam. First one, then the other. He tried not to squint in reaction and just reveled in the fact that he was seeing again, however poorly. That had been gaining ground in the last 24 hours as well. He wondered how close he was to his usual prescription. And when he would be able to pick up a new prescription for that matter. His glasses had been knocked off his face when he got caught in that tussle and he'd later found out that someone had stepped on them, rendering them useless. Of course, there hadn't been much point in bemoaning the fact before hand, when he couldn't even use them for who knew how long anyway.

"It appears that his - er...your," the balding man cleared his throat and quickly looked away from Mary and down to Dean, obviously remembering the last encounter they'd had. "…sight is recovering pretty quickly. Frankly, I'm surprised it took quite as long as it did. Now, you don't want to strain your eyes. If they start to ache or burn at all, I want you to lay down and close them, preferably with a cool, wet cloth to relieve them. And I don't want you to mistake that cloth for a solution because it's not. It's not _actually_ going to fix the strain, you understand, it'll only ease the symptoms. Resting them will be the best medicine at this point in time. Now, Tylenol is still advisable, but call if the pain intensifies beyond what you've already described."

Dean and Mary both nodded. Dr. Zachariah was being a lot less condescending and quite a bit more personable and accommodating this time around and it was making the visit much more endurable. They hated to admit it, but he really did know his stuff. They were still going to stop by and talk with Pamela and Alfie though, just as soon as they had a moment. Dean and his mother both knew that their new friends at the Barnes School for the Blind would be ecstatic to hear the news and that Alfie might need to check over his progress to either adjust what he was doing or stop altogether. Dean was hoping for the latter, though he wouldn’t mind keeping in contact with them even if it no longer proved necessary to seek out their help.

After a bit more fussing and hot air from the Doctor, Mary and Dean were able to leave. Dean walked slowly, but insistently without any assistance. Tripping hazards were something he still couldn't see well, but big obstacles, moving people, that he could handle of he was careful.  
  
Well, mostly moving people. Apparently not the smaller people. Like children who were always so in the moment of whatever they were doing that they paid no attention to their surroundings or how it could affect them. Dean fought to stay on his feet when a child clipped past him, at first unseen, not quite enough time to pull back and stop himself completely. The toddler had careened into his legs and bounced off, ricocheted to the floor in front of him and damned if he was going to land on the poor kid.

A woman, probably the mother, raced over to the child before the little girl could begin to cry and scooped her up, checking her over. She looked over at Dean and his own mother, watching as Dean teetered and Mary grabbed his arm to steady him, pulling him back onto his heels.

"I am _so_ sorry!" She spoke frantically. Dean huffed out a little laugh.

"Yeah, no worries…I'm okay. Is um…is your child okay?" Dean wasn't entirely sure if the child was a girl or a boy, not getting all that much of a look, and didn't want to mistakenly refer to the toddler with the wrong gender. Some people got pretty uptight about that, he'd heard. He felt his mother patting his arm reassuringly.

"She's good. Again, I'm so sorry." The toddler curled up in her mother's arms as the mother spoke earnestly and the toddler babbled, mostly incoherent words interspersed with the ones she was starting to pick up.  She was obviously unaffected and had already probably forgotten about what had happened. Kids were resilient like that, Dean thought with amusement.

"Don't be. She's young…they don't understand at that age. Some of them never do, to tell the truth, but most will grow out of it. Trust me, I know." Mary leaned in, grinning. "There was no harm done to either of them."

"Well, thank you." The mother smiled brilliantly, "I hope you are having a good day, that it's nothing serious that brings you here." Dean grinned in response, still feeling like he was on cloud nine with his vision returning finally.

"It was good, getting better, thanks. I hope the same for you."  Mary tugged at his arm.

"Come on Dean, we should head over to the Barnes School now." Dean looked over at his mother and nodded after a second.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Pam and Alfie'd want to hear the good news. We should do that sooner rather than later." He turned back to the mother whose eyes had widened in recognition, but Dean couldn't see it, and she didn't say anything. "I hope you have a good one."

"You as well. Say goodbye, Beth."

"Buh-bah." Dean grinned again at the adorable voice. He nodded at the mother, wiggled his fingers in a wave at the little girl and then Dean and Mary were on their way, the mother bringing Beth back to the side of the waiting room.

They walked in silence down to the car. It was only after they settled in and Mary had started driving that she broke that silence.

"Do you ever want kids Dean?" He looked over at her, startled.

"Wh – what? Kids?  Uh, I dunno, I um…What brought this on now?"

"Well, nothing really. Just, I saw that little girl and I was just thinking about yours and Sam's futures. Things are looking up, Dean. Don't you think?"

He gave her a suspicious, squinty eyed look. "Is this your way of saying to step on it with the grandkids?"

"It was just a thought, Dean."

"What if I get together with a guy, Mom?" Dean was definitely not thinking about Cas. Nope. Not at all. Okay, maybe a little. Mary rolled her eyes at her son before turning her attention back to the road.

"There's always adoption, sweetie."

"You've been thinking about this, haven't you?" Dean accused.

"Well, of course I have. You’re my son.  You and Sam…I can't help but dream and make plans for your potential futures. And ever since you came out to us a few years ago, I've wondered about it. What would your options be, that sort of thing. It doesn't hurt to be prepared, you know. If you ever have any questions, you can always come to me. I've done a lot of research." She beamed at him and Dean just shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't see the minute expressions on his mothers face, or things like that, but he could hear the tone of her words. She never ceased to amaze him.

"I love you mom."

"I know."


	44. An Afternoon at the Roadhouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Benny and Garth kidnap Cas in order to 'get to know him better'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay in posting up chapters. my work schedule changed and its really kicking my butt. :(

While Dean was busy running errands with his mother, Castiel had found himself kidnapped by a couple of his friends, mainly Garth and Benny.  He tried not to eye them suspiciously. Maybe they just wanted to be friends, not actually interrogate him. Even with his own cluelessness, he knew that wasn't very likely. This was their chance to get him alone and away from Dean. They'd be fools not to take advantage of it.

The three of them drove on down to the Roadhouse, a place he was told was like a second home to the Winchesters. He found out why when they got inside and Ellen wasted no time in making herself known. Almost like someone had tipped her off that they would be arriving shortly. Castiel was unable to keep his suspicious looks to himself this time and Benny and Garth just looked back at him innocently.

"Well boy, I'm Ellen. I hear you've already earned Mary's approval, but you ain't gettin' nowhere without getting mine too." Castiel's eyes widened as Ellen smirked and Benny and Garth just grinned, watching the scene unfolding before them.

"Uh…" was his eloquent reply.

"Shit, boy, don't you got words?  A big name actor like you and all?"

"I uh…just read the lines, ma'am. Um…I mean, I'm not…all that…wordy." Castiel flailed. "My brother, on the other hand, could talk your ear off and make your head spin without even trying. My uh…family has always told me how um…awkward and really just…abysmal my people skills are." He finished with a mournful sigh.

Ellen just raised an eyebrow and looked over at the other two as if to say _, 'Is he serious?'_

"He _is_ pretty quiet, Ms. Ellen. Takes a bit to get 'em going." Benny answered her unspoken question with his southern drawl and she took pity on Castiel.

"Well, my daughter seems to like you anyways, so I'll reserve my judgment for now.  What all can I get you boys? The usual for you two, I'm guessin'?" Benny and Garth nodded. "All right then, I'll give Cas here a minute to look over the menu. I'll be right back with a couple of beers."

Before Castiel could blink, she was gone.  Had she called him Cas? Why did everyone he meet insist on shortening his name? Shouldn't nicknames be a token of familiarity and kinship? He didn't mind it from Charlie or Dean, even Jo or Mary. And Cas was certainly better than Cassie as Gabriel and the rest of his family (but mostly Gabriel) persisted in calling him most of the time. They'd even gotten Balthazar in the habit of calling him Cassie. But Ellen…he'd just met her. Did the use of a nickname on her part hint that she was closer to giving him her 'approval', as she'd said, than she had let on?

That was food for thought and certainly made him wonder what she was basing her decision on. Not that he'd want to dissuade her or anything if the opinion was good, but speaking of food, he was rather hungry. After a moment of staring after her, he turned back to the two men who'd brought him here.

"Daughter?"

"Ellen is Jo's mom."

"Ah, that explains it."

He quickly glanced down at the menu, not wanting to hold everyone up, or risk not being ready when she returned. His decision was a no brainer once he saw it and he was more than ready when Ellen returned. She took his menu with a grin on her face.

"Well, all right then. A Dean House Special it is." Castiel did a slow blink, opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again.

"I'm confused, I thought I ordered the," He went to look back down at the menu before remembering she'd already taken it from him, "Ellen's Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe?"

"You did indeed. I created that 'specially for Dean and it's pretty much the only thing the boy orders when he deigns to visit us."  Garth leaned forward.

"It's a good choice. That’s what _I'm_ getting." Benny nodded in agreement. Castiel looked from them back to Ellen.

"I look forward to trying it then."

"Coming right up boys." She walked briskly away, menus in hand. Castiel stared after her.

"She didn't even write it all down."

"No she didn't, brother. Ellen's just that good. Drink your beer." Without thinking, Castiel followed Benny's command. "Garth, remember, you only get that one, and you better drink it slow."

"Hey, kemosabe, I'm not driving. It's all good!"  Benny just looked on at Garth in amusement before turning back to the blue eyed actor.

"So, what do you for fun?" he asked. Castiel shrugged and raised his beer to his lips. He took a swallow and placed it back down on the table.

"Gabriel reminds me that my definition of fun is…rather lacking compared to other peoples."

"That your brother, right?" the actor nodded to Benny's question, than continued.

"I like to read. Um…I have a cat. I am a bee advocate."

"A what now?"

"Bee advocate. Did you know that they are really, really important to our ecosystem, and they're dying out?" the actors voice broke out a little from his usual steady rhythm and into a more excited, more passionate tone.

"Really?" Garth tipped forward, having already finished his beer against Benny's advice. His eyes were wide and earnest, as he prepared to listen to everything Castiel had to say about Bees.  Benny just rolled his eyes and took another swig of his own beer and waited for the food. It was starting to look like the plan for the afternoon was about to take a turn somewhere he hadn't expected and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to wrestle it back on the rails.

Then again, if he let things go unchecked, it may just be the best way to get his own measure of the man before him. Not like he could stop Dean from hooking up with the guy if Benny decided he didn't like Cas, but Benny could still be prepared for all scenarios, good and bad. Dean and his family – both blood and surrogate - had been good to Benny when he'd needed a friend and a helping hand to get back on his feet after the mess with Andrea. He owed it to the guy. He owed him quite a lot. He wasn't sure he'd ever have been able to pull out of his slump without their help. And just because he had a good feeling about this Castiel fellow, didn't mean he wouldn't be ready to help pick up the pieces if it became necessary, god forbid. 

  
  



	45. Chew With Your Mouth Closed, Dean!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean shares his food???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is going slower now because of my work schedule. i'm so very very sorry. :(  
> and i don't have any new pictures because i left my sketchbook at my job. *sigh*

Dean and Mary ended their running around at the Roadhouse and met up with Benny, Garth and a rather un-harried looking Cas. _Well,_ Dean mused, _looks like Cas survived the first gauntlet_. He wondered how he'd fared against Ellen.

 Dean slid into the booth next to Cas while Mary went over to talk with his aunt. Benny gave Dean a nod and Garth gave him…two thumbs up, he thought. He squinted at Garth until he was fairly sure that yes, he'd been getting two thumbs up.

Dean reached over Cas's plate and started stealing the remnants of his dinner. Benny snorted.

"You hungry, brotha?"

"MM….yef…" Dean swallowed the fry he'd been munching on. He looked around at the empty or nearly empty plates.  "I'm starving. You guys aren't leaving yet, right?"

"I can stand to stick around a little longer, cher."

"Awesome." Dean grinned as he stuffed another fry into his mouth. Castiel raised an eyebrow at him in amusement as he watched the green eyed man stealing food from his plate.

"I wasn't done with those, Dean."

"That's okay Cas, you can steal some of mine as soon as Ellen brings 'em over."

"Whoa, Deano! Letting someone else touch your food? Must be love at first sight!" Garth gushed, causing Dean to turn bright red. Dean grabbed up a balled up napkin and tossed it at the skinny guy.

"Shut up, Garth." He growled.

"Hey Dean, move over." A hand came down and pushed at his shoulder. He looked up to see Charlie's bright red hair looming over him. He edged closer to Castiel, still blushing, but not minding in the slightest.  Cas didn't seem to mind too much either, from what he could see.

Charlie quickly grabbed a seat next to Dean and he wondered where Jo was.  His wondering was cut off when a couple of plates were placed down on the table, followed by a few beers, then Jo sitting next to Benny and pushing him into Garth without even saying a word to them, before she leaned her arms around her plate and stared at Dean.

"Sooooo, how was the docs?"

"Eh…it was all right. He actually talked to me, this time, instead of around me." Dean reached forward and grabbed his burger, taking a huge bite. "Mmm….." He closed his eyes briefly in enjoyment. Nothing could ever beat Ellen's burgers, he'd swear to it. Except bacon. 'Cause you know, everybody loves bacon. Or no, wait, pie. Nothing beats pie.  Especially his mother's apple pie. Then again, hmm… maybe he had a few too many guilty pleasures.  He side eyed Cas as he chewed. Okay, liking Cas definitely wasn't a _guilty_ pleasure.  He grinned around his burger, and got an answering grin from Cas in return. 

"Have a fry, Cas." He mumbled around his mouthful of burger, pushing the plate slightly towards the actor. 

"God, Dean, you are _so_ gross! Close your friggin' mouth when you chew."

"Wasn't chewing, I was talking." He finished the bite of burger and grinned some more while Garth guffawed in the corner.

"Ugh." She gave him a disgusted look, but it just made him grin bigger. He could swear his eyesight was even better than it had been this morning or, for that matter, better than it was earlier that afternoon. It wouldn't be long before he could get a new pair of glasses and see  _everything_ again. Things were definitely looking up for him.


	46. YouTube Interulde Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie attempts to interview Dean again for her show...she doesn't tell him that this time it's recording live.

“You ready Dean?”

“Hell, no.” he grumbled. Cas leaned into him and Dean unbent enough to turn and give him a small smile. He looked back over at Charlie and sighed. “Let’s get this over with Red.” Charlie grinned and turned to the camera, her laptop and Jo. She gave the blonde a thumbs up and Jo leaned over to do her part. She pressed record and returned Charlie's thumbs up. Charlie stared into the camera with a big grin, waited a few second and then started.

. “Welcome once again to the newest edition of Charlie's World of Weirdness and other cool stuff! So, I know you all have been wondering how the fundraiser is going and how our intended recipient is doing, and tada!  This is the follow up you've all been waiting for. And as you can see, I’m not recording at my own studio today.”  She turned to face Dean and Cas who were still pressed against each other, Cas giving and Dean taking, comfort from it. "In front of me are Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester. Say hi to the audience fellas!"

Castiel simply nodded and gave a short hello. Charlie bit her lip in sympathy as Dean looked over at the camera and visibly gulped before giving one of his patented grins and a tentative wiggle wave of his fingers.

"Uh…hello."

"Now, Dean, is there anything you wouldn't mind telling us, and by us, I mean the world at large?"

"Uhh…." He stared at the camera, then Charlie blankly. "Um…I'm an Aquarius, I work in a garage and I have a genius for a younger brother?"

"That’s a great starting point, Dean. But aren't you also an artist?" Charlie pressed. Dean blushed, looked down and away, an arm reaching up behind himself to rub at his neck.

"Uh, well, I do like to draw but…um…"

"Dean, if you say you're not very good at it again, I _will_ find your sketchbooks and ask the internet their opinion." Castiel threatened, exasperated at Deans lack of confidence in his own skills.

"God Cas, no!" Dean panicked. Charlie giggled at the staring contest the two boys were having and cleared her throat to interrupt after she'd deemed it had gone on way too long for this live recording. She hadn't even told them it was live, but she'd missed her editing deadline and an episode was due out.

"Okay, but I what I meant was, can we talk about what happened at AngelCon, and was there anything you wanted to say to folks out there specifically?" Charlie waved a hand back towards the camera. The boys startled and looked back over to her, glancing at the camera briefly before returning their gazes to the redhead. Deans eyes were still a little bit unfocused, especially the further away things were, but she was unsure how much of that was due to recovering from his temporary blindness and how much was due to the fact that he actually did need glasses for distance objects.  Dean cleared his throat.

"Well, um, don't know how much we need to go over, I mean, it all got caught on video right? I mean, I haven't seen it yet since, yeah, but, Jo told me about it."

"That's right, it did get caught on video. But our audience is actually curious as to what happened. Looking at you now, no one would even know you'd been injured at all."

"It was um…a head injury and uh, those are kinda tricky to recover from actually. Still recovering, to be honest, but then you know that."

" _I_ know that Dean, but _they_ don't." Charlie gently reminded him. Unseen by the cameras, but visible to Charlie, Cas reached to rub his arm soothingly over Deans back. The green eyed man closed his eyes briefly, took a breath and opened them again, a little calmer.

"Um, well, I don't normally like to um…publicize my shit but uh, I guess since you're all wondering – oh shit, can I even curse on YouTube? Well, I mean, of course I can, I guess, but what about your show? Does it have a pg rating or anything? Oh god, Charlie, crap. I didn't mean to ruin it. But uh, you can always edit this out right? Or no…Shit, can we start over?”

“Um, Dean, we’re actually live.” Charlie was unsure if it was wise to tell him, but the words sprung out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“What?” Dean froze, paling and stared into the camera like a deer in the headlights, only Cas's hand on his back kept him from bolting. Charlie shrugged apologetically.

"Sorry, man, thought it would help you not freak out if you didn't know. And I guess I was kinda right. You okay to keep going?" Dean looked over at her in disbelief. After a few long moments he shook his head and took a deep breath and turned back to the cameras, leaning further in to Cas as he did so, drawing strength from him. He was an actor right? So maybe he could pass on his awesome acting on camera skills through proximity? Dean knew he was being ridiculous but he was going to take comfort and strength to get through this however he could get it.

"Okay, uh, so…like I said, and you probably saw, I hit my head and received a head injury of a particularly fun nature, only not quite so fun. I mean, going blind temporarily 'cause I hit my head in just the right spot…and well, we had no idea how long it would last or anything cause, well, head injuries are uh, kinda hard to predict or some shit. 'cause that's just my kind of luck. But uh, my luck is turning 'cause it started coming back just a few days ago and I can't tell you all just how good that feels. Still have headaches and crap but, my sight is back! So I'm happy." Dean babbled and could just see Jo on the other side of the camera trying to hold in her laughter as she held her stomach and doubled over, nearly touching the floor. He glared at her, and then tried to smooth out the glare since the folks on the camera wouldn't know why he was glaring.

"So, you've been out of work this whole time since the con. How have you been passing the time?" Charlie tried to break in and help him relax back into the interview more naturally.

"Uh…well, this might sound a little silly, but a friend of mine started giving me both guitar lessons and knitting lessons. Something that could occupy my hands and be totally done with a sense of touch. It was…actually not that bad. I uh, don't think anyone would want to hear my guitar skills anytime soon – I need a hell of a lot more practice for that – but I seem to have gotten the hang of knitting, well, the basics anyway. And don't let anyone ever tell you that it’s a girly thing to do 'cause it is _hard!_ Okay, well, not that hard if you have some patience. Probably eyes would help too. But anyway, it's an art, and since I couldn't see to draw, it was nice to still be creative with my hands in some way."

Charlie grinned at him, Dean seemed to have relaxed a little, Cas was still being very quiet, so now it would be his turn to be raked over the coals. She turned slightly towards him, not having to move all that much considering how close Dean and Cas were sitting. She wondered if they were even aware of it.

"Cas, can you tell us how the fundraiser is going?" Castiel shrugged and nodded.

"It is going well. Everyone's generosity and support has been simply overwhelming. Even now donations continue to roll in – " he felt Dean jolt under his hand and realized he probably shouldn't have said that. Too late now. "- and everyone at AngelCon and myself would like to thank you for everything, for showing your compassion and showing the world just how much of a family this fandom truly is."

Dean pulled a little forward and away, he eyed Cas briefly before looking straight into the camera.

"Heya folks! So um, Cas is right, your support and generosity is…it's very overwhelming and uh, greatly appreciated but for god's sake, please don't send in any more donations! With what's already been raised, I can tell you that uh, I just don't need all that money, so I'm gonna give back to the community and donate some of it to others in need."

"Dean!" Came Jo's suddenly not laughing voice from the other side of the camera. The low, almost constant headache he'd been having since he'd started regaining his sight began to increase.

"What, Jo? It's true, I mean, we never needed much, we always made do with what we had, and now my eyesight is returning which means I'll be able to…to…" Dean broke off suddenly with a groan as the headache viciously spiked, his hand reaching up to his temple as he curled in on himself. "to…to return to work…and…" he trailed off, losing the thread of his impromptu speech.

Castiel, concerned, followed after Dean, his body pressing in close to the taller mans curled up form. Moving his arm from Deans back, he placed it around his shoulder. He looked over at Charlie. His deep voice rumbling out as quietly as he could so as not to bother Dean, “Charlie, we need to stop….”

Charlie's eyes widened as she watched Cas help Dean stand up and move away from the cameras line of sight, helping him walk around behind it and leave the living room they'd set up in, presumably to bring him to his own room. After a moments silence, she turned back to the camera.

"That voice you so briefly heard was Dean's childhood friend and my temporary camera woman, Jo. Come take a bow."   
  
Jo skipped in front of the camera and tried to take her bow but fell onto the couch laughing. "I don't think there was enough room there, Charlie." Charlie joined in, and managed a few words around her own laughs.   
  
"No, I guess not. Oh well, can't win 'em all." She shrugged, and then turned back to the now unattended camera. "So, as you can see, Dean's still recovering, though I'm not sure what exactly just happened. Jo? Could you shed some light on this subject?"   
  
"I'm afraid that's uh, one of the side affects of his injury the docs warned him of. Apparently, even though he is recovering his sight, he may or may not wind up having a few permanent side affects of which the headaches are just one of those. Further, I don't think I should say, as it's not really my place."  Charlie nodded at the blonde.   
  
"I think our viewers would understand your hesitancy to break Dean's privacy. Now back to those very folks." Charlie turned her body fully toward the camera, placed her elbows on her knees leaned forward earnestly. "Guys, it's totally up to you if you'd like to stop donating as Dean requested or keep going. We'll make sure he takes as much as he needs and not as little as he believes he deserves. I've been getting to know Dean a little better these past few days and he's hardworking and generous, always helping others but attempting to refuse any help given to him in turn. He was, I can say with no hesitation, definitely stunned and surprised at the unexpected generosity from all of you. It is most definitely appreciated, even if he is having trouble accepting it. We'd all like to thank you for your kindness.  Anywho, we'll give you updates on Dean's condition in the future, but I believe the worst is over." Charlie grinned at the camera, waited the space of a few seconds, then glanced at Jo and nodded. "And I think that's it for today!" She held up the Vulcan salute, which Jo attempted to copy, and failed, causing Charlie to laugh her way through her normal sign off.


	47. Girl Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jo spilling secrets....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really really hard. I wanted to give a little backstory and just...not sure I hit my actual objective here.
> 
> I wanted to explain some of Deans character, his insecurities, but I didn't want his dad to be a complete dick either. Because I like John. I don't think he's perfect and he's made plenty of mistakes, but it was obvious he loved his kids and the things he did was meant to protect them. Maybe he didn't go about things the right way but...he did try. Bobby probably should have smacked some sense into him, but he did try.
> 
> please, feedback on this chapter? Like I said, it was a hard one to write and not sure I got what i wanted. I let it sit here for days percolating in the back of my mind before going through ANOTHER re-read...and I think i'm happy with it but...i keep getting this niggling little feeling in the back of my head that I didn't do it right.
> 
> p.s. sorry, no pic. i have one in mind but i don't have time to make it right now.  
> EDIT - Pic now!

Charlie turned off the camera and laptop, noting how many hits the video had already gotten. "Man, the internet is going to have a field day with this interview." Jo nodded in agreement.   
  
"Yeah, I figured. Poor Dean. Shit, poor Cas. Wait, what about Cas's agent?"   
  
"No worries, he's not with that ass Crowley anymore, so he's got a lot more leeway than he used to. It's not like he did anything scandalous today. Hell, he barely even spoke! Can't see how he'd go wrong with that." 

"Ready to pack up and head back to mine?" Jo asked Charlie. The red head beamed at her and nodded. Jo grinned back. "Kay, give me a minute."

Charlie watched Jo run off to the kitchen, probably to say goodbye to Mary before they left, and started packing everything up. She'd picked her rig with awesomeness and efficiency in mind, so it didn't take long to be ready and waiting for Jo to come back. She stepped into the kitchen to make her own goodbyes to Dean's mother and they were quickly on their way.

"So…I noticed that Dean's not very confident in himself. His art, being on camera, these are just a few things that spring to mind. Which means I gotta ask, what's up with that? I mean, his mom seems so very supportive and all that good stuff."

"Eh, well…" Jo prevaricated. "You're right, Mary _is_ very supportive. It's um…his dad, I guess."

"Wait, isn't his dad that dude in the wheelchair that’s been staying here? I _thought_ that was weird. Could he not handle having a blind son or something? Should I kick his ass? Oh, can I?" Charlie practically bounced at the idea.

"God Charlie, no, I don't think it’s a good idea to beat up the handicapped guy, whether or not he deserves it. Anyway, Deans' dad is…complicated." She settled on the edge of her bed, hunched over herself. Charlie placed her bags down at the foot of it and sat next to the blonde.

"Okay then, tell me about John."

Jo looked up and twiddled her fingers and fidgeted a bit before looking over at Charlie. This was private business. The Winchesters business. Then again, anyone who ever spent time around the family would pick it up after a while, and Jo had the feeling that Charlie, and for that matter, Castiel, might be around for a while. After a fashion. She sighed.

"We don't really talk about it, you know? Dean's not the talking type, not about serious things, emotions, things like that. And…it was John that made him that way. John's a good guy. Generous to a fault, and hardworking, like Dean, willing to do just about anything for his family, until the accident anyway. But he had some old fashioned preconceptions, some…prejudices that, well, he eventually worked around it. But it was hell on Dean while he did. I was just a kid myself, so I don't remember a lot of it before he turned himself around but then, I didn't live with him. Honestly, if it wasn't for Mary, I'm not sure John _would_ have been able to bring himself around, but, like I said, he'd do just about anything for his family."

Jo swung her legs up and flopped around onto her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling of her room. Charlie followed suit and squeezed in close to her, laying her head on the same pillow.

"Like…what kind of prejudices?"

"Oh, stupid sexist crap like, uh, men don't like this, or that kind of thing is only for girls, or babies. Men don't show emotions, that's just girly. Men like cars, not art…Mary eventually put a stop to all that, but well, you know, it was too late. And Dean just wanted to please his dad. He was a kid. John may have stopped spouting that nonsense, stopped believing it himself but, Dean had already taken it to heart. Then he came out as Bi and John flipped. He couldn't understand it. I have to give him _some_ props, cause he _tried_ to be understanding, but his feelings about it were clear and he'd say things…little things that you could just see crawling under Deans skin, you know, the way that only parents can do. John finally came to terms with that too. Like I said, he loved his sons and he didn't want to lose Dean and, well, he'd do just about anything for his family." She repeated, giving a little shrug.

"Wait, so…he was a douche, and then he wasn't?"

"It wasn't as easy as all that, but, for a quick summup, I guess, yeah."

"But…the damage was done?"

"Pretty much. Johns not like that anymore, but…"

"What about Sam? He seemed pretty well adjusted from what I could see."

"Mary managed to help John turn around before Sam could be affected as deeply as Dean was, and he was already away at college when Dean came out so…"

"So he missed the adjustment period." Jo nodded, her head brushing up against Charlie's while they shared a pillow, the red and blonde strands of hair mixing together. "I'm still confused by something. Why is he here and not at his own house?"

  


  
  


"Eermm…I guess you could say it was the accident. John was never quite the same since it happened. He um, I guess it was the one thing he couldn't adjust to, being handicapped like that. Losing his ability to walk, his ability to do the job he loved. I can't tell you what was going through his head but, he hasn't supported the family in a long time. Like, he got himself into some sort of alcoholic slump and couldn't drag himself back out long enough to pull himself together and figure out that it wasn't the end of the world. I don't know how things got so bad, but eventually it was Dean keeping the family together, not John."

Jo paused and Charlie reached for her hand, twining their fingers together and the blonde giving a soft smile before continuing. "But what happened to Dean…seems to have given John the kick in his ass he needed to give life another shot. Dean was doing what he couldn't and I think, I think he felt ashamed. I overheard mom and Bobby talking about taking John in as a favor to Mary, so she could concentrate on Dean and what he needed while John would have Bobby help him do the same. He's getting training for a desk job that Bobby _desperately_ needed to fill, he's also going to AA and Bobby's his sponsor. He needs a hundred percent support just as much as Dean did and there was no way Mary could do it alone. So. This is good; this could be very good for their family. I've told you before, we've all tried, so hard to help them, but it's hard when they won't accept help. This, this is something we can do."

"And that makes you happy." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, yeah it does."


	48. Gabriel's Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Gabe's older than you, isn't he?" Cas looked over at Dean in surprise.  
> "How did you - oh, you probably saw it online."  
> "No, actually, I never looked up his age." A pause as Dean's eyes widened at the implications of his statement. "I mean, uh..."

Dean was smiling. Beaming even, as he watched Cas moving the knitting needles under Garth's ever patient instruction with so much concentration and seriousness. The tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth as his long fingers struggled - Dean couldn't decide which he wanted to stare at more, taking every opportunity to drink in the world around him as he could, but especially Cas.   


  
  


  
Sticking his tongue out like that was a very un-Cas like thing to do and still, he found it very endearing - oh god, he was such a sap! He looked around like someone could see the thoughts on his face and resolved never to say anything like that out loud. The guys at the shop would revoke his man card if they ever heard him talking like that. 

The ringing of a phone broke Cas's concentration and his fingers fumbled, one needle slipping right out of the stitches and hitting the floor with a muffled thud, metal on carpet. Cas muttered a curse as he reached for his phone. He saw who it was and groaned before answering it. 

"Gabriel." Dean couldn't understand the words, but Gabriel was loud enough to be heard, Cas pulling the phone away from his ear some and wincing.  "Calm down, Gabe, and slow down. What's the matter?" He rolled his eyes, catching Deans with a very put upon expression. "That's not an emergency, Gabriel. _How_ much sugar have you had? No, I think Kali's right to cut you off. Tell me again how you are not diabetic?" A pause. "No, you can't visit. No, I'm not avoiding you; I'm not actually home right now. Lawrence. None of your business." An exasperated sigh, "Yes, you would be correct."

Dean noticed Cas's voice taking on a slightly panicked tone, mixing with the already present exasperation.   
  
"No, you can't, Gabriel. No. I said no. I'm hanging up now. You behave." the blue eyed man took his phone away from his ear and jabbed at the screen, huffing out a breath of relief. Dean grinned.   
  
"Gabe's older than you, isn't he?" Cas looked over at Dean in surprise.   
  
"How did you - oh, you probably saw it online."   
  
"No, actually, I never looked up his age." A pause as Dean's eyes widened at the implications of his statement. "I mean, uh..."   
  
"Why Dean, did you look me up?"   
  
"Well, I um..." he fumbled. Castiel could stare at Deans blushing face forever. Well, not as forever as his eyes, but it was a near thing. Changing tactics, Dean tried for a distraction instead. Subtle it was not. Castiel refrained from grinning over the flustered man. "Uh...so, how's the knitting lesson going there, Cas? You getting the hang of it? Learning a new technique?" Dean pointed down at the ground.  Now it was the actors turn to blush, and he regretted not relishing Dean's discomfort a little more obviously when he had the chance.   
  
"Oh, no..." he groaned, as he reached down to pick up the needle he'd dropped and regarded the mess of green yarn in his hands. "Now what do I do?" he looked over at Garth expectantly.

"Well, the internet says you can just slip the needle back into the stitches. Just be careful that you don't miss any loops or pull them out by stretching too far. If you fail, I'm afraid we'll either both need more expert help, or you'll just have to start over." Provided Garth, who'd been uncharacteristically silent the past few minutes as his head had ping ponged back and forth between the two men.

"Ah, all right then."  Castiel frowned down at the mess in his hands and with blue eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed, he attempted to do as Garth had suggested, carefully picking each loop he could find up by the needle.  Dean rubbed at his temple briefly to relieve some of the pressure of his headache while he watched and hoped the headache wouldn't flare up again. It had been happening way more frequently than he could wish. The small, almost constant headache he could deal with, annoying and draining as it was, but when it flared up he felt practically incapacitated.

Before anyone could notice or comment, he dropped his hand back down to his own knitting and worked the needles back and forth, the sight of them moving reassuring.  After a short while, Garth left, leaving Cas and Dean by themselves again.

"So, Cas, when do you gotta leave?"

"Leave, Dean?" The actor looked up confused and…maybe a little hurt? Dean was unsure. He shrugged and looked down at the lumpy and misshapen piece of knitting he'd been working on.

"Yeah well, you've gotta have better stuff to do than uh…well…" He waved a hand around vaguely. "Don't you have like, conventions and other obligations? I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?"

"Oh, I see. Um, I do have an event in a couple of days that I can't get out of, so I'd have to leave by Thursday but, uh, I was hoping that…" the blue eyed man paused and Dean looked up, their eyes catching on each other, staring deep, "um, would I be able to visit once in a while? Or, maybe, um, Skype? Charlie showed me how to set it up."

"Yeah, yeah of course, if you want." Dean blushed and saw Cas follow suit, with the addition of a small, relieved smile. "Hey um, before you leave would you uh, want to…" _Damn, Dean,_ he thought to himself, _you can be a hell of a lot smoother than this_. His stomach felt like it'd given birth to a shitload of butterflies, but he pressed on "uh, go grab dinner or something?"

"Like a date?"

"Y-yeah, yeah, if, uh, if you want." Dean trailed off uncertainly, unsure of where they were at, despite the kiss only two nights ago. Castiel dropped his own poor attempts at knitting to the side and leaned close enough to Dean to place a hand on his arm. He smiled again.

"I'd love that, Dean."


	49. Date Night: Take 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean takes Cas out on that date....and reintroduces him to Baby while he's at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm counting the meetup at the bar as an unofficial date, despite how badly it ended.

Dean fidgeted nervously. He slid his hands down his shirts, tugging and straightening them out before slinging his leather jacket on over it all. Not that he really needed it for warmth but, he knew it looked good on him. One last look in the mirror – oh and god, he was still so grateful for the ability to see, something he would never take for granted again – and he was good to go. He snagged his keys, wallet and phone on his way out of his room and met Castiel in the living room. Dean jerked his head towards the door.

"Ready for take 2, Cas?" Cas gave a nod combined with one of his rare grins that crinkled the skin around those gorgeous blue eyes. God, Dean had the feeling he could get lost in those eyes forever, and he was so, _so_  glad that he could see them again. Cas was gorgeous, just gorgeous -  _he could think of no better word than this_  -  inside and out, but it was those eyes and that scruffy grin that just took his breath away.

He opened the door, gestured for his date –  _his date!_  - to go first and then headed over to his Impala. It was time for Cas's first ride in his Baby. Unlocking the door for him, Dean watched him eye the Impala appreciatively.  Cas had already passed this test, but now Dean could actually  _see_  his reaction and it made him beam. He jogged over and got in, turning the car on, the local station Jo had left it on was blaring Led Zeppelin, but he quickly turned it down a couple notches so as not to make Cas's eardrums bleed.  He grinned happily when he saw the blue eyed man take a look at the stereo and nod approvingly.

The drive over to the Roadhouse was fairly quick, and he was reveling in being behind the wheel of his Baby once again. He hoped that Cas didn't think it lame that he was bringing him back not only to a place he'd already been, but to a place owned by people that were practically family, instead of looking for someplace fancier. But he'd always thought the best food ever was right here, at Ellen's, he just hoped they didn't mess with him and Cas too much.

Dean thought the date was going well, ignoring the low headache he'd had most of the day. The food was as good as it always was, and for once, neither Ellen nor Jo teased him or his date too much. He nodded his hellos to a few other regulars as they entered the bar and restaurant. Before Cas and Dean could completely settle down in Deans regular booth, miraculously left empty _almost_ anytime he wanted the booth rather than sit at the bar, Jo had materialized with two beers and placed the cold bottles in front of them.   
  
"So, Dean, the usual?" a nod from the green eyed man had Jo turning towards Cas. "Want the same as last time? I heard from mom you were really taken with it."   
  
"If you wouldn't mind, thank you."  Jo grinned at the blue eyed actor and knocked on the table.   
  
"Okay then, be right up."  She practically skipped off and Dean's eyes followed her retreating figure suspiciously.   
  
"She's awful cheery today..." he muttered before turning back to his date.  "So what did you get last time?"   
  
"A really, _really_  good burger. Um...Ellen Deluxe House Special, something or other. I think." Cas scrunched his face as he tried to recall the name.   
  
Dean grinned. "Man after my own heart. Those are good. I haven't ever had one better anywhere else. Not even moms."  

Being left relatively alone while they ate, they made quick – if quite appreciative – work of their meals; the only sounds from the booth for a short while were the moans they made around their burgers.   Both of them sort of blushed and then seemed to challenge each other on what noises they could make while eating the delicious burgers. Strangely enough, or maybe not so strangely, the booths around them stayed empty even as the rest of the place filled up.

"I think we're scaring people away with our sounds." Dean grinned messily and Cas snorted, almost choking on the last bite of burger.

"I guess we _are_ making some rather…" he paused, searching for the right word, " _indecent_ noises." Dean chortled at Cas's phrasing before they both lost it and started outright laughing and almost wheezing.

"What do you want to do after this? Ellen's got a pool table hiding over in that corner, if you're interested?" Dean nodded his head at the corner in question and Cas turned to give it an appraising look.  He turned back to Dean.

"I don't know, it looks like it's already occupied."

  
  


"Oh, that's just Ash. He does that all the time. If you wanna give it a go, Ellen'll kick him off it, no problem. Or we can. She'd probably just tell us to 'man up' and do it ourselves anyway."

"Well, it's just that, he looks so comfortable…" the blue eyed man smiled mischievously.

"Nah, he's just drunk."

"He does this often?" an eyebrow raised at Dean and Dean laughed.

"Oh yeah, the Roadhouse is like his home away from home or something. He keeps trying to lay claim to that table and Ellen has to keep disabusing him from that notion. In all actuality, she'll be grateful we rousted him from his slumber."

Cas beamed over at Dean, wondering how the man couldn't realize just how smart he was. He always seemed to downplay it, but when he wasn't paying attention, the actor would notice moments like these. "Well then, let us do the lady a favor."


	50. Aftermath of Date Night - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the date...not quite what Dean was expecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEP! sorry. Poor Dean :(

The low grade headache Dean had been successfully ignoring all night started ramping up during their second game of pool after a hilariously fun time waking up Ash and making him find somewhere else to sleep it off.  Cas looked at him inquiringly a few times, tried to ask him if he was all right, but Dean just waved him off.

"Nah, Cas, I'm fine. 's a small headache I already took something for and I'm having a blast here. Now, watch a master at work, I'm gonna win this round."

It wasn't until he stumbled and scratched on a perfectly easy shot that he finally admitted to Cas that maybe the headache was a little stronger than he'd let on, and that the Tylenol he took didn't seem to be helping any.  Cas took him by both hands and lead him away from the pool table and to the closest empty booth, helping him slide into it and sliding right in alongside him. Castiel dropped Dean's hands and put his own around the freckled face before him, trying to check him over.

And that’s when the headache worsened to a magnitude of pain Dean hadn't expected based on the others, his stomach becoming nauseous along with it, surprising a groan out of him and he fell against Cas. Just his luck, of course, just his frickin' luck. Here he was on the best date he'd ever been on, and he was certain that was due primarily to the fact that it was _Cas_ , and he'd just become a helpless, whiny, invalid. He tried to take deep breaths and had to hold back the…yeah, there it was…a fuckin' whine. Goddammit.

  
  


"Easy, Dean, easy…"

"Dean, what's wrong honey?"

Dean burrowed into Cas, simply trying to breath and bear the pain and whimpered. He could hear the voices, but none of it was registering with him. Cas didn't even look away from him as he answered Ellen, his hands had moved from cupping Deans face to rubbing at his temples in hopes of being able to relieve some of the pain, but unsure if it would help at all.  It could be the completely wrong type of pressure and hell, he was an actor, not a doctor. He'd never even played on tv. God, if Dean wasn't feeling so bad, he would have laughed at that. He'd have to remember to tell it to him later, just to see him smile.

"It's a headache. I guess he was warned he might get some even if his sight returned but…some of them seem really bad to me."

"Shit, well he can't drive home like that. Should we take him to a doctor?"

"I am…unsure." Cas finally looked up at Ellen. "He and Mary already went to his doctor and he didn't seem fazed by the headaches at all. From what I understood, he seemed to expect them." He turned his full attention back to Dean and almost didn't notice when Ellen left until she came back, with a glass of cool water and a cold washcloth. She handed the cloth to Castiel and placed the glass on the table.

"Try to get him to drink some water, and maybe the cloth on his head could help? I dunno. But if this doesn't go away in a few minutes, you might want to dig through his pockets for his keys and get him home. I'll help get him to the car, and then I'll call his mother, let her know to expect the both of you so she can help when you get him back to his house."

"Thanks Ellen."

"Of course, Cas." She hesitated, looking at the tableau before, noticing the real care and concern the blue eyed man had for Dean and the way Dean seemed to seek comfort from him in return.  She'd never seen Dean like this before. She clapped a hand on Cas's shoulder, startling him into looking back up at her. "You take care of him." He stared at her solemnly for a moment, than nodded, and the sincerity in his eyes, well, that was enough for her.  She headed back to the bar to make a call.


	51. Aftermath of Date Night – Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting Dean back from the roadhouse...some realizations on everyones part.

Castiel was severely grateful that the Roadhouse wasn't more than a 10 minute drive from Deans home, and that his phone had at least a basic GPS. Dean was curled up in the passenger seat, obviously still suffering and it hurt Cas just to watch and not be able to comfort him. But someone had to drive.

No sooner had he parked in the driveway and the distinctive, rumbling sound of the engine had died, then Mary came rushing out of the house, making a beeline for the passenger door. Cas quickly got out and made his way over to help Mary bring Dean inside and to his room.

Laying him out on his bed, Cas watched Mary press a soothing hand across the freckled face lined in pain. Suddenly feeling like he was intruding, he started to back away but Dean didn't let go. In fact, he clutched at Cas, eyes squeezed shut, breathing going even more uneven. "Don't…" Dean tried to speak, but it came out as a barely there whisper that faded with the effort to fight through the pain and nausea.

Mary looked at Castiel with understanding eyes and laid her other hand on his. She nodded at him, then towards Dean.

"Go ahead, he needs you just as much, or more than I. I'll be right back." Cas nodded and then settled into a sitting position on the bed, Dean curling into his body, his head in Castiel's lap as he continued to clutch at him.

  
  


Mary returned shortly with a glass of water and a cool cloth, just like Ellen had, but with the addition of stronger pain pills. She placed the glass onto the nightstand, handed Cas the cloth which he immediately put to use, and opened the pill bottle.

"Help him sit up so we can get him to take these. When he's done, I'm scheduling him a new appointment. This…seems like way more than was expected." She paused as the two of them coaxed Dean into taking the pills and laying back down. Cas running soothing hands around Deans head. After a while, the crease between his eyes eased and Dean seemed to settle into a doze under the watchful eyes of both Mary and Castiel. She sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle or crowd the two men, and ran a hand through her own long hair.

"God." She breathed. "Thank god you were with him.  How…how sudden was it?"

"To get as bad as it did? Pretty sudden. It was clear he was feeling off for a short while beforehand but he, he denied it. I don’t think he expected this either. Or for it to get as bad as it did."  She shuddered at his words.

"Can you imagine if he was driving?" Castiel blanched at her words, looking at her in horror, his hands stilling on Deans head.  He leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes and swallowing. It was horrific to think about the possibilities of what could have been, but he couldn't help it. He could easily imagine Dean gravely injured or dead because he wrapped his Baby around a tree, or caused a major traffic accident during an episode such as this. There was no way it was safe for Dean to be driving.  And maybe almost as bad…

"What about the garage?" he managed to open his eyes again, looking at Mary. She returned his gaze with such a sad look, he already knew the answer to his question. A confirmation of what he was already thinking. The potential for endangering significant amounts of bystanders would drop, but the danger to Dean would most definitely not.  The two of them shared a few long moments of silence before Mary stood up.

"Make yourself comfortable Castiel, and if you need anything, if Dean needs anything, let me know."

"Of course, thank you, Mary."

"No, thank _you_ , Castiel." She leaned over Dean and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and, before Castiel even realized her intention, did the same for him.

***************************************************************

Dean woke, his head blissfully pain free, something that hadn't happened too often in the past few days. He awoke in darkness and he panicked. His whole body jerked and his breathing came rapidly. Something...no, someone...beside him moved and a low voice rumbled near his ear questioningly, worriedly.

"Dean..."

"I can't see, shit...!" he gasped, "Cas...I can't..."  arms wrapped around him.

"Shhh...Dean, it's okay. It's after midnight; the lights are off...your eyes just need a moment to adjust."

"What if they don't? What if I've lost my sight again?" Dean was still gasping, shuddering with pure panic in Cas's arms. "What if it keeps happening? Or becomes permanent?"

Castiel let go with one arm and Dean heard him fumble around next to him, a clatter on the nightstand before he found what he was looking for.

"Here." He murmured and a faint rectangle appeared in Dean's vision, angled so as not to blind him with its sudden brightness. He started to calm, his breaths slowly evening out.

"Shit. I'm such a goddamned mess." he muttered, leaning forward, pulling his knees in and up, resting his forehead against them, wrapping his own arms around himself. A hand started rubbing his back soothingly. Without even realizing it, his breathing steadied further and he relaxed back into Cas's hand humming contentedly.

"Think you can fall back asleep?" Castiel asked quietly.

"Hmmmm..." Dean let his legs fall flat on the bed and leaned back and against Cas, his eyes closing almost against his will. He _was_ tired, but closing his eyes meant darkness… "Yeah, I think so…What about…um…You don't have to stay here. If you don't want." He really didn't want Cas to leave, but didn’t want to make him feel like he _had_ to stay.

"I'll stay if, if you want me too?" Dean twisted his head to look at Cas and squinted one eye open, seeing concern and hope in the blue eyes he could swear were glowing in the faint light from his phone. Dean almost snorted. Of course the dork had a flashlight app on his phone. Otherwise, it should have timed out by now. Okay, maybe Dean could admit there might be a good reason to get the app. He'd tried using his own phone a few times to light his way in unfamiliar territory and it always had the bad habit of turning off at the worst times. But he'd felt silly to get an app to do something the phone already did naturally.

Instead of actually answering, he simply let his head fall against Cas's shoulder and let his eyes fall completely closed this time, relaxing into the warmth of the body next to him. He turned his body towards Cas's and brought an arm up and over, possibly a little possessively. Dean was too tired to even think about that. It didn't take long for the other man to relax in turn and Dean hummed contentedly again. Feeling much calmer now – and that was certainly a record for him, how fast that had happened, Castiel's simple presence more help than anything else he had ever tried – he quickly fell asleep.


	52. Making Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit - Now we have a pic :D

When Dean woke again, light was streaming in through the windows and he was alone in the bed. He tried not to feel disappointed about that. Whatever was going on, it was too early for him to be so…clingy. Besides, nothing had happened. Cas had just been helping him. He flushed in the memory of his panic the night before. How needy he'd been. Not just during his panic but…when he'd become incapacitatde by the pain earlier that same night.

As he dressed, he reflected on the actors words from just a few days ago now, their heart to heart in the middle of the night in the middle of the frickin' hallway.  He nearly snorted at the thought that he, Dean Winchester, would of course have a dreaded chick flick moment in the unlikeliest of places. The amusement over that was better than the shame he was trying to avoid feeling because of last night. After all, if the roles were reversed, just as Cas had said, Dean wouldn't have thought any less of the person who had needed his help. So why should he feel ashamed?

He followed voices out into the kitchen where he found his mother sitting at the table with Castiel, both with mugs in their hands.  Neither had seen him yet as he paused in the doorway and just stared at the blue eyed man, looking his fill. It was a few moments before their words penetrated his sleep fogged brain.

"You leave today, don't you?" His mother asked quietly, taking a sip from her mug. Castiel nodded wearily – how much had he slept while watching over Dean? the green eyed man wondered – and answered just as wearily.

"I'm afraid that I do."

"You don't seem very happy about that. I mean, I thought you liked your job? You seem very good at it, from what I've seen."

"I do. It's the public appearances I could stand without. They are…very draining. It always seems particularly daunting when there are other...places I'd rather be." Cas looked up and noticed Dean standing in the doorway. His polite, tired smile making way for a bigger, happier grin at the sight of the bow legged man before him. But all he said was, "Good morning."

"Morning." Dean rumbled, barely coherent. He walked over to them, dropping a kiss to his mothers' cheek before sitting alongside Cas, sitting closer than he needed to but unable to stop himself from doing so. He noted the piles of toast and bacon on the two large plates between them and snagged some even as his mother got up to make him his own mug of breakfast brew.

"Coffee or tea today dear?" Dean just grunted as he shoved some bacon into his mouth. There were priorities after all. "Coffee it is. More tea, Cas?" She looked back at the actor, who just nodded distractedly. She smiled and turned back to make  a mug for Dean as the water started to heat up.   "I made another appointment with the doctor, dear. To discuss last night."

"What is there to discuss? I was warned I'd get headaches."  Dean mumbled. "They'll just give the same advice and crap as they did before. Hey Cas, what time do you have to leave today? I could drive you to the airport if you want." He eyed the blue eyed man questioningly. Not that he wanted him to leave, but Cas sure as shit had things he needed to be doing, so Dean was going to take advantage of any and every moment they had left.

"Dean!" the sound of a mug slamming to the counter had Dean turning with a startled and confused look on his face.

"What? Wait, you didn't schedule the appointment for -" Dean didn't even get the chance to finish.

"I have no idea when he's leaving and at any rate, that has nothing to do with it. You can't honestly believe you're going to just go out driving after what happened last night?" Mary said incredulously. She knew Dean was stubborn, but this was too much.

"It was just a headache mom." He groused.

"No, Dean. It was you, in so much pain that...you were in no condition to drive in any way whatsoever. Cas had to help you home. _He_ drove the Impala. I don't think you were even aware of much that was happening. Could you imagine, just imagine sweetie, oh god…" Mary had walked back to the table as she talked and she finally dropped into the chair next to her eldest son, her hands rising to cover her mouth as her voice broke. "What if you'd been _driving_ when it happened, Dean? What if…" Her hands moved from her mouth to covering her entire face, head bowing forward. In a panic wholly different than what he'd experienced last night, but no less extreme, Dean moved forward, folding his mother into his arms.

"No mom, I'm okay. Nothing happened. I wasn't driving, I wasn't alone. I'm here, no more accidents right?" He pressed his face into her shoulder and rubbed her back with his hands, feeling her shake with silent sobs.  He was desperate to make her feel better. This whole thing had been a strain on everyone, he'd known it, and she was finally showing the toll. It broke his heart. This was the kind of trouble he wished he could avoid, for precisely this reason. He didn't want to make anyone worry over him, to be upset, least of all his mother."I won't drive. I promise, I won't drive again till I get the okay from the doc."

After a few more minutes of soothing sounds and motions, he could feel his mother had finally calmed down as she nodded her head  into his own shoulder, her face still covered in her hands. But now she was dropping her hands and wrapping her arms around Dean. She took in a breath.

"You promise?"

"Yeah, mom. I promise."  


	53. I'm Leaving on a  Jet Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has to leave, but nobody has to like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry, I watched Armageddon recently and just LOVE that song)
> 
> So picture - I LOVE this picture. It's one of the closest things I've ever drawn to a kiss and I wasn't sure how to do it, but I love this. This picture? is calling me to make a really nice version instead of just this quicky sketch. Should I do it???

In the end, Mary wound up driving them both in her own car down to the airport after stopping by the Roadhouse so Castiel could say goodbye to Charlie and his new friends.  They walked him to the security check point and took turns making their own goodbyes to him. Castiel was surprised when Mary wrapped him in another hug, though he supposed he shouldn't have been after their initial meeting had also ended - begun, he corrected himself - in a hug.  
  
"You keep in touch, all right? Feel free to come by anytime."  He bent down enough to return her hug and nodded.

"Of course." She let go and turned to her son, touching his arm on her way past.

"I'll be in the car so we don't get towed." His gaze followed her out and then returned to Castiel. He stood awkwardly before him and he suddenly laughed when he realized Cas was standing just as awkwardly.

"So…what she said." Dean finally said, after their laughter died down, his arm reaching behind his head and rubbing at the back of his neck. "And God, Cas I…I'm sorry about last night."

"Dean, there's no reason to be…"

"C'mon Cas, that had to have been the worst date you've ever been on…having to cut it short to take care of my own stubborn, not to mention panicky, ass…" Dean winced. He was doing what he'd been trying not to do. Dammit.

"Dean." Cas said softly, reaching a hand out to his cheek and cupping his jaw, bringing his gaze back to him.  Blue eyes stared into green, willing them to see the truth of his words. "Maybe it didn't go as planned but…I still had a wonderful time.  Though I could wish you hadn't been in pain, I still greatly enjoyed your company, which I thought was rather the point."  Dean cleared his throat roughly, working around the lump.

"Yeah, yeah Cas, it was." His expression lost the pained look, relaxing into something else as they stared at each other, lost in the moment until one of them, neither was sure who, leaned forward and meshed their lips together in a sudden and heated kiss that was returned just as fervently.

They didn’t know how long they stood like that, oblivious to all around them when Dean's pants vibrated and he jumped.

"Crap…" he muttered, ignoring the phone that continued to vibrate. It was probably his mother wondering -  _she knew full well,_ he groused internally- what was taking so long. He found his hands had tangled into the short, dark hair on Cas's head and he leaned forward again, knocking their foreheads together.  "I had wanted, had hoped, to do that last night…" he trailed off, looking at Cas's eyes and noting the warmth and delight in them.  He flicked his eyes down at the hint of movement to see a wide grin enveloping his face, scrunching up his nose and crinkling around the corners of his eyes. Dean thought that it just might be his favorite expression of Cas's.

 A thumb ran across his freckled cheekbone as they stood there in silence, comfortable and unbroken by the chaos around them.  Finally Dean sighed and closed his eyes briefly before opening them and pulling away.  His hands trailed down, down, through Cas's hair to fall onto his shoulders, sliding down his arms and taking both hands into his own.

"You better go before I make you late, man." Dean said reluctantly. Just as reluctantly, Castiel nodded.  They let go of each other's hands after a quick squeeze, and then Castiel reached down to pick up his bag and sling it over his shoulder.

"I'll call when I land, so you know I got in safely."

"You better. These things are a deathtrap and I'll never get in one."  Dean said vehemently. Cas raised his eyebrow and looked at Dean as if to say, 'Are you sure about that?' and Dean shrugged a little sheepishly. "Okay, maybe, but definitely not willingly, but I suppose there could be circumstances that would uh…override my better judgment in that regard."  The two of them shared a laugh and Deans pants vibrated again. Another quick kiss, just a peck to lips this time, and Castiel turned reluctantly and made his way through the security check.  Once through he turned back to find Dean still standing there and he waved before disappearing into the crowds.

Dean sighed and finally fished his phone out of his pocket as he made his way to the exit and back to the car. Four missed calls? He could only remember two.  All from his mother of course.  Wow…he was really lost in Cas if he'd missed that. He slipped into the car with a smile on his face, replaying their kiss.   It took a few moments for Mary's attempts to get his attention got through to him and he jolted a little, looking over at her, a sheepish look on his face for the second time that day.

"Umm…"

"Never mind, Dean." She smiled gently at him and started the car, Dean losing himself in his thoughts, distracting him from the ache in his head.


	54. Do I Hear Knocking?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Cas leaves, Dean is all restless when Mary comes in to talk about his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Opportunity Knocks, just reach out and grab it (together we'll nab it) *Singing Muppet Songs*
> 
> So, this is another departure for the picture. Got a tiny bit fancy. Hope you like it?  
> this chapter is over 3 pages long on my word document. I hope you like it too :D

Dean found himself knocking around his room a few hours after leaving Cas at the airport. He'd had his appointment at the doctors where the bastard had – rightly so, he begrudgingly thought – banned him from driving or working at the garage or doing anything of a similar nature for his own safety and the safety of others. It was the thought of hurting other people that had sealed it for him. Now he felt at a loss. In a way, it was worse than when he was blind, and he really didn't understand it.

Forcing himself to stop moving, he flopped down on the bed and draped an arm across his eyes, trying to ignore the headache that had been unrelenting for most of the day and sighed.  How could this possibly be worse than when he was blind? That didn't make any sense and he knew it but…he was just as useless – stop that Dean! – and just as aimless.  He could…work more on his knitting, he supposed. He did have that bet with Jo after all. Or he could practice his guitar. No one was home right now, so he wouldn't be bothering anyone.  Not that his mother would have complained, oh no, but still…

It was the headache. That's what it had to be. Unrelenting, constant, annoying…he was sure he could think of more words to ascribe to it if he could concentrate better. Yup, the headache. Otherwise, he'd be picking up either one of his new hobbies or his sketchbook and not ignoring the fact that he was actually missing Cas already, and that it was likely for that reason he was so…restless.

Wait, that’s what he'd do! He pushed himself up from the bed and almost lunged across the room to pick up the sketchbook that had been laying on his dresser untouched since he and Jo had returned from the convention. Any longer and he was sure it'd be covered in dust. He opened up one of the twin drawers in the top of the dresser and pulled out a set of Derwent graphite pencils and a plastic box of random colored pencils.

He was pretty proud of his pencil collection, actually. The box was an eclectic combination of the best pencils from so many different sets he'd collected over the years. He had children's Crayola pencils, cheap knock off pencils, the more expensive Designs and Prisma colors - though he liked the softer 'lead' and more vibrant tones of the Designs better than the Prismas which tended to have harder leads and duller results. He'd scored a number of random and weird pencils from yard sales that he didn't think people even _made_ anymore.  By taking in all those different pencils he had a great variety in color selections seeing as the Prismas had colors the Designs didn't and so on and so forth.

Settling down on his bed, Dean opened the book to a fresh page and, setting aside the colored pencils for a moment, he grabbed his sketching pencils first. Normally, he wanted to use the softer leaded pencils, but he had something different in mind this time and he pulled out one of the lower numbered pencils with the thinner, harder point.  Careful not to press too hard, he started sketching an outline very lightly to the page. It didn't take long for the shape of a face to take form, with a heavy concentration on the eyes…

When he had the layout the way he wanted, proportions and shades and details all ready for the next steps, he laid the graphite pencil back in its tin and opened the box of colored pencils. Inside, separated by color spectrum, was every color pencil he'd scrounged up over the years. It was, in fact, a sizeable box. Pulling out the grouping of blues, he closed the box so the rest wouldn't spill out and started sorting through looking for the perfect combination of blues, testing each one on the paper taped to the top of his plastic box.

When he'd found the ones he wanted, he idly looked at the brand names on the sides and grinned, amused as ever by the fact that the combination he chose used pencils from many different sets. He may not have gone to a school for art, but he'd never understood people who refused to use different sets because of stupid reasons like "This set is for kids." Or "Those are cheap." Colors were colors, and it did no good to stick to one type if you couldn't find or make the colors you wanted. Even _he_ had his preferences, but if Dean needed a color, he used it.

He set to work and quickly lost himself in the picture before him. Even the headache that had been ever present most of the day became a residual and unacknowledged annoyance that lost its bite in the fascination before him. Soulful, blue eyes stared up at him, seeming somehow to pierce deep into his own despite just being a two dimensional depiction of the real thing.

He was so lost in what he was doing, that it wasn't until he was almost done, having moved on from the blues of the eyes to a new set of colors and putting the finishing touches on the skin tones he'd pulled, that he was snapped out of it by a smothered gasp. He startled and jerked up, his hand stilling on the last strokes.

Dean had thought he was home alone and hadn't closed his door. Hadn't heard his mother returning home. Mary usually respected his privacy, and she hadn't ever gone snooping through his things or snuck a peek at his sketchbook after he made his wishes to keep it private known. Now that he thought about it, Dean couldn't recall the last time he'd shown his mother any of his art. He supposed that whatever his skill level would be considered now, it had to leagues above what he used to be capable of.

Mary, in the meantime, was looking down at the sketch in Dean's hands, awe and pride evident in her face. She still had a hand covering her mouth. She had come in to ask if Dean wanted something to eat. She'd been right next to him before she realized he hadn't even been aware of her coming in, and when she'd caught a look at his project she had tried not to interrupt. Staring down at his green eyes that looked up at hers in surprise, she dropped her hand and shrugged apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to...pry." She paused and looked down again. The spitting image of Castiel looked back at her. "Dean is…this from memory?" He looked down, his hand making an abortive attempt to cover the picture in pure reflex before he stopped himself. It was too late, now, anyway.

"Yeah, it's um…there's a lot of mistakes, I know…"

"Dean, sweetie, it looks…gorgeous. It looks just like him. You've, I don't know how you've done it, and from memory no less, but you've captured him perfectly." Dean looked down nerviously, then back up at his mom.

"Yeah, you uh, you think so?"

"I do. Can I…?" She trailed off, reaching for the sketchbook but stopping short of actually grabbing it, waiting for Deans' decision.  Instead, he started gathering up the pencils he had been working with and putting them away, then shifting before he patted the bed beside him. Sitting together now, he handed his sketchbook to his mother, still nervous.

Opening it to the first page, she started to slowly flip them, looking at her son's art for the first time in years.  Each flip was made reverently, pausing on certain pictures, her eyes shining with wet, unshed tears.

"Dean, these are…these are beautiful." She looked at portrait after portrait of herself, and other members of their ragtag little family. She almost snorted in amusement over the numerous pictures of his Baby. There were occasional still life's but it was the portraits that took her breath away. Finally, she ended up back on the page with the blue eyed actor, Dean fidgeting nervously beside her.

Slowly, Mary handed the sketchbook back to her son, and then dropped her hand to his arm, looking him in the eye.

"Dean Winchester, if you don't take these last few weeks as a sign that you have an opportunity to pursue this, an opportunity that should not be missed, I will be very upset with you." He looked at her startled, and she narrowed her eyes at him as if she suspected he might protest.

"But…"

"Dean." She narrowed her eyes further, almost squinting at him. He stared at her before he started laughing at how ridiculous she appeared. She tried to keep a straight face but failed as she watched the mirth rolling over his face. He finally wound down to snickers.

"You about done there, Dean?"

"Yeah, I'm done."

"And…?"

He sobered. "Mom…I just…I'm needed here. I can still…"

"No Dean. Look, I've been talking to Sam, and he's scored some extra scholarships. He doesn't need any more help, from you _or_ me. Your father is working again and much as Bobby would love to keep you on, he won't be able to come up with enough deskwork for the both of you. Now look, what John gets can replace what you were getting before. And he can help this family again and in so doing, help himself. That’s a good thing." She paused.  "No, don't look like that, Dean. Dean! Stop. You've earned this many times over. Don't you dare feel guilty that you aren't contributing.  Be happy that it's not dire that you do. "

"That…doesn't mean we have enough money to send me to school too mom."

"But we do, Dean.

"How?"

"The fundraiser." He opened his mouth to protest and she cut him off. "You already accepted it Dean."

"That money was meant for medical bills, for, for, house bills, to survive, get food. Not…for something… _frivolous_ like this." He waved his hand at the sketchbook laying in his lap before dropping both his hands there. The headache lingering in the background suddenly flared a little, but thankfully not to the levels it had hit most recently. Mary reached forward and grabbed his hands, clasping them together as he stared down at the eyes on the page.

"Dean, it's _not_ frivolous. Getting an education in something you enjoy, something you're good at, something that could make you happy. It's not frivolous." She repeated, needing to get this drilled into his head. "And once you're done, there are so many places, so many directions you could go with something like this. You've taken care of everyone else for a long time. Let us take care of you for once. You deserve it, sweetie.  If it's that much of an issue…you can always, well, like Cas said, give back to the community in some way. Maybe in small ways now, in bigger ways later. Doesn't matter how, or when…if it makes you feel better about accepting that money, or that help, now. You wouldn't hesitate to do this for someone else.  You owe it to yourself not to hesitate, to not treat yourself any different than you would a loved one."

Dean stared at his mother. He'd heard her words before.  Said in different ways, but none of it had ever registered, or penetrated his thick skull. But it seemed that Cas had found a way to say them that broke through his thinking, it had paved the way for his mothers words to finally make the headway they'd been striving for, for years. Dean still felt a little guilty for no longer being the one helping the family, for no longer being _capable_ of it even. He felt even more guilty for what seemed like taking advantage of strangers money and kindness.  She looked at him sadly, and spoke quietly enough that he almost had to strain to hear her.

"Dean, it would be a waste to squander the talent I see before me. What would you say if it was Sam? What if he suddenly decided that he didn't deserve those scholarships over another person and decided to drop out of school to allow someone else to benefit from them?" Dean looked up at her sharply.

"I'd kick his ass!" She just looked at him and he deflated and sighed. "Okay…I'll, um…look into it, okay? I'm not promising anything, just…I'll check around and see what the options are. I'm not gonna need anything fancy, that’s for damn sure."

"That’s all I can ask Dean. I just want you to take this seriously, entertain this idea seriously for once. If it's truly something you don't want, I won't force you. But…I don't think that’s true. Am I right?" He dropped his eyes again and nodded. "If you want any help, you know I'm here. I'll give you the same help I gave Sam. There are so many options out there if you know how to look. You won't regret this, Dean, I'm sure of it. God, I'm so proud of you!" She dropped his hands and, being careful of the precious sketches in his lap, grabbed him into a hug. He wasted no time in putting his own arms around her, burying his face in her hair, his throat tight with so many feelings, taking comfort in his mom. What would he ever do with out her?


	55. Gabriel Makes Good on his Threat to Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel finally gets a chapter to himself, and shows up unannounced at the Winchesters household.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2011 words or 3 1/2 pages....  
> Gabriel is FUN to write! I hope I can keep this up!
> 
> Happy Valentines Day! I"m sorry there's no picture, but I didn't want to keep holding this back just because i didn't have one. I DID put up 6 new pictures into older chapters a few days ago though if you haven't seen them yet.

Gabriel pulled up in front of the home with the black monster of a car sitting in the driveway. It wasn't the only car there, but it was the most in your face. He had to admit, it was in great condition, even if cars weren't his thing. But never mind that now, because _now_ was his chance. He grinned to himself. He'd seen Charlie's most recent YouTube video and it had been _brilliant_. It was obvious as anything to see that Cassie was totally caught up in this Dean character. And now he had more info on the one and only Dean. Had found out what exactly had happened to him and that he wasn't just a money grubber if his desperate attempts to get people to stop sending him money was any indication.

So far, a point in his favor. Because seriously, if another guy - well _any_ one really -went after his little brother for his fame and fortune – which while not as great as other peoples, was still significant –   _again,_  Gabriel was going to go postal. He wasn't kidding. He'd go and buy a post man's outfit just so that he could do so. Maybe he'd even get a job at the post office to really sell the part – temporarily of course.

Caught in his musings, he chuckled as he finished parking the rental car and then bounded up to the front door of the house with barely restrained energy. Very barely. He pressed the bell. Then for good measure, pressed it 10 more times in rapid succession, listening to each abortive attempt to start its ring before he allowed it to complete its siren song.

He always did have a way with words, he thought proudly. Well, in his oh so humble opinion anyway, and really, that was all that mattered. His grin didn't lessen any when an older, blonde haired lady answered the door. Yanking the almost ever present lollipop out of his mouth, he spoke.

"Ah, beautiful young lady, I'm here to talk to one Dean Winchester, extraordinaire."  He popped the lollipop back into his mouth. She looked at him in a mixture of confusion, surprise and mirth. He preened under her gaze as she took in his ridiculous outfit that he had oh so carefully picked out before he'd hopped on a plane this morning. He was cutting things close, he knew it, but he wasn't letting this opportunity go by.

"Well, I'm his mother, Mary. And who might you be?"

"Gabriel Milton. The more well known – and better liked - brother of Cassie…"

"Cassie…?" she stared at him, the confusion on her face getting stronger. "Why don't you come in while we figure this out?" She finally opened the door wider and Gabriel took his opportunity to saunter in. He looked around the worn and yet still warm and friendly room as a dog raced to his feet. Bending down quickly, he started roughly petting the dog and scratching behind his ears. "And this is Bones. Don't let him fool you, he's not as attention starved as he'd like you to believe."

"To a dog, anything less than constant attention would count as attention starved."

"That sounds about right." She smiled down at the wriggling dog and the accommodating young man. "Now, I'm still very confused. I thought I knew all Deans friends…and I don’t know anyone called Cassie."

"Ah, well, Deano and I actually only briefly met. He was somehow smitten and won over by my brother, even though I obviously have the better charms. Oh well, no accounting for taste, I suppose. " Gabriel stood up and followed Mary into the kitchen, rather liking the open concept between that room and the living room he'd just left. Bones eagerly followed along behind and thrust his head into Gabriel's lap as soon as he'd sat down.

"Would you like a drink?" He nodded while reaching back down to scratch the ears of the very happy retriever. "So Cassie…do you mean Castiel?"

"One and the same Mrs. Winchester! What a smart cookie you are! " She raised an eyebrow at him. He sputtered at the look. "Um…"

"You know, the two of you look nothing alike."

"Yes, a fact that poor, plain Cassie has lamented often. It hurts not to be blessed with the same good looks as your older brother, I'm sure. Not that I've ever had to deal with that myself, since I'm better looking than both our elder brothers."

"Well, I regret to tell you, but your brother is no longer here. He has an event this weekend and we just dropped him off at the airport quite a few hours ago." She lifted her wrist to check her watch. "Actually, I'm betting he's landed already. Probably a short time ago unless there were any delays."

"Don't worry, Mrs. W. I'm not here for good old Cassie. Well, I guess you could say I am, in a way, but I don't need him here for this. I already know my brother, I don't need to go through the trouble of sizing him up. And I wouldn't be here to do the same for Dean, if I couldn't see how obviously smitten my brother is for him."

"You're checking into Dean? Looking out for your little brother?" A nod from Gabriel and she laughed. "I'm going to guess that if you two don't go to blows in your um…enthusiasm to protect Cas, you'd get along very well. Deans pretty protective of _his_ little brother as well. I'm sure he'd understand and even appreciate the sentiment."

"Appreciate what sentiment?" Dean grumbled, looking rumpled as he walked in. Mary looked up and smiled.

"How's your head, sweetie?"

"Bearable. Hey, I can't find my keys."

"Dean!" The sharpness in her voice made Dean wince.

"Not goin' driving mom, jeez...Just wanted to check her over after last night."

"Check  _her_  over…? Two timin' my brother already?" Gabriel half rose from his seat as Dean whipped his head towards him in confusion.

"What the hell? Who are you?" Dean squinted over at the man he'd barely paid any attention to when he'd walked in. He'd just assumed it was someone he knew and he'd figure it out when he spoke up. Obviously, he was wrong.

"Both of you calm down. Gabriel, sit and drink your tea." Mary put several filled mugs on the table. Hesitantly, Gabriel listened to her and sat down.

"Tea?" he questioned. Dean slid into a seat across from him, squinting still.

"Yeah. Its moms go to drink. According to her, everything can be solved with tea. If not solved, then at least it'll make you feel better. Anyway, you want something stronger than that, like coffee? You gotta ask for it." Dean reached out for his mug. "Now who the hell are you and what do you have against my car?"

"Your  _car_?" Gabriel spluttered and then lost it. "You're one of  _those!_  Oh god, I'm never letting Cassie live it down…" Gabriel whooped in laughter.

"Cassie…Gabriel…oh shit…" Deans' eyes widened as he finally realized who was sitting in front of him currently laughing his ass off. Mary sat between them at the end of the table watching with her eyebrows raised. After a couple of sips, when Gabriel's laughter still hadn't died down, she turned back to her son.

"Dean, where are your glasses?" He shrugged.

"Hell if I know. I can't find 'em. Don't know if it's because they're gone or if I'm just having the usual trouble when they're not left in the usual places."

"When's the last time you uh…saw them?" Gabriel finally calmed down enough so that he got the question out amidst only small snickers.

"Well, I couldn't have driven without them, so, I had them at the Roadhouse for sure. After that, well…you know it's all kind of a blur." Deal looked at his mom and shrugged again. She nodded and stood up.

"I'll call Ellen, see if she saw them. You probably dropped them when…" she trailed off. Dean sighed.

"Yeah, I bet you're right." Gabriel looked from one to the other, swinging his head in exaggerated motions to make it super obvious that he was feeling a little left out of the conversation.  When neither of them took him up on his oh so subtle request to be filled in, he spoke up.

"What happened last night?" Dean groaned and let his head fall to the table. His mother patted his shoulder reassuringly before she left the room. "C'mon man, I didn't come all this way for nothing. Fill me in! And be quick about it…I got to get back to the airport before seven o'clock." Dean lifted his head slightly, just enough to glare at Gabriel but sighed and straightened out right after. He raised his hand and threaded it through his hair, making it even more rumpled looking than before. Which was saying something considering how short it was.

"I ruined a perfectly good date is what happened. Your brother has the patience of a saint."

"Yup, Saint Cassie, that’s what we call him. What did you do?"

"I didn't do nothing! Damn headache ruined it."

"A headache? That must have been some headache…" Gabriel trailed off. "Wait, like the one you had during Charlie's interview?" Dean groaned again and closed his eyes, nodding. "Just how bad are they?"

"Bad enough that the doctor grounded me."

"Grounded you?"

Gabriel's thoughts immediately went to flying and planes. Was Dean a pilot too?

"Yeah, can't go back to work at the garage or go driving or do anything similar, in case I have another…attack. It's just too dangerous for myself and anyone around me. Can't say I disagree. I, uh, really don't remember much after it happened. Cas got us home. And he didn't even seem mad or upset that I ruined our date. Like I said, a saint." There was no way Dean was going to admit to Gabriel that Cas had stayed with him through the night at his request. "Your brother is something else."

Gabriel took in the expressions flitting across Dean's face. First frustration, obviously, for the things he couldn't do anymore, followed by sadness and guilt at the idea that he'd ruined things for Gabe's brother, but finally ending with awe and happiness. Gabriel could only guess because in the end, Cassie hadn't made Dean feel bad about what had happened. He'd probably tried to reassure him, actually, knowing his brother.

 The impressions were fleeting, but Gabriel trusted them. He would definitely  _not_  get in the way of the two lovebirds, and he'd do whatever he needed to help them along. Though if they'd already had a date, maybe they didn't even need any help? He needed more information, of the kind he couldn't pump from Dean. He could tell the kid would get defensive if he tried. His eyes narrowed. Now how was he going to get that in the short amount of time he had left?

It was then that Mary returned.

"I'm going to head down to the Roadhouse, pick up your glasses, maybe some lunch. You coming?" She turned to pick up her keys and wallet. Dean shook his head and his mother turned back to look at him fully, concerned. "Dean, you okay? Turning down burgers from Ellen doesn't sound like you." He turned red as he mumbled just loud enough to be heard.

"I um…have plans." He looked down at his watch. "Could you bring me back a burger?" This time his voice was louder and full of hope. "Or two? Yeah definitely two. With fries. Lots of fries." She nodded.

"Sure thing, sweetie."

"Hey, Mrs. W…can I come with you? I wanna get something to eat before I have to head back."

"Sure, do you want to just follow? I might hang out for a little while and I'm not sure when you have to leave."

"That’s fine. That’s perfect even." Gabriel grinned smugly; glad that Mary had turned away and that Dean could apparently not see the finer details without his glasses. This was his chance. Getting Mary away from Dean could be the perfect opportunity to press for information.


	56. Gabriel's Infamous Interrogation Techniques

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel goes fishing at the Roadhouse, and gets a few (pleasant) surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 1/4 pages long or 1731 words
> 
> Sorry, still no pictures.  
> I'm so tiiiiiired....

Gabriel quickly made his goodbyes to both Dean and the dog, the latter seeming sad to see him go. Dean was already distracted by his phone, his face blushing. Gabriel would bet anything that the green eyed man was talking to Cassie.

Following Mrs. Winchester to the Roadhouse was pretty quick and easy, thankfully. It almost made Gabriel feel guilty about the number of times he was deliberately difficult when people were following him someplace. He'd declared it was 'a challenge' that all his potential friends had to face.  Yeah, he knew he could kinda be a dick sometimes.

They pulled in to the Roadhouse and he followed Mary in, as she once again insisted he call her. "I wouldn't have introduced myself as Mary, if I'd wanted you to call me Mrs. Winchester." He had to grant her the logic on that one.

He stepped inside and glanced around, taking in the dark wood, the warm atmosphere and how even in the late afternoon on a weekday, it was still fairly busy. He nodded approvingly as he smelled an array of tantalizing aromas.

"Hmm…Rustic. I like."

"Trouble! What are  _you_  doing here?" He startled and turned, finding Charlie in a booth, set up with both her laptop and some food.

"Red! I could ask you the same thing!" he bounced on over and slid to a sitting stop in the seat across from her.

"Oh, I'm just visiting Jo. She's working right now, but I'll introduce you when she comes to take your order. I see you arrived with Dean's mom. What's up with that?"

"Oooooh….nothing." Gabriel smirked as he buffed his nails on his jacket. Charlie narrowed her eyes and leaned in, pushing the laptop aside.

"No, really Gabe. What's going on?"

"Really. Nothing at all…" He tried to insist innocently. Charlie was probably his best source of information, he was thinking.  She gave him a knowing look and he leaned towards her. "Okay, I'm here 'cause I want dirt. So dish." She grinned.

"Knew it!"

"Come on, keep your voice down, Charlie!"

"How'd you know where to come?"

"I ran a trace on Cassie's phone. And I looked the Winchesters up in the phone book after I arrived. Not hard at all after I finally got his name.  His  _full_  name."

"You saw the interview?"

"I did. Tell me, was I seeing things or do we have a set of shy lovebirds on our hands?"

"Maybe not so shy as we all thought." She leered, waggling her eyebrows as she turned her laptop so that they could both see it. "Look what I just found."

Pressing play, Charlie watched Gabriel for a reaction as he leaned in to see what seemed like a scene in a movie.  Two men, one dark haired and one dirty blonde, standing in an embrace in an airport terminal saying goodbye.  It was so cliché that he snorted in amusement. This would be teasing material for a long time. He leaned in but realized he couldn't hear what they were saying because whoever had recorded this moment between Dean and his brother had been too far away for that, but had zoomed in as best as they could with their camera, giving a very clear view of the two men and their goodbye kiss.

"Whew…that's something!" his eyes wide as he watched. "I didn't know little Cassie had it in him! Good for you Cas!" He cheered. Then his face fell. "Damn!"

"What? I thought you were happy?"

"Well I am but now I'm disappointed. I really wanted to shove them into a closet and lock it behind them."

A long blonde haired woman that Gabriel was pretty sure he recognized from somewhere landed in the booth next to Charlie, hooking her chin on Charlie's shoulder.

"Whoa! Steamy! When did  _this_  happen?"

"This morning, apparently."

"Sweet. What say, after my shift, we head on over to Deano's and tease the hell out of him?" Jo's enthusiastic question was met with a smack on the back of her head. "Ow, mom!"

"You leave Dean and that nice man alone. No interfering. I mean it JoAnna Beth!" Jo rubbed the back of her head with a sulky look on her face. "None of that now, back to work. I believe this young man here would like to order, am I right?" Gabriel grinned at the older woman, who seemed to be the same age as Mary, who was standing right next to her. This must be Ellen then.

"Definitely!  What would you recommend? Got anything sweet? Ooooh! I know, I want dessert!"

"Wait, didn't Kali cut you off?" Charlie cut in. "I could swear I heard Cas going on about it."

"Yes, which is why I need as much sugar as I can get my hands on right now! I need to store up for the bleak, sugarless season that is being thrust upon me." He sighed dramatically and Charlie rolled her eyes.

"We got pie. That's about it for the deserts. But what I would recommend are the burgers. Your brother seemed to like 'em."

"Yeah, that’s kinda his thing. Oh well, whatever. Surprise me!"  When Ellen and Jo both walked away, Mary sat down next to Gabriel, staring at Charlie's laptop with a fond smile. After a moment's silence, Gabriel tilted his head in a way very much reminiscent of his brother and blurted, "Wait, how'd she know Cassie was my brother?"

"That's Ellen for you. She's a very smart woman. I warn you Gabriel, and you too Charlie, that Ellen is a woman you'd never want to cross. You'll regret it very much if you do." Gabriel scoffed while Charlie's eyes widened and she gulped. He snickered. He could just imagine the thought process going on in Charlie's mind right now. Well, not exactly. Charlie was pretty random sometimes. It's why he got along with her so well. But he had a good guess what was at the heart of it all.

It wasn't long before more food made its way to the table to be placed in front of Gabriel and Mary, Charlie still munching on the remnants of her own food and her eyes lighting up when an extra plate of fresh fries was placed in front of her. She beamed at the blonde.

"Thanks Jo!" Turning back to the others at the table after Jo left again, Charlie stared at Gabriel in mix of realization and confusion. "Hey, aren't you going to be late to that thing?"

"What? That Cassie's at? Nah, I'm not scheduled until later. I gotta leave in like, an hour though." Gabriel took a bite of his food and chewed it thoughtfully. "I really do wonder though, if Dean and Cassie realize their bit of lovemaking is on the world wide web?"

"Well, if they didn't before, Cas at least will know by tomorrow." Charlie tried to smother her laughter while Deans mom looked on inquiringly.

"Why is that?"

"Well, the fandom is pretty on top of things. They're bound to ask him about it at the event they're both attending," Charlie nodded at Gabe to include him, "and about Dean. After our interview and then this? And everything else…this is like, fuel for the fire."

"Is my boy  - can I see the other things about Dean?"

"You mean the video clips that got posted?" Charlie asked. Mary nodded. "Sure, I've got 'em saved." Mary watched the original two videos from AngelCon and her face held a gentle smile as she watched them. Everything was great, of course, until the fight that hurt Dean. Even knowing he was okay now, at least mostly, and that this had opened the way for good things, couldn't stop her from gasping and bringing a hand to her mouth when she saw him felled. But then her eyes softened and she smiled again, her hand dropping down as she saw Cas racing over to help him, and the fear and worry on his face before the video clip cut out.  She also saw a glimpse of Gabriel and another man and when she saw what they had done, she abruptly turned and engulfed a very shocked Gabriel in a tight squeeze.

"Thank you so much!"

"Uh…your welcome?" He replied, his voice muffled because his face was buried in hair. He was stiff in her arms, food in his hands and unable to see anything with the blonde cloud in front of his face. "I guess? What did I do?"  He put his food down and groped for a napkin. Once clean, he tried to push some of the hair out of his eyes and he saw Charlie grinning madly. "Just go with it!" she mouthed at him.  Mary pulled away and patted his shoulder with one hand, wiped at her eyes with the other.

"For helping, of course. For keeping him – or anyone else, for that matter – from getting hurt worse. Not a lot of people would brave a bar fight, though I'm sure you stepped in to try and protect your own brother when he rushed in like that. Still, thank you." She patted him again. "And thank that other young man with you. He's a friend of yours, yes?"  Gabriel nodded.

"Yeah, that’s Balthy. I'll see him this weekend. Don't worry, I'll pass along the message. Want me to hug 'em for you too?" She smiled at him gratefully.

"Yes, I think that's a wonderful idea. Please do that for me as well." Gabriel nodded and returned to his food, sending daggers with his eyes at Charlie who kept chortling every time she looked over at the two of them. Revenge. He needed some sort of revenge. A motion caught his eye and he noticed the waitress who was going by. Jo. He smirked. Oooooh….that was it. He'll have to catch some time with Jo before he left and maybe exchange numbers so he could tell her embarrassing tidbits about Charlie. Also, being Dean's childhood friend, he could keep closer tabs on the man if he was talking with her. And possibly pry a few embarrassing stories about Dean-o at the same time.

Yep, sounded like he had a plan. Not as fun as finding ways to throw Dean and Cassie at each other, but since it seemed unnecessary, he had to find his amusement elsewhere.


	57. Advice from Gabe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabe gets to break the news to Cas about the internet video...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s. Just added some pics to chapters 31, 33, 35,36, and 56

Castiel stared at his phone as he tried to follow Charlie's instructions from memory for Skype. He'd made sure it was plugged in so it wouldn't die too quickly but he was having a bit of trouble connecting on the other end. He was glad this was just a test run with Charlie, he'd have hated to make Dean wait through his incompetence.

"What's wrong, baby bro?" Castiel almost jumped out of his skin at the unexpected sound of Gabriel’s voice.  
  
"You're late." Was all the reaction he allowed.

"Meh, I had a last minute detour. 'sides, I'm here now and Balthy tells me you've been distracted and pining all day. What's up? Didja leave someone behind?" Castiel turned and leveled a suspicious, blue eyed glare at his brother.

"I'm fine, Gabe."

"Really now, Cassie? So, you  _aren't_  missing Dean-o or Jo, Mary or Bones or anyone else in good old Lawrence?"

"Gabe…" Castiel rumbled, "What did you do?"

"Nothing!" As his brother continued to glare at him, Gabe placed a hand across his heart. "What, you don't believe me? I'm wounded that you wouldn't trust your own brother!"

"For good reason."

"We don't call you the Trickster for nothing, Gabe darling." And there was Balthazar's two cents. Not that Castiel was going to object to his friend and costar weighing in on his side as he watched an arm drop heavily around Gabriel's shoulders. Gabriel winced but still managed to get his eyes to widen innocently.

"I have done nothing. No tricks! I promise!"

"Yet you know names you shouldn't." Castiel pointed out.

"Maaaybe I do….because…Charlie?"

"I don't think so." Castiel's voice was flat and his eyes still narrowed, the phone forgotten in his hands. Gabriel's shoulders slumped.

"Okay, okay. I saw Charlie today."

"But Charlie is in Lawrence until the day after tomorrow."

"Ye-up." Was all Gabriel said, popping the p exaggeratedly. Balthazar's arm dropped off the shorter mans shoulders and he dropped into a seat, content to just watch the show.

"What were you doing in Lawrence?"

"I'd say looking for you, but…you wouldn't believe me, would you?"

"No, Gabe. I would not."

"If it helps any, I wouldn't have believed you either. Especially since you were supposed to be here several hours ago."

"You're not helping, Balthazar."

"I wasn't trying to, not you anyway." He smirked. "Now, who were those people in Lawrence that you mentioned, and why does Cassie look like he's about go into apoplexy?" Balthazar continued to smirk at the brothers as they tried to figure out who it was he was 'helping'. Both of them eventually coming to the independent conclusion of "not either of them." Finally Gabriel just sighed and gave in, but as he opened his mouth to speak, something seemed to come to him and a glint appeared in his eyes.

"Okay, so, yeah, you caught me. I went to Lawrence. I met Dean and his mom and that adorable dog. Then I went to the Roadhouse and caught up on current affairs with the immense help of Charlie. I also met Jo and Ellen. And _then_ Charlie caught both of them- and Mary too - up on current events as well." His brother tilted his head in confusion.

"There's…no current events that everybody wouldn't already be caught up on. I don’t understand what you're talking about."  Castiel watched the smile on his brothers face turn both evil and gleeful. That was a bad sign. A very bad sign.  Yet for the life of him, he couldn't think of anything that would put that look on his face.

As Gabriel fumbled with his own phone, he couldn't help the chortle that slipped out of his mouth, followed by a full on bout of cheesy evil laughter, all for dramatic effect. He was going to make Cassie as uncomfortable and on edge as possible. He was already going to pay for this, he might as well go full out. With a few taps and slides of his fingers on his phone, he pulled up the video link he'd asked Charlie to send him and queued it up.

"Gather 'round kiddies! I only wish I had popcorn so I could properly enjoy this." Balthazar stood and crowded close to Gabe on one side while Castiel hesitantly inched forward on the other. When they were both _finally_ in place, Gabe hit play. Instead of watching the video, Gabe watched his brother. Cassie's face paled and he groaned.

"Oh shit. And you said Charlie _showed_ this to everyone? Oh my god. Has _Dean_ seen this??? He's…he's…" Castiel covered his face in his hands.

"Oh, c'mon Cas…what's the prob? So some fan caught you guys macking on video…and published it to the internet. You knew there was no privacy when you got into show biz…that’s just the way it is."

"But…Dean didn't sign up for this." His brother mumbled around his fingers. Gabriel fell quiet. A little niggling voice in the back of his head telling him he should maaaaaaybe back off on the teasing and perhaps, just maybe, pull forward the supportive older brother.  He should probably listen to that voice.

"I'm sure it'll be fine, Cassie." He placed a hand on his brother's shoulder and Castiel sighed deeply, dropping his hands from his face, rubbing his brow on the way down. Gabriel was relieved to not see tears. He wasn't sure he could handle tears, especially if it was Cassie.

"But what if it's not? This is…what we have…I don't even….it's just so _new_ , Gabriel." Castiel looked at him helplessly.

"Look, bro, I actually talked with Dean today, and what's more, to some of his family and friends. I think you're panicking prematurely."

"Prematurely? What about our question and answers tomorrow? What do I say if they ask?"

"I don't see the problem. What would you normally say?"

"Well…that…" Castiel floundered and Gabriel broke in before he could go any further.

"Look, if you're that worried about it, just _call_ him and talk. And I would suggest you do it before tomorrow. Get a game plan on."

"That…is unusually sound advice." Castiel looked at the shorter man in surprise and gratefulness.

"Yeah, that’s 'cause I'm so sma – Hey! What do you mean 'unusually'?" Gabriel's indignant look sent Balthazar into gales of laughter. "What!? Oh, c'mon guys! See if I help again…" Gabriel stomped off pouting.

"Thank you, Gabriel." Castiel called after him while Balthazar slid to the floor, doubling over and wheezing.


	58. Cas Needs to Talk to Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas follows Gabes advice and calls Dean to discuss the video...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 pages

His phone chimed and Dean picked it up. Despite texting back and forth with Cas nearly all day, he was still as eager to read its contents as when he'd started. It had certainly been a strange day, full of ups and downs and a few surprises to boot. He certainly had had no idea that Gabriel would show up. Suddenly, he wondered if Cas did.  

He frowned. Should he have said something? When Gabe had shown up earlier, Cas and he had already been deep in discussion of other things, and Dean hadn't wanted to interrupt the flow. And then later, he had just plain old forgotten.  Meh, he'd tell him later. Maybe. It couldn't have been that important. Gabe hadn't even stuck around all that long. Thumbing the phone on, he read Cas's message.

 _::Dean, I think we need to talk.::_   Frowning, Dean started typing back immediately, a little niggling worry  curling in his gut.

 _::I thought we were talking?::_   the response was so immediate, that Dean suspected Cas had already been typing before Dean had finished composing his own response.

_::Can I call?::_

_::Yeah::_  No sooner had he hit send, then the phone started ringing. Nervously, Dean answered it.

"Cas, is…everything all right?"

"I'm not sure. I, uh, I don't want you to be mad at me. I didn't know, I swear. But…I should have expected it, and I didn't warn you. This is all my fault, De-"

"Cas, calm down, what happened?" Dean was starting to get worried but for different reasons as he listened to Cas's desperate and rushed words.

"Gabe – "

"Is this about your brother showing up out of the blue, Cas? I'm not mad about that. Weirded out, maybe, but not mad."

"No, that's not, I mean, Gabe told me…I didn't know. And Charlie told him. In fact, it appears that she showed him and Jo and your mother…"

"Showed him what?" He heard a deep sigh on the other end of the phone.

"I think that, it might be best if, if you just saw it. Can you get to a computer?" Dean looked over to the corner and saw his laptop. He nodded then rolled his eyes cause Cas couldn't see him.

"Yeah, I'm turning it on now. What are we looking at?"

"I'll give you the address as soon as you're ready." Dean could hear Cas fidgeting on the other side of the phone. Whatever this was, was really worrying him. It didn't take long for the laptop to boot up and pushing speaker on his phone, he put it down so he could use the keyboard.

"All right, what am I looking for?" he typed in the url the actor gave him and it immediately took him to a video on YouTube. Stealing himself, he hit play. His eyes widened. "Holy Shit…" he breathed.

"I'm so sorry –" Cas started again and Dean interrupted for the third time.

"Not your fault Cas." He could almost hear the sigh of relief on the other end.  "Why are you so worried anyway? You thought I'd be mad people saw us? Who cares who saw us kissing? Unless you do?"

"No, I'm used to my life not being quite so private, though I'm not always happy about it. But I thought that…it's not something we discussed, the invasion into your privacy just from hanging out with me, and this is…more than that. I'm at a con Dean, this video's already been seen by thousands of people and…tomorrow, when panels start, they're going to ask questions.  There's no avoiding it and…I don't know what to say, we haven't really…discussed  _us_. I don't want to say things you wouldn't agree to."

"So, damage control then? What are you okay with? Cause I'm very okay with just about anything you could say." Dean lay back on the bed, setting the laptop to his side. The churning in his gut had calmed down quite a bit and this was probably a discussion they should have anyway which sounded like it would go favorably.  He crossed his fingers, hoping he wasn't about to 'count his chickens before they'd hatched' , as his mother would say.

"Well, I…would you be amenable in…being my boyfriend? Despite the, uh, lack of privacy that will accompany a relationship with me?" Dean grinned, the last of the churning dying away at Cas's words.

"Cas, I can't think of anything that would scare me off of dating you. If you're willing to give this a try, than I am too. Not promising I won't freak out sometimes, or tell the paparazzi to shove it, but uh…yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yes, I'll be your boyfriend." He could hear the smile in Cas's voice.

"That’s…that's wonderful to hear Dean."

"Feeling better? A little more relaxed?"

"Indeed. I'm very happy, and relieved."

"Ready to face the hordes tomorrow?"

"Um…maybe? I don’t think I'm ever  _really_  ready but, I won't be alone."

"Still, glad it's you and not me." Dean rubbed at his forehead as he listened to the surprised snort and he laughed.

"Thanks Dean, throwing me to the wolves already I see?"

"Dude, I'd be there if I could, I promise." They laughed together for a moment before Cas sighed again.

"Gabe is getting really annoying. I have to go."

"I don't know  _how_  you deal with him for a brother."

"He's not so bad. He's got a good heart in him, he just likes to hide it."

"Cassie! Stop spreading vicious lies!" Dean could just barely make out Gabriel's voice on the other end, and he barely stopped laughing long enough to say goodbye to Cas before they hung up on each other.


	59. One Comfort Zone at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are Moving along for Dean...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we're almost done...

It's been weeks since he'd seen Cas on anything other than a screen. On the one hand, this was frustrating. On the other, it was affording them time to really get to know each other. It just wasn't a substitute for being able to see him in person. Not that Dean wasn't busy. Or Cas, for that matter. They both had a lot of things to do. In between headaches that had no pattern to them - one week, he'd have none, another week was so bad he'd barely left his room - he'd done a lot of investigating on his options for college.   
  
And wasn't that just the weirdest thought? Him. College. Not something he'd ever expected, or even dared to dream of. And the choices were endless. Art was a subjective sort of thing and the reviews for different colleges were wildly varied compared to when Sam had been checking into what he needed for law. Some people extolled the virtues of one place, only to have that same place getting just as many negative hits. Compiling a list of potentials, he finally sorted them by cost and locations. Then he ran it by his mother. And for good measure, he ran it by Sam as well.   
  
 But ultimately, the final decision was his. And after much internal debate, he finally decided to stay local. It would cut down on costs, and he was wary of going off on his own to a place where he knew _absolutely_  no one should he have another "episode" at an inopportune time. As it was, it was likely something he'd have to discuss with the college staff in general, and his teachers specifically, so if he suffered one during class time, they'd know what was going on and not panic. They'd also be able to - hopefully- accommodate any issues he had attending classes if he was cut down and missed one, or two...or more. Who was he kidding? It would definitely be more.   
  


He took a deep breath. No. he wasn't going to think negatively. He had a plan. He was going to try out the local college for a year, see how it fit him. See how badly the headaches interfered with the things he wanted or needed to do, and then...maybe...he might make a transfer. He hadn't talked about it with Cas yet, but he didn't want to do this long distance thing  _forever_ , not if he could find ways around it. Sure, he knew Cas would often be away on sets...or at shows, but it would be easier on the both of them if Dean was at least nearby when Cas came home.

But then again, when Cas wasn't home, which would probably be often, Dean would wind up without having much of a support network. He acted all macho but he was a very social animal. Just thinking about it was making him all jittery. No, one step at a time. One comfort zone at a time.

The University of Kansas website blinked at him from his laptop. It seemed the best bet. It had an arts major – several of them actually. He might want to dabble till he found what it was he wanted to concentrate in. And it was close. Very close. Which was good for his personal needs since he wouldn't be able to drive himself in the Impala for who knew how long. _Don't let it be forever!_ Was his immediate and quick prayer. A combination of bumming rides from friends and family – no matter how he winced at the idea of relying on other people – and braving  the – _shudder_ \- bus system, should be do-able and he'd be able to live at home, saving money in at least that way.

The upside was that he'd finally be able to delve into something he really, really loved. The downside was that he was supremely anxious about it. The idea of showing his art to others besides the people he loved…of baring his soul to strangers. He swallowed. It was very decidedly nerve wracking. He had to give Cas props, because acting pretty much did the same thing.

And if he was honest, he felt a bit guilty too, that he would be getting to do something like this for himself, but Cas and his mother had effectively squashed a lot of that guilt. Still, he couldn't help but feel some. Yet a giddy, light feeling was bubbling up as well, trying valiantly to overwhelm all the rest. It was unfamiliar and a little scary but…welcome. _Yes_ , he thought, as he continued to delve into all his different feelings, some of which he couldn't even really identify, _definitely welcome_.


	60. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the conclusion to our story...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *blink*  
> I knew I was getting close, but...didn't realize this was quite it till I wrote it. it feels right, though, and I couldn't resist the chapter title.
> 
> AND every single chapter now has pictures. we have 60 chapters, and 62 pictures, some better than others. I really like the one at the end of this one.

Honestly, this…this was going way better than Dean had expected. Halfway through a year of classes and he was feeling a lot more comfortable with his art and his skill level, with sharing it and pieces of his own soul with strangers. Getting feedback and – hopefully constructive – criticism. That had been the hardest to learn how to deal with and he still wasn't quite there yet. Learning how to take criticism and not take it to heart was hard.

Almost as hard as it was not to see Cas on a regular basis. Skype just was no replacement for flesh and blood. He blushed at the memory of their last in person meet up. Then he grinned happily.

Dean couldn't believe his life. He'd adjusted quite well to college, he was making friends and his headaches were happening a lot less frequently. Well, the incapacitating ones anyway. It gave him hope that his tentative plans for the future just might work out.

He fumbled at his jacket to snag and answer his phone as the ringtone set just for Cas started blaring loudly from his pocket.

"Hey baby, I was just thinking about you." Deans mouth changed from an all out grin to a soft and happy smile.

"Hello Dean. I was wondering if you were free right now?"

"Free? Uh, yeah, why?" Dean looked around the campus from where he sat on a bench, his backpack and portfolio at his feet as he waited for a ride. He still hadn't gotten clearance from the docs to drive again. While infrequent, they were still worried about those headaches, and what could happen should he be driving. At this rate, he wondered if he was ever going to drive Baby again.

Looking down at the ground, he noticed through movement in his peripherals that a car was pulling up to the curb in front of him and had stopped.

"Because I happen to be in the area and thought we could go out for lunch." A door slammed and the sound reverberated through the phone. He looked up to find Cas leaning over the roof of a car – obviously a rental – his own phone pressed to his ear as he grinned at Dean.  Deans own face broke into an answering grin.

"Nah man, I'm afraid I can't, looks like my ride is here."

"Oh well. That's too bad Dean. Maybe I'll just ask this cute looking guy at the bus stop if he wants to go with me instead. You know how I hate to go alone."

"Can't have that. Go ahead and ask the guy. Bet he isn't cuter than you are though." Dean had stood and slung his bag over his shoulder, then bent at the knees to grab his portfolio as well so as not to dislodge the first bag. Still holding his phone to his ear, he walked over to the car.

"Hmm…I don't know about that. He _is_ pretty gorgeous." Castiel walked around the car, staring at his blushing boyfriend as they both dropped their phones, each of them barely taking a moment to hang up before Dean had dropped his bag to his feet. Mere seconds later, he and Cas were embracing.

"God, I missed you."

"And I you." They held onto each other for long moments, mindful of their very public location before both of them pulled back reluctantly. Cas opened the rear door so they could stash Deans bags and they were shortly on their way to the Roadhouse.

"I thought you were still filming?"

"We are, but there was an accident on set. And we're so close to the end of filming that there's not much else we can do till repairs are made and Gabe's recovered enough to keep going.  So we are all getting a mini vacation."

"Shit, is he alright?"

"Just a fractured wrist. He'll be okay. But he is hamming it up and milking it for all he's worth."

"That sounds like your brother all right." Dean huffed a laugh and Castiel joined in.

Before long, the two of them were ensconced in their usual booth at the Roadhouse, food appearing before them without a word to ask what they wanted. Dean was beaming at the fact that Cas was enough of a regular that he got service like that. And he was well liked by everyone, which was a definite plus – and a breath of relief – for Dean.

They ate their meal in a companionable silence. The kind you only get when two people are very comfortable with each other. They sat as close as they could without impeding their arms for eating, legs and sides touching.

Dean finished first and he pushed his plate away with a happy sigh and leaned back in the booth and just stared at his boyfriend, still as entranced with him as the day he'd first seen him on the screen. More, even, because the in person Cas was just as awesome in the personality department as he'd been in the looks department. Dean couldn't believe how he'd gotten so lucky.

He was even more confused about how lucky he was just a few minutes later. When the blue eyed man finished his meal, he leaned back next to Dean, taking Deans hand in his own. He was glancing nervously at Dean, almost apprehensively, before clearing his throat.

"So, I have some news that I think, I hope, you'll be okay with?"

"What is it Cas?" Dean raised an eyebrow in question and watched the other man's face. Cas was staring down at their joined hands, a thumb absentmindedly caressing Deans hands.

"Um, so…I um, bought a house here, in Lawrence. Nothing fancy, I don't need fancy, but its got…it's got enough space for um, for you if you'd like to umm…" Cas trailed off, his courage failing him. Dean practically held his breath as he tried to wrap his head around the words.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?" He stared at Cas in wonder as the actor jerked his head in a nod, braving a glance upwards through his lashes.

"You don't have to, if you're not ready Dean. I was just thinking that…and at the very least, we'll be closer when I'm between movies. And I was thinking, that would be a good thing. I don't…I don't really have anything tying me to my other place, so I sold it. I mean, almost all my family is in 'show business' –" Cas's hands were otherwise occupied, but Dean could practically _see_ the quote marks around the words. "So I see them practically all the time – sometimes too much.  Same with most of my friends. And they're all pretty spread out too, unlike yours. "

Dean couldn't help smiling as Cas babbled – _actually babbled_ \- in his nervousness. He turned in his seat so that their sides were no longer pressing against each other. Leaving his hand cradled between Cas's, he raised his other to the blue eyed mans stubbled jaw and lifted his head so their eyes could meet. Cas stuttered to a stop and Dean smirked at him before closing the distance in a brief, and surprisingly chaste, kiss.

  


"You dork. Yes, I'll move in with you. As long as you have space for Baby."

"Of course, Dean. I made sure of that already."

"God, how'd I get lucky enough to deserve you?" he breathed. The next kisses between the two men were not even remotely as chaste, and it wasn't long before Ellen came along and threatened to kick them out of the Roadhouse if they didn't take it down a notch. Or three.;.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...that's that. It's actually done. *blinks in surprise*
> 
> i AM debating making an epilogue - a few years down the road, maybe...but not sure yet. Might depend on the responses I get for this.
> 
> Many thanks to those of you who have read, kudo'd, subscribed and commented - every bit of it was appreciated. I hope everyone enjoyed this AND the art - please let me know. This is my first major undertaking, and the whole thing has had me kinda nervous  
> I have no plans yet for a new one...I want to do more but I haven't gotten any ideas yet, and I don't want to force it.  
> See you (hopefully!) on the next story. 
> 
> In the meantime, you can find me on Tumblr : [Dragon Press Graphics](http://dragonpressgraphics.tumblr.com/), where I'm a total geek :D


	61. Epilogue - 8 Years After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peak into the lives of Castiel and Dean 8 years later...wrapping up our ending just a leeeeetle bit neater. Please enjoy!

Dean woke in the near dark with a whimper as his head exploded in sudden pain. Attempting to sit up, he fumbled at the night stand for his bottled water and his pills – a mixture of pain meds, anti-nausea medication and even something for vertigo, a concoction that had taken years to get the right mix of.

After he gulped them down, he lay back in the bed as carefully as he had a mind to, so as not to wake the man – the love of his life – sleeping beside him. He pressed the heels of his hands to his head.

A short while later – though it seemed longer, it always did – the pain finally died down to a more bearable level and he finally registered the hand carding gently through his hair. Lowering his hands, Dean relaxed into the touch of his husband – a thought that still sent a thrill through him even after two years of marriage.  He sighed and turned just enough to look at Cas.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you." A reassuring smile appeared at his whisper, clearly illuminated in the dim light cast by the small lamp on Dean's side of the bed that always remained on. An addition Cas had insisted would not bother him, because even after all these years, Dean had a tendency to panic when he woke up in a fully dark room.

"Don't worry about it Dean. Try to get some more sleep. Big day tomorrow." Cas's low, rumbling voice soothed him further.

"Hmmph…not as big as the day we met, even if I didn't know it then. Or as big as the day we said I do." God, he was such a sap these days, and he didn't seem to care anymore who saw it. Though he was glad they'd somehow managed to keep their wedding from being the huge, media circus it had threatened to be. Some things should just be about family, and the friends who he - no, _they_ \- counted as family. He felt the chuckle shake him as Cas answered.

"Maybe not. But it's still important." Mutually pulling closer to each other, Dean eventually fell back to sleep, soothed by the warmth and the feel of Castiel. His last thought before he did was _, How did I get so lucky?_

When Dean woke for the second time, he was most definitely feeling _much_ better, though his head still throbbed. He was alone in bed, but a fresh bottle stood on the night stand and he smiled. He took his morning pills before quickly getting up and snagging the clothes already laid out. He jumped into the shower and reveled in the hot water and the pressure but tried not to take too long. He hoped that his head behaved today, of all days.

He heard a door slam and he knew his brother and his brothers' fiancé had arrived. They'd be heading over together after breakfast. Dressed, he made his way out to the kitchen, following the happy voices towards his food. Cas was still in sweatpants and nothing else, just finishing up some bacon. It was a staple in their household. A very necessary one. Sharing a kiss, much to the gagging dismay of Sam, Dean took over.

"Go on and get ready, Angel." Another brief kiss, then Cas pulled away to take his own shower, but not before snagging one of the pieces of bacon that had already cooled somewhat and used it to point towards the coffee machine where Dean's favorite mug was already set up and ready for him. "You are a god send, Cas."

"You two are  _still_  disgusting." Sam teased while reaching for his own bacon. Jess smacked his arm.

"Shut it. They're adorable." She grinned at Sam as he rubbed his arm and pouted at her. Somehow, she was immune to his puppy dog eyes so he sighed in mock defeat before he turned away from her and back to his brother.

"So you ready or what, man?"

"Dude, let me relax first. Around here, we save panic time for  _after_  breakfast." Sam snorted.

"Whatever, jerk."

"Hey, bitch, it works! I swear to god." Dean protested even as Sam rolled his eyes.

It wasn't long before the four of them were piling into the Impala. Dean grumbled disappointingly as he turned the keys over to the waiting hand of his husband. After waking up to an episode, it was probably best  _not_  to be the one driving, just in case he had a spike. Thank god that these episodes were few and far enough between  these days that the doctors had deemed him okay to drive his baby.

Sam raised his eyebrows as he watched the keys exchange hands and witnessed his brother in law dropping into the driver's seat. He waited only long enough for Dean to get in on the passenger side.

"You okay, Dean?"

"Yeah, man, better anyway." Dean relaxed back into the seat, his husbands hand on his leg for a brief moment, rubbing reassuringly before putting his full attention back to the road, which Dean appreciated. He may trust Cas above all others to drive his car, but he didn't want him taking any chances.

They arrived at the Gallery over an hour before start time, and there was already a crowd.  Dean couldn't believe it and judging from the gasp from Jess and the whistle from Sam, neither could they. The streets were packed with cars and the only reason they weren't worrying about parking for themselves was because it was reserved.

Deans leg started to bounce as he looked out the window of the car while Cas slowly drove through, often stopping for the people who were just crossing the streets willy nilly.  Dean huffed in relief when the car was parked safely but he was still jittery, as evidenced by his still bouncing leg. Cas reached across the space after turning off the car, getting Dean to place his attention on him.

"You've got this, Dean. You've earned it. And we'll be right beside you, every minute."

"Talk about yourself, Cas, I have a feeling it'll be easier for you to stay glued to his side then us." Sam was leaning forwards, arms crossed over and dangling into the front seat.

"At least if I want to find you, I can just look for the sasquatch in the crowd." Dean shot back.  He drew in a deep breath. "Okay, let's go in."

Getting through the crowd was a little difficult, but eventually they made it inside where everyone Dean and Cas could want for the private viewing were already gathered. Friends and family alike were grinning and hugging both of them with congratulations on their lips, for as much as Cas had insisted this was all Dean, everyone knew Dean would insist just as much that he wouldn't be where he was without Cas's help.

One word, at the right time, was all it took to give Dean his chance. Sometimes, he still couldn't believe it and he thought he must surely be dreaming. After graduating a year early from college, despite all his mishaps and issues, Cas had told him that the directors of the movie series he and his brother had been involved with from the start were looking for new concept artists and designs. While Dean only got to work on the one movie with Cas, it still opened many doors for him.

Later, when the powers that be decided to give in to fan demand to create a spin-off tv series based on the movies, Dean was invited back to be on the project. What made it even better was that Cas and so many of the others had been too. Working on a tv show was different than a movie, but it was steady work, with a more regular and predictable schedule. All in all, it worked for them and they adjusted to the differences easily.

Now here they were – at a Gallery viewing where Deans' work from the last movie and from the TV show was being displayed with the intent of selling. All proceeds to go to charities of Dean and Cas's choosing, as well as a scholarship or two. Paying it forward as he'd always wanted to do. Though he'd done other things over the years, this was it, this was his big project.  He'd even convinced the other artists from the original movie series to do the same. This event was just displaying Dean's work since it had been his idea, but when his was done, well, the rest would follow.

He felt incredibly proud and nervous at the same time. A warm hand grasped his and he smiled at Cas gratefully as they made their way through the Gallery. He'd seen all these pieces before of course, had spent hours and hours on each one, yet they still drew his gaze, staring at each one they passed in awe that  _he'd_ done that. He heard the not quite whispers as some of his friends and family got to see most of these for the first time. Some of them had titles, things he had secretly named each one before passing it in. Others were simply labeled by a combination of the scene or character it was meant to represent.

He came to a halt next to his father as John stared up at one – it happened to be his own favorite, one of his few oils with Cas as he angelic persona looking simultaneously badass and benevolent amidst a swirl of heavenly colors and blooming plant life, the title of the piece "Don't Be Afraid to Dream". With surprise, Dean noted that John had unshed tears in his eyes. Without looking away from the painting John spoke, voice quiet.

"Son, I'm sorry I  _ever_  tried to convince you this wasn't worth it. It was wrong –  _I_  was wrong. These are…I have no words, Dean." Finally, he looked over at Dean. "I hope you know that I'm proud of you." He flicked his gaze over to include his son in law. "Both of you."

"Yeah…" Dean had to stop and clear his throat. "Yeah, Dad, I know." Beside him, Castiel simply nodded, a small smile on his face at the acknowledgement from his father in law.

"Good." He turned back to the painting before him and missed the beaming smile of his wife as she took in the three of them. Dean could swear she was holding back a giggle as she held two thumbs up to them behind her husband's back.

 Behind her, Ellen grinned approvingly and Bobby gave a short nod. Jo and Charlie were several displays away, completely oblivious and cooing sickeningly over the one with Anna in it. Dean could see Gabriel posing beside one of himself and trying to convince his brother Michael to take a picture with his phone. Dean couldn't restrain the smirk as he realized that Gabe probably had plans to tweet it. When Michael continued to stubbornly refuse, Balthazar swiped the phone out of Gabe's hand with rolling eyes and a huffed breath.

Sam and Jess were talking earnestly with Cas's parents – and _that_ had certainly been a surprise. Dean hadn't expected they would have been able to get away from their own obligations long enough for this, but he was glad. He liked his in laws and knew Cas would be happy to see them. Benny and Garth were wandering about together, Garth doing most of the talking. Dean thought he even saw Alfie trailing along behind them. But then his attention was drawn away by a short, enthusiastic woman who bounced excitedly over to the husbands, and who was very obviously just barely restraining herself from grabbing both of them to get them to their places.

"Hello Becky." Dean did his best not to step backward in apprehension. He was never too sure about the curator for the Gallery. She often had this odd light in her eyes that made him just a little bit wary to be around her, and also very relieved that he was happily married. And that she well knew it.

"Are you both ready? We're about to open the doors!" She practically squealed. Dean gulped. The welcoming atmosphere of friends and family, the support they brought with them and with Castiel ever by his side, he'd almost forgotten his nervousness about what they were going to do. Breaking and unable to completely restrain herself, Becky suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm, dragging him back out to the main room, where a podium – a goddamned podium! – was already set up. He clutched at his husbands arm unnecessarily as Cas easily kept pace with both of them.

Becky stood him at the podium, his notes already laying on the top, Cas just a step behind him, his arm at his back and surreptitiously rubbing soothingly. Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then another. He didn’t like the limelight. That was Cas's deal, not his. But this meant a lot to him and he'd get through it. It wouldn't be alone either.

The doors opened and people crowded in. The main room was large, but it still wasn't large enough to accommodate everyone who'd arrived, so they were being set up and sent in as groups with time slots. Dean would have to do this more than once. His stomach churned.

As soon as people settled down, Becky gave him the signal to start. He tried to clear his throat without being obvious about it but it got caught on the mic anyway and he winced. He looked down at his notes on the podium, and then looked back up at the sea of faces before him.

"So um, Hello and welcome to the Gallery." He still thought it was strange that it was called simply that. "For those of you who don't know, I'm Dean Winchester." _Fat chance of that_ , he thought. Having a movie star for a husband threw a lot of their assumed right to privacy _right_ out the window. Though it could have been worse. They had somehow managed more privacy than others in their situation and while he had no idea how, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "What you'll be seeing for the first time today - with the studios permission of course - are the original designs and storyboards that I personally worked on for the last movie in the 'Angel' series and then afterwards, for the show. After this event, more of the art from the other artists involved in that endeavor will be displayed in a similar fashion. Not only can you view these one of a kind pieces, but you also have the option to purchase one and bring it home with you."

Dean paused, glancing back down at his notes and then back up at the crowd. "You may be wondering why it would be worth your time to buy one of the originals when some of them are available already as prints.  You see…this event, and the ones following after…have a um, singular purpose. All proceeds will not be going to the artists or the studio as you might expect. Instead, we have chosen to use the money for charitable works. I - _We_ want to create suicide and crisis support networks, further the reach of cancer research, feed the homeless and help underfunded schools. That’s just to name a few of the many good works we can do with the money we raise from this."  Dean paused again, turning his body slightly so he could reach behind him. Grabbing his husbands arm, he pulled Cas forward, moving his arm to wrap around Castiel's waist.

"I wouldn't be here before you today without the generosity and sacrifice of my friends and family, and the completely unexpected generosity of complete strangers. Without the gift that was raised for me during a…particularly trying time of my life… I would not have had the best opportunity ever to get to know a wonderful man and marry him, or to pursue a dream I thought lost to me. It's very simple, people. Karma. We can make the world a better place tomorrow by the things we do today, and that can return to us tenfold. Please consider the good you can do by making a purchase and remember that if my work doesn't strike your fancy, you can always return for one of the other many gifted and talented artists that will be doing their own showcases over the next few months."

With an inaudible sigh of relief, Dean ended his speech and let Becky take over. God it felt so long winded and contrived, but he really meant every word of it, even if he'd written and rewritten the words every day for the past month before his husband had made him stop. He tried to ignore the fact that he'd have to repeat it a few more times today and just sagged into Cas's strong arms.

"Nice job, Dean."

"Whatever man, just kiss me."

"Of course."

Over the next few months, every gallery showing, no matter where in the world it took place, or who was displayed, had completely sold out. Over and over again, Dean couldn't believe the outpouring of support among the community – and how it had spread outside of it.  More and more studios liked the idea, but none of those who tried it for themselves managed to do nearly as well – especially if any of them tried to net any amount of profit before sending the rest to charities and then word got out. And somehow, word _always_ got out. Dean was betting on Charlie or Ash for that. Or, he mused, maybe they were in on it together? Well, either way, it didn't matter.

Dean felt good about himself. About where he was in his life. He had a good life married to the man he loved, a job that was a lot of fun and letting him both exercise his talents and challenge himself. And he had found a way to use that gift to help others, which was something he'd always loved to do. And he was so lucky that his husband was right there with him, every step of the way. As were, of course, the rest of their friends and family. Though he supposed it just proved how worthy they all were to be part of the unit he called family, whether they be blood or not.

He really could not be happier. He hummed as he burrowed into his nest of blankets, he and his husband curled around each other contentedly. Nope, he couldn't imagine anything that could make this any better than it already was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't mean to lie. I honestly thought this was done. Though I had some reservations that the ending was a little abrupt. Then I had an epiphany and a request for an epilogue - and since I was already teetering on the verge, here it is. THE END. Finito. No more chapters for this story - I promise! (I didn't mean to mess up anyone who refuse to start a story that isn't finished, honest!)
> 
> As for the 4 pictures in this chapter, they are all quick pencil sketches as usual, though I think I might want to play with one or two of them later just for fun.
> 
> Please, feel free to let me know what you think :D


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